Meatball massacre

Had a bit of a catastrophe in the kitchen this morning. Came home from my morning walk and decided I’d throw some meatballs in the crockpot for dinner tonight. Now, when it comes to cooking I try to do things the easy way. And my meatballs are no exception to that rule.

So, I proceeded to get the pre–made meatballs out of the freezer and dumped them into the slow cooker. Added some seasoning and spices then doused them in spaghetti sauce. Plugged the crockpot into the 220-110 transformer and turned it on. Nothing. What the hell? I moved the transformer to another outlet and tried again. Nope. So I figured it must be a blown fuse or something, but nothing I could do about it now.

But what to do with the meatball concoction? I figured I’d go old school, and got the big pot off the shelf. I tried to pour the meatballs from the slow cooker directly into the pot and splashed sauce all over my shirt, my shorts, my socks, and the floor. Damn it! So anyway, I get what’s left into the pot, put it on the stove, and turn on the burner. Except the electric igniter (it’s a gas stove) wasn’t functioning. And then I realized just how truly stupid I can be. The transformer and the stove ignition wouldn’t work because we were experiencing a power outage again. Geez.

Well, I lit the stove with a lighter, set it on low, and laid down to catch 40 winks. I guess it was more like 400 because I napped for an hour. When I came downstairs my helper advised that I had burnt the meatballs. Aw well, I guess it wasn’t meant to be. The dogs will be eating good though I reckon.

Last night I played darts and finished in third place. That’s not bad considering I had a rookie for a partner. New gal named Faith, she’s Steve the non-drinking Englishman dart player’s girlfriend. I know he’s been training her up and I think she’ll be a good darter one day. Just inconsistent right now. She did throw a couple of double out shots though, so I’m not complaining.

I threw pretty decent overall, notwithstanding my failure to practice. I get teased sometimes because I will occasionally talk out loud to myself, saying things like “John, you gotta focus here” or “John, you got this out shot”. You know, just a little pep talk. Well, it turns out that talking to yourself in the second person is a scientifically proven way to improve performance.


Athletes who urge themselves on using the second person are more likely to triumph, new research has found.


Sportsmen and women have a greater chance of success if at the critical moment they say to themselves “you can do it” rather than “I can do it”, the study revealed.

And don’t you dare try and argue that darters aren’t “athletes”. Anyway, the bottom line is I had fun and that’s what it is all about. I guess the next time I tell myself “John, you need to practice your darts” I’ll try not to say “shut the fuck up, I’m blogging now”.

And another thing I did today rather than practice darts was answer this question on Quora: Have you ever immigrated from a wealthy country to a less wealthy country? Why?


I retired and moved to the Philippines a little over a year ago. I am an American but had been living and working for several years in Korea prior to moving here.


Why? Because it is a beautiful country filled with wonderful people. And my pension goes a lot further here than it would in the USA.


I remember my very first visit to the Philippines as a tourist back in 2008. I was shocked by the in your face poverty, even in the capital city of Manila. I’d never seen anything like it. The next thing I observed was how happy the Filipino people were despite being poor. Even with so little, Filipinos are also very generous. If one person is the family has 1000 pesos they will gladly share with a family member who has none, knowing that their kindness will be repaid when the situation is reversed.


Are there frustrations with living in a third world country? Hell yes! Bad infrastructure, unreliable utilities, shoddy craftsmanship, and spotty service are things you will frequently encounter. And if you can’t handle that you should definitely not live here. I used to get frustrated quite often until a girlfriend here taught me this mantra: “Take a deep breath. Relax. Accept the Filipino way.” I use it often and it seems to work.


A couple of years before I retired I brought a Korean woman I was dating with me for a visit. We had a great time but on our last night she told me she was breaking up with me. I was astounded and asked her why. She told me “We don’t have a future together. You want to retire and move here. Who wants to live in a poor country?” I responded that I can move to the Philippines and make a difference for at least some of the people here. You can live in your rich country and pretend this world does not exist. I want to make a difference.


I guess in my own small way I have. I have hired two domestic helpers and a driver that might otherwise be unemployed. I support a small orphanage where I live. And I’ve helped out some other folks in need on occasion. That’s a good feeling.


I’ll take the life I’m building here over a boring and vanilla lifestyle in the USA any day. It is far from perfect but I have no regrets.

Now I reckon I’ll reward myself with a nice dinner. I’m thinking the Arizona resort might just be the ticket. Peace out!

2 thoughts on “Meatball massacre

  1. Rule #1 of stovetop cooking: NEVER WALK AWAY FROM A POT OR PAN ON THE RANGE.

    I was going to suggest using your oven if it has a timer, then I remembered that there was a power outage. If you have kindling around the house, plus some decent cast-iron pots, you can create a “bain marie” (or double boiler) over a fire to slow-cook your meatballs. Or just use your grill instead of a campfire. (Is it a gas or charcoal grill? I forget.)

    You might also consider investing in two or three small, portable gas ranges—the kind that use little cans of gas, like the ones I use here in Korea. The ranges are usually cheap; the butane cans are super-cheap, even in Korea.

    Frozen, pre-made meatballs can be heated through (medium to med-high heat) on a frying pan in a matter of minutes; heat ’em through that way, or dump in sauce and heat everything through (that takes a bit longer). Just don’t ever walk away.

    You can kind-of walk away when you’re boiling water or salted water, but water with pasta in it needs to be stirred every few minutes to keep the pasta from sticking to itself or to the bottom of the pot. Pasta water is also starchy, so another reason not to walk away is that, if starchy water boils over, the spilled water will evaporate, leaving the dried starch to burn on your trivet, or on whichever part of your stove is close to the flame.

    Get good with fire by practicing hiking plus cooking on the trail. You can learn a lot of the commonsense stuff by yourself, without reading a book, because Mother Nature will teach you instantaneously should you make a mistake out in the woods. Ingredients for a good fire will be (1) tinder, like cotton balls, newspaper, dead pine needles, or super-thin wood shavings; (2) kindling, like thin twigs; and (3) actual fuel in the form of thick branches, split logs, etc. Creeksides will often have plenty of stones, and maybe some bare ground, on which to build a small fire pit. I did this a lot when I lived in Switzerland, and it’s a skill I’m glad I now possess. One thing you learn quickly is that wind is your enemy when you’re first starting a fire, but moderate wind is your friend once the fire is lit. Light your fires either with a lighter or with some flint and steel. This should be obvious, but don’t try cooking with fire during high winds, especially if there’s a lot of dry deadfall on the ground.

    Go practice darts.

  2. Yep, I learned Rule #1 the hard way! In retrospect the oven was a much better option (it’s a gas oven, wouldn’t have been a problem after manually lighting it). And could have done the frying pan thing I suppose. Should have just put everything in the fridge and waited until I was ready to cook dinner (this was still like 10 a.m.) Ah well, live and learn. Thanks for the tips!

    Yeah, camp cooking is a whole other animal for sure. Back in the day I had me a nice two burner Coleman stove. These days I’d probably go “camping” in an RV.

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