My room came with a free breakfast, but the omelet option didn’t include meat, so I ordered a side of bacon. I also ordered a Coke Zero. When it came time to pay up, the waiter handed me a bill for the bacon, one for the Coke, and one for a scoop of ice cream and a beer. He told me I had come in the night before, had the ice cream and beer, then left without paying. “You were very drunk, sir.” he stated matter-of-factly. After he mentioned it, I vaguely recalled having a nightcap. And yes, after three beer stops on the Hash trail (two beers at each) then the Hash circle and aftermath, I was more toasted than usual. Plus, I was drinking San Miguel Lights with 5% alcohol (versus the 3% in Zero).
Commenter Kevin asked if I thought it was a worthwhile trip overall. It’s good to get away from the day-to-day routines that make up my life, and as I mentioned, I enjoyed the Hash trail very much. La Union has a totally different vibe than Barretto, and I kind of like it. I could see myself living there if I ever felt the need to break away and change my life. I had pictures in yesterday’s post of that blue house on the beach next to the abandoned open-air bar, and they really fired up my imagination about the things I could do with what’s left of my life. Not likely, of course, but it is good to have options.
Another aspect of this trip was having time to reflect on how much I wish I had someone to share my life with. Seeing all the happy Hash couples reminded me of how much I used to enjoy having a partner to Hash with. I guess I should be used to eating and sleeping alone by now, but that doesn’t stop me from thinking about how nice it would be to have a woman by my side on this journey of mine. And no, I haven’t given up on Swan; it is just a sad fact that she has no interest in doing the things I enjoy.
I arrived back home around 3:30, unpacked, and then headed back into town for the Sunday feeding at Hideaway.
I wasn’t sure where, if anywhere, I wanted to go next. I was tired and feeling shitty, but I didn’t have change for a trike, so I wound up at the Green Room for a nightcap and to break a thousand peso note. My waitress gave me a nice back rub, and I rewarded her efforts with a lady drink. Then, I was on my way home before 7:30.
I had a pretty rough night with a cough and body aches. I was up before the moon went down.
It’s Hash Monday, and I’m on the fence. My back hurts, and I’m in a low energy mode. My plan at the moment is to walk out to the start of the trail (about 3K up the National Highway towards Olongapo) and see if I feel like a hill climb when I get there. If not, I’ll just keep it flat and walk back to the On-Home at the VFW.
Oh yeah, I did my weekly weigh-in this morning. 245.6, down nine pounds from last week.
Facebook memories carried me back to my last Halloween in Itaewon.
re: breffus
That looked to be a mighty fine breakfast.
re: being too drunk to remember
Careful. Drinking too much is never a good thing, and the older you get, the more likely people are to try to take advantage of you. To paraphrase Dean Wormer from “Animal House”: old, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life.
By, the way, that $50,000 inheritance we discussed… I’m sure you remember it…
re: Hash and La Union
I’m glad it was a good Hash, and it’s good to contemplate other life-possibilities. Is there a local version of Dr. Jo, though?
re: Tom Hardy quote
While I’m not a misanthrope (yet), I can do without most people. I’m not needy for company, but some folks are attracted to others like moths to a flame. Good for them, I guess; there are benefits to togetherness that we loners will never know. But I prefer not being too dependent on others. It limits freedom.
re: feeling shitty
Hell of thing to happen right when you get back home. Get well soon!
re: weight
Congrats, but just so we’re clear, that’s mostly water weight. Any diet takes off 10 pounds in the first week. Keep the 10 pounds off and keep losing, and that weight will be the fat.
Whoops:
hell of *a* thing
D’oh.
From time to time I think you’re close to connecting the dots.
While lamenting the fact that you don’t have anyone to share your bed and your hobbies, and that you’ve gotten used to sleeping alone and waking up alone.
A few paragraphs down and there’s a woman who’s neither your wife nor girlfriend just rubbing your back. She’s not a massage therapist and this was not a paid session with any significant medical benefits for your back pain.
You have made peace with living in the gray zone…not really acting like a committed boyfriend, but not acting like a single guy on the prowl either. It’s a large area that most people lean on one side or the other, but you manage to criss-cross its entire breadth in a single day. That takes practice and dedication 👏 And at this stage I think it’s so intertwined with your daily life and weekly habits that there’s no incentive to change.
And to connect the dots as to why seeing the happy couples on the hash made you wonder why it couldn’t be you ; the simple answer is you don’t want to and you certainly aren’t prepared for that.
It’s normal to wish for a better life, to covet what others have. But the way your life is structured, your thoughts habits hobbies interests philosophy…. this is the optimal outcome. I think you’d agree that there is not much worse than doing whatever you want at any time, and spending your time drinking beer by the sea.
Live on and prosper
Hi John,
Very sad to see you so glum. Remember please that just because no women like you doesn’t mean you are pathetic or a loser, it means they have poor taste! Keep on rocking on and I’m sure some woman will find her way into your lap without trying to steal your dollars.
Hang in there. We’re all rooting for you.
Robert, thank you for the encouraging words! I’ll be fine. Every day is a blessing, and everything can change. I’m going to enjoy the ride.
James, about the woman rubbing my back–that’s her job. There was nothing flirtatious or sexual about it. I was stiff and sore and it felt good and was relaxing. I just don’t see why that should be seen as something sinister.
You might be right about the “gray area” being my comfort zone. I may not like all aspects of my lifestyle, but it could always be worse, and it appears I’m unwilling to accept the risks that come with change. I haven’t totally given up hope that it could happen, but in the meantime, I’ll embrace the things I have and be thankful.
Thanks for the feedback and support.
Kev, yeah, that wasn’t a normal night of drinking for me–the beer was strong, and hours were long. I’ll try to do better at maintaining some cognitive functioning. I’ll try to manage being “old and stupid” without being drunk! Yes, I remember the $50,000 inheritance you promised, but I’m in no hurry to collect it! 🙂
Yes, there is something to be said for having the freedom to do what you want whenever you want with whomever you want. I get that. I’d just like to meet a woman who wants to do whatever I want whenever I want to do it. It’s good to have a dream!
I’m not sure what’s going on with my back; I’ve just started experiencing stabbing pain at the base of my spine. I’ve got a consult with Dr. Jo coming up. For now, it is manageable with Tylenol.
As to the weight, I figured I hadn’t lost much fat because my shorts are as tight as ever. At least the needle is moving in the right direction; I’ve just got to keep it that way. So far, so good.
John, hope things work out with Swan, but the “it is just a sad fact that she has no interest in doing the things I enjoy.” quote doesn’t bode well. What DOES she like to do? Are they things that you enjoy doing, or could find yourself enjoying those things in the future?
The relationship, such as it is, doesn’t even seem one sided at this point. Seems pretty no-sided. I realize that she is probably still grieving to some extent, but has it ever been clarified what the live in helper/roommate really entails? If you decide to move on, what does that mean for her? Seems like things could get pretty awkward pretty quick.
Good luck as you navigate things.
Brian, Swan is a sweet woman, kind and caring. While I appreciate that, my selfish nature wants more. She has made it clear that she has zero interest in joining me at the Hash or on my hikes. Even if I convinced her to come, there would be no Joy for me knowing that in her heart, she didn’t want to be there. Swan is a homebody and keeps busy with doing things around the house. She likes to visit her family, who live in the town next to Barretto, and she also does part-time tutoring. She watches Netflix at night.
Yes, she is still grieving and is shy about us being seen as a couple. I’m not sure she would stay here if I changed the nature of the relationship to being solely an employee. Anyway, I’m going to give it more time and see what happens. It certainly has been nice having her around to nurse me during this bout of poor health.