As soon as I took my seat in front of Dr. Jo, she saw my problem. Apparently, there is a mini-epidemic of eye infections taking place in our little town. Dr. Jo told me she had seen several other patients suffering from my condition. She also told me she visited a pharmacy nearby to advise they were dispensing the wrong form of eye drops to deal with the outbreak. Anyway, I received my anti-biotic drops directly from her, and she advised I should be fully recovered in three or four days. Today my eyes are better than they were yesterday, but now I’m experiencing some blurred vision issues. Hopefully, this, too, shall pass.
It was too early to go to the Hash On-Home venue, so I popped into Mango’s for a late lunch.
After my meal, it was time to head to Johansson’s for the Hash.
Along the way, I encountered a vendor selling sunglasses. Hmm, I was a little worried about my scary-looking eyes and wanted to avoid the urge to rub them and potentially spread whatever it was that ailed them, so I bought a pair.
When I arrived On-Home, only the Hares were there. I confessed to my shortcutting, having only walked the portion from Alta Vista, less than 1K. Leech My Nuggets, always the fastest among the runners, arrived a few minutes after I did. And then the beer started flowing.
After completing the circle, I made my way up the highway to our traditional post-Hash venue; It Doesn’t Matter. I didn’t need any more beer, but I drank some anyway. Then I caught a trike for home, and things got a little weird.
In rainy weather, the trikes have a covering and door in place to keep the riders dry. That’s all well and good, except you can’t see a damn thing. So, we pass through the gate at Alta Vista, and I tell the driver (one of the few who doesn’t know me), “Take the road to the right, and go all the way up to the top.” Now, shame on me for being drunk, but I couldn’t see that he took the road to the left, and for whatever reason, I didn’t get a sense that we were not heading in the proper direction. When he pulled over and stopped, I sensed the right amount of time had elapsed and got out. I knew immediately that he had missed my house, but I assumed he was in the right vicinity, and I figured I could walk from there. I paid the fare, and the trike departed. Only then did I realize I was fucked.
It was pitch black, lightly raining, and I was pissed (both angry and inebriated). Even with my phone’s flashlight, I couldn’t see shit as I walked. I was cussing out loud every step of the way. In the dark, I missed the first turn-up, so I had to continue almost all the way to the gate. Once there, I was faced with a long uphill climb or a shorter flat walk to the highway, where I could catch another trike. I took the easier option.
In five years here, that trike ride was one of the dumbest things I’ve done. Oh well, live and learn, and I survived.
As ridiculous as wearing sunglasses indoors on a rainy day may appear, those zombie-like red eyes looked worse.
The glasses hilariously accentuate those Brezhnev eyebrows, though. Ah—there’s your next Halloween costume! Get a makeup expert to give you a unibrow, then go to parties as Leonid Brezhnev! Man, I ought to be charging money for the awesome advice I give.
Feeling young sitting next to the Fucking Old Man.
In that picture, the lady on the far right makes me think of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. What’s AOC doing in your part of the world?
It was pitch black, lightly raining, and I was pissed (both angry and inebriated). Even with my phone’s flashlight, I couldn’t see shit as I walked. I was cussing out loud every step of the way. In the dark, I missed the first turn-up, so I had to continue almost all the way to the gate.
Doesn’t your phone have some kind of real-time navigation feature? Something to guide you step by step to your place?
And I was only recently moralizing about getting drunk.
As you say, though, you survived. Here’s hoping your eyes are better in a few days.
I bet only a handful of people here remember Brezhnev, so that costume idea probably wouldn’t work. Any other low-brow comedy ideas?
AOC would have to be stupid to come here. Oh, wait. Actually, that is Leaking Pussy in the photo.
If my phone has such a navigation app, I don’t know how to access it, especially in the dark when I’m drunk. I shouldn’t need it in my own damn neighborhood, though.
Yes, it’s a good thing I wasn’t driving. As much as I’m a fan of drinking, people who drink and drive scare the fuck out of me. Nothing good will come of it. At least only the idiot in your video got killed.