Or so it seems. A bargirl sitting next to me on the floating bar asked me, “how’s life?”. I gave her my standard response of “always good”, but it did get me briefly thinking about my life. One could say that it is empty and devoid of meaning and purpose, I suppose. Hell, just perusing my posts here at LTG would provide ample support for that thesis. On the other hand, perhaps meaning and purpose are overrated. I did my 35 years as a productive member of society (alright, I exaggerate. I worked for the government. But, still…) and these days I choose to live a simple life doing things that please me. Or at least fill the hours. So what if I spend my retirement as a walkaholic/dartaholic/alcoholic? It may not be the life I imagined, but it is the one I’ve got. I choose to be satisfied and live it one day at a time,
Here’s another perspective on the subject:
Anyway, I didn’t waste much time on pointless contemplation. After a couple of beers on the floating bar, I hoofed it over to Cheap Charlies and satiated the thirst of some bargirls there. Despite being late in the afternoon on a Sunday, there were enough customers around to make my preferred seating unavailable. When the hunger pangs struck, I got to thinking about the pork chop dinner at Mango’s. So I headed on over.
I was pleased to see my favorite beachside perch was unoccupied. I quickly discovered why–there were these gnat-like bugs swarming all around the seating area. No thank you! I stopped by the manager’s office on the way out and advised her of the situation, suggesting she get a large fan to blow those pests back on the beach. Still hungry, I went next door to Palm Tree and was disappointed to find their entire outdoor seating area was occupied. Not sure if it was a private party or what, but I’ve never seen that kind of crowd there.
Running out of options on this side of town, I crossed the street and visited The Pub. They don’t have outdoor seating at all, so I did my usual thing and ordered my food to go.
Speaking of food, I came across this on one of my internet surfing trips and found it funny:
In other news, a five-year-old Filipino child drowned at the beach the other day. Not surprising really, I’ve seen these young kids playing unsupervised in the water quite often and wondered what the parents were thinking in allowing their child to be in danger. Still, it was sad to hear. The authorities sprang into action after the incident though:
While we are on the subject of COVID, I heard from Max, one of the folks who rode in the car with me to Angeles City last month. He was supposed to fly home to the Netherlands this week, but tested positive for COVID and was not allowed to travel. Makes me wonder now if the illness I experienced may have been COVID after all. Not that it matters, I’m feeling fine now.
So, it’s Hash Monday today. The Fucking Old Man is the Hare. He is in his 80s, so I anticipate a trail I can actually do without deviation. I noticed on the dog walk this morning that part of the trail passes through Alta Vista. Anyway, I’ll have something more or less interesting to post about tomorrow.
Until then…
The Korean on that spice-rating chart isn’t an exact translation of the English, but it conveys roughly the same idea, albeit in a jokey, Korean-style way. I just checked with my Korean coworker, and here’s roughly what the Korean says:
하수 (hasu) = inferior person, untouchable caste
평민 (pyeongmin) = close to a regular person
중수 (joongsu) = regular person
고수 (gosu) = expert, master
지존 (jijon) = lofty, respectable person
초인 (cho-in) = some kind of superman
겁 (geop) = fear, terror
So the English is conveying a person’s reaction to the spiciness, but the Korean is talking about what kind of person can endure each level of spiciness (except for Level 7, which appears to be a reaction, like in the English rendering).
As for whether your life has meaning or purpose… it can be perfectly meaningful to enjoy every moment deeply. No Zennist would contradict you. If you’re ever in doubt as to whether life, as you live it, is worth living, just ask yourself whether you’d be better off killing yourself right at this moment. The contemplation of suicide has its uses, and not just for the suicidal.
I recall doing a thought experiment about suicide once, and then I saw the same thoughts expressed online by someone else. My thought was that, when someone claims that life is empty and he wants to kill himself, just grab him and thrust his head into a bucket of water, holding him down for as long as you can. It’s almost inevitable that the supposedly suicidal person will thrash and struggle to escape your grip because, at the cellular level, our most basic instinct is to live. Now, the person might escape your grip and claim he still wants to die, but on his own terms. That doesn’t invalidate the insight that he struggled and resisted when confronted with death. Just as any animal will.
None of this is to imply that I think you’re suicidal. If anything, your post argues or implies that you, at least, see yourself as leading a fairly fulfilling life right now. My point, though, is that there’s an easily available thought experiment you can perform any moment you think your life is meaningless or purposeless, i.e., that there’s little reason to go on living, or that there’s little difference between life and death. Just think about what value there might be in suicide, and you’ll have your answer as to whether your life has meaning, value, and all the rest.
Sorry if all that sounds morbid, but I mean it in a life-affirming way.
Of course, if you really do want to kill yourself, just order something from that Korean place at Level 7 spiciness.
HaHa! Thanks for the translation and explanations. Sounds like one of those same but different situations. Are you strong enough to eat this? That seems to be the common question being asked.
Yeah, I’ve been in the dark place before; thankfully, I am nowhere near that mindset now. Really my post was just self-reflection on whether I was wasting what remains of my life. The conclusion I reached was that I am not.
Interesting insights on suicide though, thanks for sharing. There have been a couple of times many years ago when I seriously considered that path to be an option. When I look back now and see all that I would have missed, good and bad, I know what a terrible mistake suicide would have been. As long as you are alive, you are still in the game. Life is not about the final destination, it’s about getting there. Enjoy the ride!
Kevin, interesting comments. Actually, a pretty good way of thinking about it.
Heard a talk (might have been a TED talk) from a guy who had contemplated suicide. I can’t remember the exact quote but it was something like, “do you really want to die, or do you just want to change the way you are living.” Basically, suicide is a permanent solution to an oftentimes temporary problem.
Brian, yep, I agree with that sentiment on dying versus changing. I think sometimes your mind is just so fucked up you can’t see an avenue to change. The other thing about suicide is that it is a very selfish thing to do…your pain doesn’t go away when you kill yourself, it is just passed on to those you leave behind.