A diamond of a morning Waked me an hour too soon; Dawn had taken in the stars And left the faint white moon. O white moon, you are lonely, It is the same with me, But we have the world to roam over, Only the lonely are free. –Sara Teasdale
I’d call last night’s dinner for two a success, at least by my admittedly low standards. I had no expectations, so I couldn’t be disappointed. That’s just the way I roll these days.
We had agreed to meet at Hops & Brews at six, but I arrived a little after five. Hey, I just wanted to get a couple of beers in make sure we had a nice table to sit at. Here are some views from the one I chose:
Once again, I was greeted by name by several of the waitresses. The manager also came by for a fist bump, and later the owner and I had a brief chat. They all certainly make you feel welcome here; I’ll grant them that.
I sent Lydell a message around 5:30 telling her I had arrived early, and she asked if she could join now. Of course! I was glad she was anxious to start our date too.
We had some beer and ordered our food–spaghetti bolognese for her, calamari and Yom tom soup for me. Sorry, Lydell had all my attention, and I forgot to take a photo of our meals.
Just some small talk over dinner, no great revelations or professions of undying love (thank God I kept those thoughts to myself!). I’m kidding, of course. I’m still in getting to know her mode, and I’m intentionally taking things slow. She did show me some pictures of her kids (a four-year-old daughter and a two-year-old son), and they looked cute and happy. They stay with her mother in Subic-town when she is working.
About the time we were done eating, an acoustic duo started playing their guitars and singing. Old songs I knew the words to and at a volume that didn’t deter table talk. A nice touch!
Anyway, I asked Lydell if she had any post-dinner plans, and she told me she was going back to work. I asked if she wanted to join me for an after-dinner drink at Voodoo (I had a coupon, and it was right around the corner), and she agreed. We did our drinks, chatted with one of the dancers there (I had a free lady drink coupon, too), then said our goodnights.
Lydell wasn’t able to join today’s hike, but I’ll see her later this evening at Snackbar. It’s the owner Paula’s birthday, and they are having a special event in her honor.
So, that’s the story of my first date with Lydell. It seems like she’ll be interested in a follow-up get-together too. Maybe I’ll cook for her next time. We’ll see.
As much as I always lament my lonely life, the reality is I’m not all that eager to let it go. As the Teasdale poem I posted above says, only the lonely are free. Still, it was nice to share a meal for a change, so I’ll just try and keep thinking with my big head and see what happens next.
Wish me luck!
It’s been said many times before, but being alone isn’t the same as being lonely. I’d say that only the loners are free: if you’re lonely, that means you’re still suffering from attachment to the idea of being with someone. Let go of that attachment, and you’re truly free.
To be fair, though, I think it’s possible to find freedom in couplehood. To the extent that you find a partner who makes you want to be a better person, someone whose growth you feel invested in, someone who enhances your existence and makes you more than you were, then yeah, a certain kind of freedom is possible.
Anyway, I’m glad the date went well. Here’s to many more. Take it slow; no need to boink on the third date. That’s how the poor girl got in trouble to begin with. And you with your lungs these days… sex is turning into Russian Roulette for you. Keep eros and thanatos as far apart as possible.
Which reminds me: have you talked to the docs about this particular problem?
Hey John,
I’m still reading just not been commenting but today a good reason to do so…what a small world it is, even the poor picture of the band i was 90% sure that the guitarist on the right is my good friend Raymond who played in the bar my wife and I owned here in Shanghai for almost 8 years.
Just to be sure i checked with him and i was correct.
He is a top man who struggled through the Covid shutdown with no gigs and an amazing guitar player regularly winning awards in Shanghai amongst the other filipino bands.
Be sure to have a chat with him when you get the chance, he has some great stories and if i remember correctly kids from every continent except Antartica!!
All the best
Thirsty
Great to hear from you, Thirsty. That is truly an amazing coincidence, and I’m also impressed you could recognize Raymond in that photo. He is a wonderful musician and I will definitely introduce myself next time I see him.
Hope all is well with you and the family.
Kev, yeah, I’ve got some work to do yet to get there. I’ve grown accustomed to my solitary life, but I still long for the life I imagined would be possible with a loving woman by my side. I realize that may never happen, but I’m not ready to give up the dream. I do take comfort in reminding myself that it is better to be alone than with the wrong one, so I will be proceeding with caution.
It is a worrisome aspect of coitus, knowing it might kill me, but then again, what a way to go! I I probably need to do another consult with the doc, although when I was first diagnosed with COPD, I was told there was no cure, best I could hope for was that it doesn’t get worse.
Appears like Hops & Brews has the recipe for success. As long as the food quality and customer service remains good, seems like a place to add to your regular rotation. I guess the downside is that there is not a view over the town if you want to just sit and have a beer? (Though sitting and listening to some acoustic music is a nice way to pass the time)
Yes, it is a nice venue, and I think it’s going to be a success. I enjoy sitting outside when I drink, and although there is no view, the huge TV screens showing landscapes is a nice touch. The music is good too. Not sure if you saw the comment, but a friend of mine in China knows one of the singers. Talk about a small world!