Generously ignorant

Greetings once again from the land where ignorance abounds! No wonder I’m such a good fit here.

We are now under “low risk modified general community quarantine”. I think perhaps this is the lowest possible level above normal and rumor has it things will never be normal again. Practically speaking, everything has remained pretty much as it was. A 9 p.m. curfew is probably the biggest inconvenience. Restaurants and bars have been allowed to reopen at 50% capacity. Waitresses must wear face shields and masks. The weirdest thing to me has been an edict from the geniuses at city hall that outside dining and drinking are not allowed. So, all the bars and restaurants that had open-air tables have had to remove them. Yeah, you heard that right–they want to control the spread of the virus by forcing everyone indoors to share the same air. The exact opposite of what the USA has done, only allowing restaurants to serve diners outside. Friends who ride motor scooters are also pissed at a rule that doesn’t allow back riders. As one puts it: “It’s okay to sleep with my girlfriend but I can’t give her a ride home in the morning.” I’m not sure what is really going on but it ain’t got nothing to do with keeping people safe. I suspect it is just ignorant people exercising newly gained power and authority ignorantly.

I’ve recently come to question my own ignorance when it comes to my gift-giving. Most of the time it works out fine, even if in a couple of instances I may have been suckered into providing help to someone not truly in need. Most of the time the assistance isn’t huge, amounting to less than $100. I usually don’t want or expect anything in return, although I did indulge that Wet Spot dancer in a little quid pro quo. That proved to be a big mistake as she constantly harrassed me for money for all kinds of “emergencies” afterward. Yep, classic bargirl scammer stuff. I eventually had to totally block her from all contact. I did see her at Wet Spot when they reopened last week–going out the door with a paying customer for a night of debauchery. Good to see her back at work!

Then there is the waitress at a certain beachside bar I’ve been known to frequent. We got to be acquainted and I also met her husband and father of her NINE kids. So, we are not really friends but she’s someone I know and have had conversations with over a period of time. A few weeks back she had a worried look about her and I asked her what was wrong. She said that school was going to be starting remotely and that she needed some Ipad-like devices so the kids could do their lessons. I asked how much that would cost and she told me 7000 pesos ($140). Hmm. Well, I have a soft spot for the kiddies, and helping them continue getting an education during these difficult times seemed like a worthy cause. So the next day (I don’t carry that much cash around) I brought her the needed money. She was ecstatic and offered to provide me proof of purchase. I told her that wasn’t necessary. She asked if she could do my laundry or clean my house and I told her I already have people for that. The devil on my shoulder was whispering in my ear but I ignored him–she’s a married woman and I don’t need that kind of trouble! Anyway, it was a feel-good moment for me and I was glad I could help.

Last night this same waitress began sending me messages. I wasn’t sure where she got my phone number at first, then realized it must have been from the tracking roster we are required to complete as part of the quarantine rules. Anyway, she eventually got around to telling me about some medical issues she has encountered and that the treatment she needs will cost 5000 pesos that she doesn’t have because she missed time from work due to illness. I have no reason to question the veracity of her story, but I was taken aback regardless. She’s a waitress at a place I like to drink, nothing more. I helped her out once but that doesn’t make me responsible to provide for her medical care or anything else. I found it all very off-putting. I wrote back that I was sorry to hear about her trouble, wished her a speedy recovery, and told her I was unable to assist financially. And now I’m going to need to find a new place to drink I guess. I really don’t like being tagged as a sucker and that’s how I feel. And yes, it’s my own damn fault.

Have I learned my lesson? Not if buying a $400 laptop for an acquaintance is any indication. I will save that story for another day. It’s still possible it will have a happy ending. I do seem to be generously ignorant although I’m not feeling the bliss. My intentions are good but perhaps I’m going about it wrong. I’ll figure it out eventually I suppose.

Ah okay, I feel better now. A good pun will cure just about anything.

Buddy ran into his friend Buday on our walk this morning. Haven’t seen her around the ‘hood for weeks and I was actually a little worried about her. I’m hoping someone has adopted her. She looked well-fed or maybe she’s pregnant. Again.

Buddy’s got a girlfriend!

Here’s a couple of shots from yesterday’s hike that Scott posted:

Fisherkids…
One of them caught a bag of cookies. I told her to share though!
Kids in a creek. They scored some cookies too.
Home is where the heart is.

And that’s about it from here for now. I think it is important to keep things in perspective though. I mean, I wear the mask, not because I think it helps but because it’s the law of the land and I’m a guest in this country. But that said, if you think of wearing the mask as practice it takes on a whole new meaning.

Sounds right.

4 thoughts on “Generously ignorant

  1. Your charitable efforts are well-intended, without a doubt, but if you match those efforts up against the “fish” proverb (“Give a man a fish, and you’ve fed him for a day; teach a man to fish, and you’ve fed him for life”), you can see how your kind gestures might end up turning sour. Rule #1: don’t a be sucker when women come a-pleading.

    What if you gave of your time and effort in other ways? I don’t know what there is to do, charity-wise, in the Philippines. I’d recommend becoming an English teacher, but that’s just my Korean bias showing: Filipinos already speak some degree of English, so the EFL market is probably pretty small. Can you get involved in helping to build new houses? Could you volunteer to teach business- or personnel- or management-related courses at local colleges? I’m sure the local schools would be delighted to have someone knowledgeable on their side, doing pro bono work. (Or, if you hate working for free, maybe you could negotiate a modest under-the-table salary for your efforts.)

    The point is to help people in a way that’s immediately tangible and not easily corruptible by all the shysters out there. Poverty gives rise to pity among those with means, but poverty also breeds malicious cleverness among the poor, which is, alas, a good fit for generous ignorance. You don’t want to get caught up in that vortex.

    I’ll confess something: I have this romantic fantasy that involves going around Korea with a trusty axe and volunteering to spend a whole weekend somewhere in the boonies, just chopping wood. (One of the few things I can be thankful to my dad for is teaching me how to chop wood.) I have no idea how to go about realizing this fantasy, but maybe I’ll start asking around. You know—put my money where my mouth is so that I’m not merely dispensing advice that I myself am unwilling to take.

  2. Thanks for the thoughtful comment, Kevin.

    Yeah, I agree true charity is more about giving of yourself than opening your wallet. There probably are some organizations here that need volunteers, although most just seem to need/want donations.

    When I created my budget here I included funds for charity work. I used to contribute to an orphanage in Olongapo but became convinced the money wasn’t being used for the kids. So I decided to find ways to reach out to people in need directly. Admittedly, that’s been a hit or miss proposition.

    I’m down with the “teaching a man to fish” proverb and that really is the ultimate goal. I’d like to find a worthy student to directly sponsor for post-secondary education as opposed to contributing to a scholarship fund. Making a significant difference in a person’s life would be such a beautiful thing to see and do. Perhaps I’d contribute some tutoring and old man advice as part of the package. I actually had a high school student in mind a few months ago but then got the news from the mother that her 17-year-old daughter was now pregnant. And so the cycle of poverty continues in that family.

    In the meantime, this pandemic bullshit has lots of people just trying to find ways to eat. That’s where most of my budget has been going of late. Every little bit helps I suppose, but it seems once you are tagged as a person who gives away money the requests never stop.

    Picturing you out in Podunk, Korea chopping wood made me smile. Thanks for that! 🙂

  3. you should have at least agreed to the proof of purchase or bought it yourself. Never give cash man.

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