Fucking insane and stupid crap occurring.

Today I was supposed to go to San Fernando in the neighboring province of Pampanga to shop for a new Fitbit. Shortly before my driver (yeah, I have a driver, get over it) was scheduled to pick me up I got a message that my future landlord was on his way from Manila. Thanks for letting me know! So, I canceled my shopping and waited for the landlord’s arrival. He got here at one o’clock.

The purpose of this impromptu visit was apparently to get the electricity and water turned on at the house, and put in my name of course. So, off we went. And went. The electric company main office is two cities over and the journey took almost 45 minutes. Did I mention it is rainy season in the Philippines? Well, it rained in torrents (a torrent is more than a bucket, right?) almost all day long. By far the heaviest rain I ever seen here. Which led to some flooding. The National Highway upon which we were traveling looked more like a river than a road. Made for slow going to be sure.

So, we arrive at the electric cooperative offices and it seemed that my landlord, Mr. Ocampo, was a familiar face. That was something of a relief. But then the trouble started. It seems the previous tenant left an outstanding bill to the tune of 23,000 pesos ($460) and the power company wouldn’t budge on signing me up until the arrears had been reconciled. And Mr. Ocampo was just as adamant that he was not paying for a bill he did not personally incur. So, the upshot as I understand it is that there is some paperwork in Manila that will be gathered to resolve the conflict and we will return and try again on Monday.

On the long return trip to my neck of the woods Mr. Ocampo told me the story of the previous tenant of my future house. It seems an American purchased the property in the name of his Filipina wife (the only way it can be done). Apparently they had a young daughter together. Anyway, the wife said she needed a driver and suggested they hire her “cousin” for the job. There is a basement room for live-in staff. Well, long story short, the husband finds out that the driver is banging his wife when he is not around. Except it turns out that the cousin wasn’t a cousin after all. He was the Filipina’s husband. The American of course bailed out and the house was foreclosed by Mr. Ocampo.

Well. Given my luck and history with women, perhaps I’ll be able to continue this house’s ill-fated traditions in matters of the heart. Although I hope that won’t be the case.

Anyway, I did get the water put in my name today and the repair crew has indicated that the house will be ready to occupy next Friday when I’m supposed to vacant my apartment. Hmm, methinks I’m going to see if I can get a one week extension here.

Second place finish in darts tonight. My partner was a sweet and cute 21 year old. Between matches she related the story of her previous boyfriend. He was 68. And now he’s dead. Maybe it was my imagination but I got the distinct impression she was hinting that I might make a suitable replacement. I guess she wants to see what it’s like with a younger man. Did I mention she is a hottie?

No. I’m not going to go there. It would be insanity. She’s not at all what I’m looking for.

But.

God help me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JywK_5bT8z0