There’s this guy. Name is Greg. Alright dude I suppose when he’s sober, but that is rarely the case. The more he drinks the louder and more obnoxious he becomes. It’s actually pretty annoying but I’ve chosen to ignore his unseemly behavior, deeming it none of my business since none of his rudeness has ever been directed towards me.
Until Tuesday night that is. And yes, sadly this is another case of the dreaded “darts drama”. Some people just can’t help themselves it seems. But it was especially disappointing in the case of Greg who is one of the top dart players in town. I’ve been actively trying to recapture some of my passion for the game, although for me I’m playing as a pastime, win or lose I try to keep it fun. Greg is pretty much the opposite, he gets mouthy and pissy if he is playing poorly.
I didn’t know Greg prior to moving here, although we did share time in Korea. He played in the Songtan league. We do have a mutual friend, a bar owner there named Vox. When I mentioned to Vox on Facebook that I met Greg, he sent me a message warning me that Greg was not to be trusted. Well, to me he is just another guy in the bar, and there are very few people in the bar that I would inherently trust. Some I like better than others, but trust is earned and I haven’t been here long enough to really trust anyone.
Anyway, Tuesday night we are playing in the semi-finals. Greg and his partner won the 501 leg, and we moved on to the cricket match. My first dart was a triple 20 to close, I threw the second dart at the 19 and missed, so went back up to the 20 for points. Greg then commenced to get all mouthy and said throwing points was “totally uncalled for”. Um, the game is called cricket points for a reason. Strategically, I made the smart throw. His rudely calling me out really pissed me off. After the game (which he won) I let him know in my loud voice how I felt. His lame excuse was that he had been “kidding”. Bullshit.
Anyway, Marissa tried to calm me down and then my pal Jerry came over and reminded me not to lower myself to Greg’s level. Yeah, that resonated so I let it go.
But thinking about it overnight I realized that I was devoting way too much time to darts and not really enjoying myself. Greg’s behavior was the catalyst to my realization that I should be finding better ways to fill the hours. So, I told my Wednesday dart league captain that this would be my last season. Greg is the captain of my Friday league team, and if last night is any indication he is not talking to me. Which suits me fine. I don’t want to let my Friday teammates down so I will play out the season if they need me. That’s up to Greg.
After the season I’m taking a break from darts. Oh I might play in an occasional tournament if the mood strikes me, but this five day a week routine is going to change. Probably time for me to focus on doing some local travel and exploring more of this country I call home. Also might be good for me to spend less time in Alley Cats bar.
Speaking of which, Marissa came out on her day off to watch me throw in league yesterday. When the match was finished, I told her I was hungry. She said she had already eaten. I finished my beer and said I needed to go eat. She told me, “you go, I’ll wait here”. Alrighty then, girlfriend. I paid my tab, said goodnight, and left the bar.
I was sitting at Cheap Charlies in a sour mood, drinking beers and waiting for my BLT sandwich to arrive. Marissa sent me a message asking “Are you mad?”. I responded along the lines of “why would I be mad? I said it hurts that my girlfriend couldn’t be bothered to spend time with me on her day off, preferring to sit alone at Alley Cats>” And then of course she got all defensive. We went back and forth for awhile, and she honestly just doesn’t get why it was a big deal to me. After I finished eating I went back to the bar to continue the discussion and hopefully find some resolution. She kept telling me to lower my voice, although I didn’t feel like I was being all that loud. Finally she insisted we go somewhere else to continue the conversation.
I did calm down, said my piece, tried to understand her side of it (I still don’t, you either want to be with me or you don’t. I shouldn’t have to ask, insist, or beg you to join me). Anyway, I don’t know where we go from here. This article says that “on-again, off-again relationships are more trouble than they’re worth”. I’m not sure that Marissa and I are technically on-again/off-again. She calls them fights. I’ve never technically broken up with her, although I’ve come close to doing so. Ultimately that may be where this goes unless she can miraculously figure out what it takes to satisfy my longing for a loving companion.
As if I didn’t have enough drama in my life, I came home Tuesday night to a message from Maria (my “friend” in Davao) telling me she was unfriending me in Facebook but that she was still my friend. What do you say to that? I said “goodbye Maria”.
The back story is that she has met a 71 year old retired Navy guy and that I somehow make him feel threatened. I’d chatted with him a couple of times on messenger, answering his questions about the the Subic area and assuring him that Maria is a good and honest woman. And then a few days ago I get this insane message from him ranting about how he knows I’m Maria’s fuck buddy and crazy ass shit like that. As I had told him, I haven’t even seen Maria in person for over two years.
Anyway, I shared that message with Maria and warned her that the guy had demonstrated that he was a jealous control freak, potentially abusive, and things were unlikely to end well. She indicated she had already figured all that out and that she had blocked all contact with him. I guess until she didn’t. He had recently insisted that she end her Facebook friendship with me and that is what she did.
I’m fine with it. Hell, anyone who doesn’t want to be friends with me, on Facebook or in real life, is more than welcome to walk away. Just like the women who professed to love me forever and ever. I’ve helped Maria out of several situations since we last met and she always called me her guardian angel. I guess she has a new angel now. I hope that works out for her, although I expect she is headed for trouble. Not my problem, that’s for sure.
Is that about enough drama for one week? I sure as hell hope so!
Dude, if you wanna meet quality people, you gotta go where the quality people are. Otherwise, your future is drama, drama, and more drama. Hang around a circle of emotionally retarded people, and you can expect to encounter some emotional retardation up close and personal. The problem, of course, is that it’s easy for a nerdy teetotaler like me to politely suggest swearing off bars. For you, bars are your scene, not to mention a deeply ingrained habit, so asking you to swear off bars is like asking me to stop overeating and start on the Keto Diet: not impossible, but pretty fucking close.
That said, the John McCrarey I know is several cuts above the schmucks one is likely to meet in bars. He’s a literate, principled guy who’s spent a lifetime in management (which means he knows something about judging the quality of his fellow human beings), has read The Lord of the Rings, and has an encyclopedic knowledge of song lyrics. When you finally find a venue that matches the content of your character, and you surround yourself with people bent on constant self-improvement (as opposed to wallowing, stagnation, and petty conflict), I expect your life will improve dramatically. It’s just a matter of budging the enormous boulder that is your current bar-centered mindset.
[By the way, no disrespect to the other good eggs who happen to like bars. I’m not implying that you’re completely surrounded by assholes—just mostly surrounded by them.]
Funny you should mention that article about on-again-off-again relationships. I had thought about sending you a link to it, but I didn’t want to come off as taunting, torturing, or otherwise increasing your suffering. These arrogant comments I leave are probably torture enough. Heh. As for Marissa… she still doesn’t seem worth it to me. More specifically, she’s not worthy of you. Aim low, and you’ll always find someone cheap and bangable. Aim high, and you’ll find someone real to fill the hole in your soul. It’s the id versus the superego: the superego wants maturity, wholesomeness, loyalty, care, faithfulness—all the virtues that can only manifest themselves over a long period of time. The id, meanwhile, wants a tight, moist little hole for the trouser snake to crawl into repeatedly until it pukes. Who will win, then? The id or the superego? Until that gets sorted out through the acquisition of deeper self-knowledge, nothing’s going to change.
Yeah, yeah—another psych-counselor comment utterly lacking in humility. You can tell me to fuck off. I can take it.
On the contrary, heartfelt and honest comments like yours are always welcome and beneficial. I know good advice when I see it. The hard part of course is learning to actually TAKE that advice. Hopefully I’m getting there.
Anyway, I can’t fault or disagree with what you say. Although I will never forego the bar scene, I’m going to strive for a bit more balance in my life for sure. I’m going to also attempt to keep a positive focus and outlook and hopefully I’ll encounter some worthy people to share this journey called life.
And by the way, it’s a little known fact that in addition to reading the LOTR trilogy (along with the Hobbit of course) several times, I had occasion to read the entire series OUT LOUD to the woman who would become wife #3. Good times!
Whoa. That’s an impressive feat.
Hi John, more than enough drama for one week.
Greg sounds like a real piece of work, the reason we play darts is to have a bit of fun competition. If the fun isn’t there I don’t see the point in continuing, we aren’t professional players so we don’t have to put up with it if we choose not to.
It was actually the drama that was going on in the Itaewon pool league and the team I played for that caused me to quit and take up darts instead!
Not too sure why you have decided to quit the Wednesday team if Greg is only in the Friday team? If Greg is the person sucking out the enjoyment don’t play with him but don’t let him stop you from pursuing a pastime you enjoy. But if you have lost all enjoyment for it I fully understand.
FWIW your tactics were spot on and I wouldn’t have had any complaints and would have played it the same way.
Maybe you should take up golf? it would suit your walking addiction and as far as I am aware vey cheap in PI with great courses.
Enjoy the weekend
Thirsty.
Thanks, Thirsty…it takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do….
Well, the Wednesday thing is more of a lifestyle change. League starts at 2:00 and finishes at 5:00. And you know how darts and drinking go together. So, once I’m finished with darts, I’m pretty much finished if you get my meaning. I just think I can do something more productive with those hours and save the drinking part for after dark.
And you are right, I won’t let Greg keep me from doing whatever the fuck I want to. He’s just no fun to be around.
Thirsty is a wise man with wise counsel.
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