Had a bit too much excitement whilst walking Buddy and Lucky this morning. I always stay in the neighborhood with the dogs because there are too many aggressive strays on the streets outside. There are a couple of assholes in the subdivision that let their dogs out, but all they do is bark. Usually I just pick up a rock and they turn tail and run away.

So today I’m walking and I see a dog up ahead, just standing there staring at us. As I approach he continues to stand motionless, no barking, just that stare. To be on the safe side, I cross to the street. But as I pass he comes charging in full attack mode. He was probably twice the size of Buddy. Buddy to his credit wasn’t taking any shit and got right back into it with the aggressor. I hollered and picked up a rock, yanked Buddy back on his leash, and chucked the rock at the fucker. He took off for home. Man, I was pissed.

I recognized the dog as the one who lives on the last house on this street. The dog has always been within the fenced yard and barks like crazy when I pass by. That’s natural and doesn’t bother me. Anyway, as I approached the house I saw the aggressor dog was in the yard but the gate was open. So I called out to the house and the female owner came out. I told her I had been attacked by her dog. She seemed surprised to hear that, but not for long. Because, you guessed it, that bastard attacked us again! She screamed and yelled at the dog to no avail. And the fight was much more brutal this time. Buddy and him are really going at it, I’m trying to pull Buddy back but of course that had no effect on the bully dog. The owner tried to come in between them, got tangled in the leash, and knocked to the ground. I started kicking her fucked up dog, he’d back off for a second then come back in. I must have kicked that bastard three times as hard as I could and he wouldn’t back off for long. After one kick, he did leave Buddy who was fighting back hard and then attacked poor little Lucky, who didn’t stand a chance. Some other people came out of the house and managed to chase the demon dog back into the yard.

Buddy had a couple of bite marks and Lucky was bleeding from one of his ears. The owner was on the ground in pain, apparently she had recently had back surgery. I almost felt sorry for her until she admitted she had intentionally let her dog out. “I didn’t expect anyone would be walking by” was her excuse. I told her I walk this way every other day and she had seen me do so. I asked her if her dog had his shots and she assured me that he did. The dog looks healthy and well-cared for so I tend to believe her. Both of mine have had rabies vaccinations so I trust they will be fine.

Hell of a way to start my morning though. Jesus.

This is political but I had to laugh:

And to cleanse your palate, a non-political joke I like:

An 85-year old man is having his annual checkup. The Doctor asks him how he is feeling.

“I’ve got an eighteen-year old bride who’s pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?”

The Doctor considers this for a moment, and then says, “Well, let me tell you a story. I know of a guy who’s an avid hunter. He never misses a season. But one day he’s in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. So he’s walking in the woods near a creek and suddenly spots a beaver in some brush in front of him! He raises up his umbrella, points it at the beaver and squeezed the handle. BAM !
The beaver drops dead in front of him.

“That’s impossible!”, says the old man in disbelief, “Someone else must have shot that beaver.”

The Doctor says, “My point exactly.”

That joke is especially apropos here in the PI where December/April romances are not uncommon. And yes, I see guys older than me raising up newborns. Not how I intend to spend my golden years, that’s for sure. Luckily I’ve been shooting blanks since I was 50.

Alright, I’ll leave y’all with a song I hadn’t even thought of for decades. I think it’s the only song I know that features a dogfight. Enjoy!

In the nick of time, a hero arose
A funny-looking dog with a big black nose
He flew into the sky to seek revenge
But the Baron shot him down –
“Curses, foiled again!”

Now, Snoopy had sworn that he’d get that man
So he asked the Great Pumpkin for a new battle plan
He challenged the German to a real dogfight
While the Baron was laughing, he got him in his sight

That bloody Red Baron was in a fix
He’d tried everything, but he’d run out of tricks
Snoopy fired once, and he fired twice
And that bloody Red Baron went spinning out of sight

Ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty or more
The bloody Red Baron was rollin’ up the score
Eighty men died tryin’ to end that spree
Of the bloody Red Baron of Germany