Anyone else remember that movie from 1977? My UFO encounters yesterday were of the Unexpected Freaky Occurrences type, which have heretofore been rather alien to me. I’ll tell the story of yesterday’s Hash and intertwine the bizarre events that took place chronologically.

The Hares were Almoranus and Vienna Sausage (Guenther), and I would have avoided their 10K mountain trail under the best of circumstances. Four of us planned an alternative route that would take us from Barretto High School to the end of Rizal Extension, through the hills on the My Bitch trail, then down through Alta Vista to the On-Home at Johansson’s. I figured on leaving the house at 1:45, walking to the highway to catch a trike to Rizal, and meeting up with the others at our agreed-upon 2:30 start time.

The first UFO appeared at 1:00. I heard the dogs barking out front and went to investigate. I was surprised to see Angie standing outside the gate. I had met Angie last year when she worked at Queen Victoria. She had expressed an interest in joining the Hash, and as is my custom, I agreed to sponsor her (i.e., pay the 300 peso entry). She brought a friend along the first time, and some money went missing (she blamed her friend). Anyway, Angie is a certified drama queen, a mother of six, and someone I never had the slightest interest in hooking up with (and regular readers know my standards are low). So, a few months ago, I had lent her some food money and later, she asked if I would sponsor her to join me at a Hash in Angeles. I told her no, that’s not going to happen. Now, this was after a night of drinking at the Hash, but her response of “I hate you!” was uncalled for, in my opinion. I paid my tab and left her sitting there at IDM. I noticed the next day that she had unfriended me on Facebook. She showed up the following week for the Hash, and I paid her entry but didn’t have anything else to do with her that night. She sent me a FB friend request that I have not accepted. It’s been a couple of months now, and I hadn’t seen or heard from her until she showed up at my new place. I’m not sure how she found where I live.

So, I asked Angie what she wanted and she responded she was looking for where the Hash would be. I told her the start of the trail was at Savers (at the far end of Barretto) and that I wouldn’t be doing that trail (and I also didn’t invite her to join the short trail). She asked me if I could give her 20 pesos for Jeepney fare to savers, and I did. Swan was standing there watching all this, but she seemed fine when I explained the situation after Angie departed.

When it came time for me to head out, there was a trike parked in front of my neighbor’s house, and the driver asked me if I wanted a ride. Well, I was going to catch a trike at the highway anyway, so I took it as a sign of God’s grace that I could ride all the way to our meet up.

Because I had triked all the way, I arrived early and had some time to kill.

At the appointed time, we headed up Rizal Extension. It’s about a 2K walk to where the My Bitch trail starts, and it is all uphill. I dislike that walk during the best of times, but after a sleepless night and with low energy, it was especially bad. About a third of the way up, I bailed. I just didn’t want to run out of gas somewhere up in the hills with no avenues for escape. As I made my way back down the road, I questioned my decision, but what was done was done.

Making my way towards Johansson’s on Jolo Street, I encountered my second UFO. As I passed a foreigner, he called out in a German accent, “You are M C, right?” I didn’t understand what he meant, so I said, no, my name is John. He said, yes, you are M C…I read your blog. Okay, well, I’ve never been called that, but it’s always nice to meet a reader. Or should I say, almost always. I stuck out my hand to offer a handshake, and he started telling me what a horrible person I was for destroying his girl’s business and costing her “millions.” I’m thinking, what the fuck are you talking about? It turns out his girl ran the short-lived Finger Monkeys bar. I gave it a good review and ranking at the time. A few months later, after Joy had quit in a salary dispute, I mentioned that I thought she had mistreated her employees and that I would no longer patronize the bar. No big deal; I’m just one person voting with my feet. And, of course, what put Finger Monkey out of business was his gal getting arrested for hiring an underage girl as a waitress. His gal spent some time in jail for that but was recently released. And for the record, I thought that it was an unjust arrest and she didn’t deserve to be incarcerated. I don’t recall blogging about it, but I would not have said anything negative because I thought she was innocent (the employee had apparently provided a false ID). But the man on the street was growing increasingly agitated and saying I was responsible for what happened. I told him I had very few local readers, but he didn’t want to hear that saying that I could be held accountable for my words. Alrighty then, that was over two years ago, and if stating my opinion can get me in trouble, so be it. This kind of confrontation was the first of its kind in eighteen years of blogging.

That long ass Hares trail kept even the hardiest and fastest Hasher up in the hills much longer than usual. As it was near dusk, I asked some of the late arrivals if they had seen Angie at the start. Yes, she was on the trail. I admit to being a bit worried about her because she is relatively inexperienced at the Hash, and it would be easy to lose the trail. She finally made it back as one of the last arrivals. To her credit, she did the whole damn trail.

As I was preparing to leave at the end of the Hash, Angie asked if she could “borrow” 300 pesos and insisted she would pay me back soon. Yeah, right. I “lent” it to her, figuring it was a cheap way never to have to entertain a money request from her in the future. And 300 pesos is less than what I pay for two lady drinks.

I didn’t do the usual after-Hash gathering at IDM–I didn’t want to walk that far out of my way. Instead, I opted for Snackbar, conveniently located on the highway at Baloy Road. Swan had been out with a friend on Baloy, so I messaged her that we could meet at Snackbar on her way home if she wanted. She responded that she didn’t want to drink but could pick me up on her way home. I said my girlfriend wouldn’t like that. That joke response resulted in my third UFO of the day.

When I got home about an hour later, Swan wasn’t there. I went to bed and woke up a couple of hours later. Her side of the bed was empty. I looked into the living room, and she was watching TV on the couch. She didn’t say a word to me, which is the opposite of her usual style. I always get a warm welcome and hugs, but not last night. When I asked her what was going on, she pulled out her phone with the “my girlfriend wouldn’t like it” message. Seriously? Okay, I’ll concede it was a stupid joke, but for her to interpret that I have a girlfriend and was with her is ridiculous. The girlfriend I was talking about was Swan. Anyway, instead of getting all pissy, she could have just said who are you talking about? I guess what really bothered me most was for her to take that joke the wrong way, says that she sees me as the kind of guy who would have a girlfriend on the side. I may be many creepy things, but I’m not a cheater. We are back hugging this morning, but I still feel tension between us. I really despise drama.

Moving on, I know I have at least one reader who is a grammar Nazi.

I reckon I’ll do the floating bar to start things off once beer o’clock gets here. Swan is in Subic, so I won’t be with my girlfriend. Maybe tomorrow.