Naturally.
Perhaps it will come as no surprise to my readers, but the on-again, off-again romance I’ve recently experienced is once again over. I’m still reeling and can’t really get my head around the why of her decision. I guess the simplest explanation is that the love she claimed to feel for me was not as strong as the feelings I had for her. Her first instinct, whenever there is a bump in the road, is to flee. I honestly can’t deal with giving my heart to a woman who doesn’t value me more than that. I tried unsuccessfully to change her mind and now I find myself back in the realm of the unloved.
And so it goes. I will survive this of course. Honestly, I guess I should be thankful that she revealed her true feelings and nature before I traveled any further down the road that leads to heartbreak. At my age, wasted time is something I can’t afford to expend. I’ll try to return to my solitary life and find comfort in the knowledge that no one can hurt me there.
I guess I’ll never learn.
I had been wondering, frankly, whether this thing was going to survive to the end of the month, but I held off from saying anything because, well, hope springs eternal, and I always wish you the best, even when things get goofy and go sideways.
Anyway, at this point, since this has happened so many times, you probably have a whole procedure in place for how to deal with the aftermath of a crash-and-burn (that might make for an interesting book topic! title it Wreckage), so I’ll let you get to it.
Here’s hoping you’ve learned that your ex is like the world’s most unstable paper airplane, destined to nosedive into the ground the moment you throw her. Or are you thinking “third time’s a charm”? I sincerely hope not. While she checked all the right boxes in some ways, I could see from what you were writing that there were basic stability and reliability issues related to her maturity. As I’ve said before, it’s very rare to find an old soul in the body of a young nymph, but that’s the paradox you keep stubbornly searching for. Find someone more age-appropriate. Look at Keanu.
Hu!? (Confused imoji here) 🤔…we thought it’s all honey and sugar….well, ur instinct knows best…you’re immuned…
Sorry to hear this but to be honest, it comes as no surprise. Onward and upward!
Another song that sprung to mind was “I Am a Rock” by Simon and Garfunkel.
“A winter’s day
In a deep and dark December
I am alone
Gazing from my window
To the streets below
On a freshly fallen, silent shroud of snow
I am a rock
I am an island
I’ve built walls
A fortress, steep and mighty
That none may penetrate
I have no need of friendship
Friendship causes pain
Its laughter and its loving I disdain
I am a rock
I am an island
Don’t talk of love
Well, I’ve heard the words before
It’s sleeping in my memory
I won’t disturb the slumber
Of feelings that have died
If I never loved, I never would have cried
I am a rock
I am an island
I have my books
And my poetry to protect me
I am shielded in my armor
Hiding in my room
Safe within my womb
I touch no one and no one touches me
I am a rock
I am an island
And a rock feels no pain
And an island never cries”
Keep moving forward.
I’m sorry to hear this too. I expected it, but held off saying anything. This too shall pass.
Best wishes
Jerry
Bummer. Next!
Thanks to everyone for the words of support and encouragement.
Well, it seems near unanimous among my readers and my local friends: No surprise and good riddance.
It still hurts though. At least this time I can take comfort in the knowledge that my own behavior didn’t warrant the cruel way she chose to end the relationship. It was a revelation to me to see just how heartless and unfeeling she can be. That I was blind to that until now is worrisome and perhaps doesn’t bode well for my future efforts to find a true and lasting love.
In the meantime, life goes on. I’ll try to be a rock living on this island and bear in mind that “love is just a four-letter word”.
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