So, here’s today’s report about my yesterday in paradise. Kicked things off with an early morning beach stroll to watch the sunrise. Then we did a 6K walk to the outskirts of General Luna and back, before we finished the day with an ill-fated bar crawl. Here’s some of what I saw along the way.
After breakfast, we hit the road again. On foot this time.
So, when the guys came to pick up the car from our hotel yesterday, we had a bit of a disagreement. They owed me my 2000-peso deposit but tried to claim I owed them 500 pesos for not “cleaning the car.” I pointed out that the car was every bit as clean as when they had delivered it and accused the agent of trying to scam me. I also pointed out that there was twice as much gas in the tank as when they brought the car. I was losing my temper at this point, and Swan shooed me away while she continued the negotiation. When she returned, she had my 2000 pesos, so it turned out okay.
Back to the room for a nap and taking care of the blogging business, then spent some time on the front porch while the housekeeper cleaned our room.
Jeff had plotted out our bar crawl route on Google Maps, and we agreed to meet at the hotel bar at 4:00 pm to kick things off.
Things started going south for me from there. We arrived at 5:15 only to be told they weren’t open yet, despite their published opening of 5 pm. I said we should move on to the next venue, but I was overruled. So, we sat at the beach bar for drinks to await the opening of Parluman. Once the doors opened, I walked inside and ordered a beer, only to be told they didn’t serve beer…only gin drinks. Well, damn. I know better than to mix my beverages, so Swan and I left and went to the place next door…a nice big open-air bar that was much more to my liking.
No complaints about Last Chance Bar, but there was nothing special about it either. It didn’t really have a bar vibe or ambiance. When I pointed that out, one of the group told me that’s because you prefer dive bars. Come to think of it, that might be right.
We couldn’t find the next bar on our list, Extension, and someone told us it was closed, so we proceeded on to the next venue, Secreto. Well, along the way, I managed somehow to piss off Swan, and she left me. I was equal parts sad and angry about being deserted, and my mood wasn’t helped when our waitress told me Secreto didn’t have San Miguel Light. I settled for whatever draft they served me, then ordered another to try to kill my pain. Jeff told me I needed to leave, so I finished my beer and said my goodnights.
Swan messaged me that the room key was at the front desk, so I didn’t have any idea where she might have gone. When I got back to the hotel, I stopped by the beach bar for a beer while I sorted things out, and was pleasantly surprised to see Swan sitting there with a glass of wine.
We talked a bit about how my impatience triggered her, but in the end, she agreed to go back to the room. She left before me, and when I left, I decided to stop at the bar near our room to try to ease my reeling mind. Swan messaged asking where I was, and I invited her to join me. She did, and by then we had both calmed down enough to put the misunderstanding behind us and move forward with whatever future we might share together.
One thing that really hit home for me was that I am too old to recover from another heartbreak. If I fuck this up with Swan, it will be game over for me. I don’t want to live with any more regret than I’ve already accumulated over the years.
And on that depressing note, I’ll let go of last night and look forward to the rest of today. It’s been a good one so far.
It is now October 2015 in my journey through the LTG archives, and in this post, I am also enjoying a sunrise on the ocean—the East Ocean (don’t you dare call it the Sea of Japan!). I was making the best of the life I had back then, but sadly, it wasn’t enough.
Today’s YouTube video discusses the differences between typical aging effects and those caused by dementia. While there is no question that I am much more forgetful these days, based on this video, my symptoms fall within the normal aging range. From what I remember, anyway.
I didn’t forget the humor!
We’ll leave it at that for today. More and more, it feels like I’m living on the edge, but better on the edge than over it. So, I’m going to keep plugging away and making this the best life it can be.
Hellow Ser John, my loveliest mahal!!
I is sorry to hear you have big proboem with your honeyist dear. Please do not hit her again. It cannot solve the challenge The Lord places before us Mabaliw tayong mga babae! But should not punch we ladies, even when we act stupid or like monkeys!
I must recomment vist to Santo Thomas De Villenueva Church in General Luna and meet the Father Garciano. He can help lovely disputes and give advise not violent reactionments.
I will pray for you both and your safe return, but if you need my assistances, please just asking and I can cumming as soon as possibles if you can lending plane tickets. I can console and assist.
You will always be in my thoughts, my special ‘kano and gwapo….do not sad. The Lord loves us all and just ask our devotion. It is small price paying for salvation!
Today you need biggest mwah mwah mwah from Miss Coco…..I miss you so much!!! xoxo
John you have to calm down your aggressive tendencies when you’re drinking are scaring people. Put the bottle down and take a good hard look at yourself no one likes a violent unstable
Man it’s enough now come on
Then we did a 6K walk to the outskirts of General Luna and back, before we finished the day with an ill-fated bar crawl.
Spot and explain the error! (Hint: It has to do with a dependent clause.)
Swan with her toes in the sand, taking in the view.
I see that one palm tree in the background, leaning out farther than all of the others. This reminds me of a recurrent motif in the movie Contact.
our first venue, Parluman Gin Parlor
Check spelling. Pa-ra-lu-man (based on the photo you’ve displayed). Hear the sound in your head. (Unless it’s spelled “Paraluman” but pronounced “Parluman,” in which case I forgive you. But please spell it right all the same.)
So, we sat at the beach bar for drinks to await the opening of Parluman.
Check spelling again.
One thing that really hit home for me was that I am too old to recover from another heartbreak. If I fuck this up with Swan, it will be game over for me. I don’t want to live with any more regret than I’ve already accumulated over the years.
The Buddhist concept of attachment has to do with fixing your mind on a particular idea or ideal at the expense of other, more important things. Attachment is rooted in ego; a cognate Western concept for ego/egotism is selfishness. The example I’ve given when I’ve taught the concept is this:
You’re in a car with a group of friends, all having agreed to see Movie X, which just came out, and which has gotten great reviews. Suddenly, one of your friends in the car says, “You know what? I don’t really want to see Movie X. I wanna see Movie Y.” After some discussion, everyone in the car except you agrees to see Movie Y since none of you has seen it before. You, by contrast, are fuming. You had signed on to this little trip because everyone had originally agreed to see Movie X, and now, it feels as if everyone has betrayed you, and you’re off—against your will—to see a movie you’d never had any desire to see. Grumbling and stewing, you grudgingly agree to go along with the group, but you pout through the entire movie and declare, at the end, that Movie Y sucked—a petty, selfish utterance designed to be hurtful and to let everyone know how you feel.
The Buddhist analysis of your situation is that you were attached to the idea of seeing a particular movie. The thought of that movie had gotten so fixed in your mind that, when reality no longer conformed to your expectation, this caused you stress, to which you reacted with anger. You could have realized that, if Movie X was truly that important, then you could see it on your own later—no big deal. More importantly, you could have put your focus on having a good time with your friends, which ought to have been the real reason to go out, not to see Movie X specifically. Instead, you selfishly focused and doubled down on your attachment, causing yourself and those around you stress. Attachment doesn’t just affect you.
I’m glad you and Swan managed to reconcile, but it’d be nice for you to apologize for your attitude and behavior to your other friends, too. Your anger was doubtless palpable to them, not to mention a major buzzkill, to use a drinker’s term. Your friends are now going to quietly wonder whether this kind of thing will happen once or twice more before the end of your Siargao trip, and they might even question the wisdom of taking you along on other such trips in the future. Your friends all strike me as good folks, so you don’t want to burn bridges with them. They are, after all, your neighbors, too! You’ve got to live with these people.
To be clear, I’m not saying this from any position of moral authority because I’ve been guilty of this kind of behavior myself. But I think the Buddhist analysis is onto something here. So—word to the wise. For you and me both.
And, yes: you’ve got a great thing going with Swan, who is by far the best woman you’ve ever been with—emotionally stable and filled with common sense (except for one bit of insanity: she consented to be with you! —ha ha). Please don’t fuck that up. Be worthy of her quality.
And enjoy the rest of your trip. Relax, take a deep breath, and accept the Filipino way.
Swan left you, Jeff said you had to leave, must of been a fun night !
Terry, the night definitely didn’t go as planned. Jeff wanted me to leave and reconcile with Swan rather than sitting there brooding over my beer glass and ruining the night for everyone else. So, that’s what I did, and it turned out okay for all concerned.
Kevin, that sentence is shit, period. Maybe one or both of these correct the dependent clause problem:
We did a 6K walk to the outskirts of General Luna and back, and then we finished the day with an ill-fated bar crawl.
We did a 6K walk to the outskirts of General Luna and back. Later on, we finished the day with an ill-fated bar crawl.
What say you?
I’ve seen lots of those leaning palm trees this trip. Some of them grow that way, and others were knocked sideways in the recent typhoon.
I think I hated Paraluman so much that I subconsciously misspelled it on purpose. Twice.
I really do appreciate that Buddhist analogy. It hits really close to home. I acknowledge my inherently selfish nature, and really need to work on not overreacting when things don’t go my way. Thanks for the insights and encouragement. I’m in the final chapter of my life and hope I can finally get it right this time.
Swan is a special woman, that’s for sure. My selfish behavior, as manifested in my lack of patience, does trigger her on occasion. I hope to do better going forward. Maybe I can teach her to do this: “Take a deep breath. Relax. Accept John’s selfish ways.” Hey, it could work!
J, well, I can be an asshole, but I don’t get violent. Thanks for your support and concern.
Koko, nothing to worry about, all is fine with Swan and me. I think I’ve walked by the church you mentioned, but I don’t require any assistance from the Priest.
I’ll be flying out on Tuesday.
Then we did a 6K walk to the outskirts of General Luna and back, before we finished the day with an ill-fated bar crawl.
The rule with dependent clauses is: Use a comma if the clause comes first; drop the comma if the clause isn’t first.
• If you do that again, I’ll kill you.
• I’ll kill you if you do that again.
Simplest solution: drop the comma that precedes “before.”
Also, as for your attempted corrections: Use a comma before “then,” but no comma before “and then.” So:
WRONG: We did a 6K walk to the outskirts of General Luna and back, and then we finished the day with an ill-fated bar crawl.
RIGHT: We did a 6K walk to the outskirts of General Luna and back, then we finished the day with an ill-fated bar crawl.
re: Swan’s accepting your selfish ways
I know you’re joking, but Swan should never have to accept any man’s selfish ways. Other people’s lives aren’t lived for you; those lives are their own. The philosopher Kant noted this long ago: treat other people as ends in themselves, never as means to an end. People are not things meant to be bent to your service; they have their own lives, hopes, and dreams. If anything, you should live your life in service to them.
Kevin, that’s a philosophy I Kant do. (sorry, couldn’t resist). But seriously, what happened to the concept of accepting people for the way they are. If I’m a selfish prick, love me or leave me for what I am.
That said, I’m trying to do better, but damn, I sometimes feel like the caricature of the grumpy old man.