
Speaking of endings, the second and final day of my Pundaquit getaway isn’t in the books, but it is now on the blog. It wasn’t much more than a change-of-scenery excitement-wise, but I enjoyed the visit. Life plods on, and so do I. Here, let me show you what I mean.
A short morning walk to kick off the day:





At the appointed time, we walked back into Pundaquit proper to feed our faces at the local BBQ joint.









So, we hit the street again and marched our way to The Beach Bar for some liquid refreshments, sand, and another sunset.









It’s nice to spend some time at a legit beach bar. It irks me that we don’t have anything like this in Barretto. After the sun went down, we moved back to the bar area for our nightcap.

Wherever we are, we try to stay on schedule. But in vacation mode, we overindulged early (Swan had THREE glasses of wine!) and then did the short beach walk back to our room. Poor Swan had a rough night trying to sleep, but I was out like a light.

Like I said, nothing exciting about the day, but we enjoyed the change of scenery.
Moving on to February 2018 in the LTG archives, and in this post, I reminisce about the only time in my life when I was placed under arrest and carted off to jail. Now, I’m not saying I never committed other crimes; I just never got caught. And I’m fairly certain the statute of limitations has rendered me untouchable now. We’ll see if I find anything in the archives about the time I [allegedly] stole a car.
Today’s YouTube video is something I came across in Facebook memories from seven years ago. It’s a parody song about dating a Filipina. Based on what I learned from hard experience, it’s mostly true. It’s only a couple of minutes long, so give it a watch if you are so inclined.
Here’s some funny business:



Made it back home to Barretto alive, and I reckon I’ll get back into the flow of my routines tonight. We shall see. Speaking of seeing, and not wanting to be an ass about it, Swan took a photo of the bruise that came with my Hash fall last Monday. It may well be the biggest bruise I ever did have, no ifs, ands, or butts about it. For those who may be morbidly curious, I’ll post it below today’s song. You’ve been warned!
My ouchy:

Back is still a little stiff and sore, especially in the mornings. But I expect I will continue to grow older.
That stolen-car story sounds like a tale worth telling, John. And three glasses of wine sounds like a nice apertif, a precursor if you will for many drinks to follow. I think it’s better to have an enabling partner than for one’s alcoholism to be a source of constant fighting and bad feelings in a relationship. You can dry out for a while, if you want to, and they’d understand; or you can carry on the booze cruise and it’s not a problem for them. Sounds like a win-win scenario to me.
Alcoholic problems require alcoholic solutions.
She might be right about that.
When I heard this joke years ago, the roles were reversed: it was a sadly armless, legless woman on the beach, and just one “compassionate” guy. The punchline was: after he hugged her and kissed her and asked whether she’d ever been fucked, he gently scooped her into his arms, walked romantically with her out into the surf, and dropped her while shouting, “Now, you’re fucked!”
Knock, knock, knockin’ on Heaven’s door…
I may have mentioned this before a long time ago, but one of my favorite mental games is to replace words in song lyrics with other, inappropriate words. “Heaven” becomes “Kevin,” for instance, so “Knock-knock-knockin’ on Kevin’s door.” Or “I’m findin’ it hard to believe we’re in Kevin.” (Sorry, Bryan Adams.)
And “love” becomes “slug(s)”—noun or verb—so it’s
Now that we’ve got slugs, what’re we gonna do with them?
I wanna know what slugs are… I want you to show me
Slug Me Tender, Slug Me True
I Will Always Slug You
Crazy Little Things Called Slugs
How Deep is Your Slug
The Power of Slugs
Slugs on the Brain
etc.
There’s also: birds → turds:
Why do turds suddenly appear
Every time
You are near?
Just like me
They long to be
Close to you
I encountered a kindred spirit online who said he plays the same game, but for him, the transformation is heart → dick:
My Dick Will Go On
Total Eclipse of the Dick
Dick of Glass
Beating Dick
Don’t Go Breaking My Dick
Listen to Your Dick
Un-break My Dick
Young Dicks Run Free
Achy Breaky Dick
Hungry Dick
etc.
Unfortunately for me, I can’t unsee your ass. I hope that was AI.