Yep, one of those kinds of days. Here’s how it went down.
Welcome to the Philippines! I started off with my regular Tuesday morning shopping excursion to the Royal supermarket. I also added in a successful visit to the immigration office to extend my visa for an additional sixty days. Next stop was at Baypointe Hospital for an ultrasound to determine the cause of my wounded knee. My heart was buried in disappointment when I learned the machine needed to perform the scan was out of service.
The mountain gal I support asked for additional money this week and offered a massage. This is becoming a weekly occurrence, and I’m very disappointed that my generosity appears insufficient and unappreciated. I responded that the extent of my charity was 10,000 pesos a month. She could continue receiving it in 2500 weekly stipends or a monthly lump sum if preferred. These constant “emergencies” are outside of my budget and are her responsibility. She was gracious in her acceptance and reassured me how much my help means to her. So, I guess things are fine now–I just don’t want to feel like I’m being taken advantage of.
Mary came by later in the afternoon to deliver some cookies I had ordered. She’s traveling to Manila this week and asked me to help fund her trip. I declined to do so but advanced her 1000 pesos from next week’s support fund. She only seems interested in what I can do for her and offers me nothing in return. Granted, I don’t ask for anything either–I don’t want my support for her studies to be on a quid pro quo basis, but it does seem telling that she shows me almost zero affection. That’s fine; it’s just good to know.
When Beer o’clock arrived, Mary joined me briefly at Sloppy Joe’s, then departed to meet one of her girlfriends on Baloy. She invited me to come along, and I declined. I stayed for a few more beers with my buddies Chris, Troy, and Jim, then started thinking about where I might dine. A conversation amongst us ensued where everyone talked about their favorite eateries, and from this, I decided it was time for a return visit to Hops and Brews.
After I finished my meal, I decided to visit Wet Spot to put my “buy one, get one” coupon to work. I noticed Aine was on the dance stage, so I called her down to join me for a drink and some small talk. A few minutes later, the young cutie I had barfined on a “snuggle only” basis several months ago walked by, and she sat down on the other side of me, so naturally, I bought her a drink. I tried to engage them in the usual banter and small talk, but neither seemed interested. Then I put my camera in selfie mode to capture my moment with these two lovely ladies.
I wasn’t exactly pissed, and disappointed doesn’t capture the emotion either. Whatever it was, I knew I was done with both of their ungrateful asses. I had my second beer delivered, finished it without talking, and departed without leaving either of them my usual tip. I don’t know; being respectful to the customer and making sure they enjoy their visit seems to be an important part of the job when you are working for lady drink commissions. I certainly wasn’t going to pay to be subjected to their bad attitudes.
I walked up the highway and popped into Whiskey Girl to do some more of the “buy one, take one” thing. I noticed that my regular waitress and snuggle bunny Jenn was back to work. I’m not sure what was going on, but while she did come and greet me, she didn’t sit down and join me like she used to do. It wasn’t like she was busy; I saw her sitting off by herself across the room. So, I sat there alone, stewing in my juices. Again, it wasn’t exactly anger I felt, something more like disgust. And the person I was most disgusted with was me. Manager Mark, and old dart league buddy, sat with me for a while, and we had a nice chat about the bar biz. Hell, it’s hard enough being a happy customer; I’d hate to have to deal with the bullshit he puts up with daily. I finished my two drinks and departed, but I couldn’t resist letting Jenn know how disappointed I was in her behavior as I left. I’m sure I’ll be back at Whiskey Girl again (the SOB is there on Friday), but I doubt I’ll be spending time (and money) with Jenn in the future.
I crossed the highway (and lived to write about it) for my nightcap at Queen Victoria. Angie wasn’t working (I found out later she called in sick), so I settled onto my barstool to get the last drops of beer from my buy one, take one coupon. It wasn’t long before I was joined by a young woman I hadn’t seen before. She got right into her bargirl routine, giving me a shoulder massage. I didn’t tell her to leave me alone, but I didn’t encourage her to stay either. Before long, the head waitress appeared and asked me if I wanted to buy the gal beside me a drink. I’ve known this person for quite some time (I met her years ago on the Arizona floating bar), and I kind of lit into her, saying if I wanted to buy a drink, I would have asked the girl directly. I didn’t need her coming over to twist my arm. I said you should know better than to treat me like a tourist; I don’t appreciate it. She apologized and slinked off. Yeah, I overreacted, but I guess it was just a culmination of lousy bargirl experiences all night long getting the best of me.
After the head waitress departed, I told the girl rubbing on me that I usually tip for the massage, but if she preferred a lady drink, that was fine. She ordered a San Mig Apple, the dreaded double lady drink. I told her, no, I don’t buy double drinks. She could have a single. Naturally, she accepted the only alternative available, and that was that. I finished my beer, paid my tab, and took a trike home.
I had myself a big bowl of rocky road ice cream and turned on the TV. Yeah, that’s the way us grumpy old men roll, I suppose. Maybe tonight will be better.
And just so this post isn’t totally devoid of merit and value, let me share a couple of links some of my readers may find of interest.
This one talks about the renewed public standing together of the Philippines and the USA in the face of China’s aggressive action in the South China Sea. The recently completed exercise was clearly intended to send a message to the Chinese that the Philippines will be defended.
And here’s one that talks about how Korean women were allegedly used and abused by the American military in the early days of the alliance. That was before my time there, but the gals I personally saw in the biz were there by choice. Maybe history will be rewritten, and the willing prostitutes will become the equivalent of forced comfort women. Or perhaps I’m reading too much into it.
That’s all for today. See you tomorrow, hopefully with more positive perspectives.
She only seems interested in what I can do for her and offers me nothing in return. Granted, I don’t ask for anything either–I don’t want my support for her studies to be on a quid pro quo basis, but it does seem telling that she shows me almost zero affection. That’s fine; it’s just good to know.
I do seem to recall suggesting that she’s precocious and playing you. Someone who’s been around the block at that young age should always be approached with caution. But I know of your predilection for the low-quality girls.
I certainly wasn’t going to pay to be subjected to their bad attitudes.
As the litany goes, if you want a lady of substance, you’re going to have to look outside of your normal circles. I keep waiting for this to sink in.
I couldn’t resist letting Jenn know how disappointed I was in her behavior as I left.
I’m morbidly curious to know how she reacted.
Sounds like a “meh” day all in all. Sorry to hear it. At the same time, this is the life you’ve built around yourself, so you know this sort of shit is bound to happen. And realistically speaking, a shit-free life is impossible: even a high-quality woman is going to be a pain in the ass sometimes, just as you’ll be a pain to her on occasion. So it’s not a question of improving your relative levels of joy and stress; it’s more a question of living a life of greater or lesser substance—something that leads to a truly fundamental contentment. What could you be doing with your life that would give you a deep sense of fulfillment? Something done in service to others? Acquiring new skills? Traveling around the PI and learning about what makes certain regions different from other regions? You’ve got a whole country to play with, so the sky’s the limit.
After you finish watching all six(?) seasons of “Lucifer,” of course.
John, does your area get a lot of foreign tourists as opposed to residents like yourself?
I can kind of understand the attitude of the bargirls if 80% of the foreigners they saw were tourists. In their mind, “hey, this person will be gone tomorrow and replaced with someone else, so no need to be overly nice. There will always be another one.”
But, if the ratio is reversed and the majority of the foreigners are residents, then they really are oblivious to what their job entails.
I think you’re being played by “mountain mama”. Since it has been such long term, may be hard to go cold turkey.
In TX resting with a very bad cold. On my way home to Colorado Springs soon. Anyway, while incapacitated I ‘ve watched Maverick and then Lucifer. Easy for me to get hooked bc of 62 Vette, the one I let go. Finished s1 e1. Will probably down a bunch of alcohol, wrap in a blanket and binge.
Drop Mary. My pick; I forgot her name, the girl with the big round glasses that shows up for many hashes. I believe she won a beauty contest last year.
Back to Korea in July.
The sense of entitlement and “it can’t hurt to ask” mentality manifest quite quickly in certain circles, where money problems are eagerly transferred to others and generosity is often perceived as foolishness.
But you already knew that.
Your pera, your choice.
DS, yes, and the hard part is ferreting out the legitimate ones. I’m trying not to become completely cynical, but more and more, I’m growing weary of the seemingly constant expectations of near strangers that I will save them from the crisis of the moment.
Rascal, Yeah, the Vette is super cool. I’m on the last episode of Season 2 now and still really enjoying the show a lot. Hope you are feeling better soon.
Yeah, I know the gal you are talking about. She’s in a relationship now with a good guy who treats her right, and I’m happy for them both. I tried to make a play for her sister, but she just calls me daddy and ignores my overtures. Oh, well.
Brian, we do get a lot of tourists here, but in the bars I patronize, I’d say the clientele is 75% expats. But yeah, the two-week millionaires and newbie tourists are easy marks, and most will have to learn the hard way (like I did). That’s why when they treat me like I’m a fool, I get so incensed.
You are generous to call them oblivious; I think some of them just don’t care. Once they reveal their true nature to me, I cut them off and send them in search of the next sucker. Ultimately, it is up to the customer to decide when it stops being fun.
Kev, yeah, it is scary to think Mary is such a talented player at such a young age, especially since she has never had the chance to hone those skills as a bargirl. I’m not sure if it is “predilection” or some magnetic force that attracts these girls to me. Either way, I’m cursed, it seems.
Just to be clear, though, I’m no longer entertaining any thoughts that I’ll find “the one” in a bar. My bad night on the town was because these gals who are paid to pretend to enjoy my company were treating me like shit. Crap, when even the bargirls don’t like you, you’ve hit the ultimate low.
Jenn didn’t respond to my tirade when I delivered it, just sat there with a surprised look on her face. She did send me this message yesterday: “Hello, I’m really sorry about last night…I just thought you don’t like to talk and be close to me, so I just go…ok, you always take care of yourself.” So, I guess it’s possible there was a misunderstanding, and I overreacted. Anyway, I’m over it. When you start thinking a bargirl shares any of what you are feeling towards her, you are on the road to trouble.
Yes, you are spot-on about the lack of substance in my life. I also agree that has been my choice and that it is possible to be content without substance, as long as you accept that life for what it is. I think I’m still on the fence. Anyway, I do think about traveling and have some destinations in mind; I just need to get off my lazy ass and make it happen. In the meantime, Netflix is the new addition to my meaningless pursuits, and it is something I’m enjoying for a change of pace. Yep, 6 seasons of Lucifer, and I’m on the last episode of season two now.
Filling in the hours, however comfortably and well. That seems to be the life I’ve chosen for old age.
Here is my suggestion:
Find a legitimate local or semi local charity organization, though I realize that in and of itself may be difficult. I am thinking of something like the Salvation Army that has been vetted and spends the vast majority of its donations on its goals. Total up the amount you spend on your various individuals. Cut those people off, and donate that amount on a monthly basis to said charity. Get some business cards printed up with the charity’s contact info, mission statement, etc. When someone comes to you with their hand out, you hand out one of the business cards, explain to them your donation strategy and direct them to contact the charity. That way, you are still making a difference, and after a month or two, it should eliminate the pestering.
I second Brian’s suggestion. Good plan.