I’ve decided I’m not giving up on Pam. She’s worth fighting for.
Yeah, it’s been a crazy ride so far and yesterday was yet another example of that fact. I thought we were going to dinner, so I went by her place around 4:00 p.m. to make sure she was going to be free to leave. Once again, Pam was sitting at the table with [that guy]* and several others. I also observed that she was finishing what appeared to be a club sandwich. So much for dinner, I thought to myself. Well, I had already resolved to not be intimidated by a Brit trying to steal away “my” girl, so I pulled up a stool at the counter with my back to the gathering at the table and ordered a beer. Not a word of greeting or acknowledgment of my presence from Pam. After a few minutes, Pam and [that guy] went inside and sat down together at a table. Alright, I had seen enough. I went inside, paid for my beer, and as I was leaving [that guy] engaged me in some conversation about an incident in Angeles where a friend of his had been beaten by the police. I politely listened and responded, said goodnight, and headed out the door. I was pretty numb at this point.
Pam followed me out and showed me a message on her phone concerning some legal issues she is facing over control of her business. She said [that guy] had some connections and she didn’t want to discuss the issues she’s dealing with outside in front of the others. Whatever. Pam wasn’t free to join me for dinner and so I left not knowing what to think, but I knew I was very unhappy about what I was feeling.
Went to Mango’s and took up my beachside stool drank some beer and ordered up some food.
After a couple of beers, I decided a walk on the beach was in order.
So, I decided a visit to It Doesn’t Matter was in order. Me plying Roan and another waitress with lady drinks was a nice enough distraction. After a while, I decided a change of scenery was in order, so I paid a visit to Cheap Charlies. I was surprised to see the place so busy. But Alma, my favorite there, found me a nice seat upfront with the highway view I prefer. More drinking and buying lady drinks ensued.
I had periodically been messaging Pam but she was mostly unresponsive. She did acknowledge that [that guy] was still at the bar. Well, in that case, I wasn’t going back so I caught a trike home instead. I was sound asleep at 11:30 when my phone rang. It was Pam telling me she was coming over. Okay then.
After she arrived, I went back to bed. She joined me. And we had a nice long talk before we fell asleep. And another long talk this morning. She convinced me that [that guy] is no threat to me, and while acknowledging he makes nearly constant advances, she has no intention of succumbing to his desires. He is a customer first and foremost, and one that perhaps will have some value in resolving her current situation with the landlord of her business. I told her that I trust her and have no interest in creating additional difficulties or stress in her life.
We also talked about ways we could have more success at spending time together. We do well when we are sharing adventures or doing things we both enjoy. So, we’ll see if we can work out a way to make that happen more often.
So, just when I was about to give up, Pam pulled me back in. She really is amazing in many ways and very much unlike the other women I have met here. I’m not going to quit unless and until I find that she is unworthy of my love and trust. We still need to improve our communication skills with each other, but based on our recent conversations I think we can make that happen.
*I am no longer comfortable using [that guy’s] name in these posts. It is a small town I’m living in, he’s lived here a lot longer, and he is well known throughout the community. He also apparently has friends in high places and I don’t need that kind of trouble in my life either.
Look at us baby, up all night Tearing our love apart Aren't we the same two people Who lived through years in the dark? Every time I try to walk away Something makes me turn around and stay And I can't tell you why When we get crazy It just ain't right (try to keep your head, little girl) Girl, I get lonely, too You don't have to worry Just hold on tight (don't get caught in your little world) 'Cause I love you Nothing's wrong as far as I can see We make it harder than it has to be And I can't tell you why No, baby, I can't tell you why I can't tell you why Every time I try to walk away Something makes me turn around and stay And I can't tell you why
Call him Dick. And tread carefully. This smells like a weird situation to me.
Yeah, I’m keeping my eyes wide-open for any signs of trouble. One thing about the recent ups and downs–I realized I’m going to be fine whatever the ultimate outcome. I want to give this a try because it is something different for me and I’d like to continue to experience that passion. But if she chooses a different route, so be it. I’ll go back to my other life and that suits me fine as well.
Dear John,
The guy who you dare not speak his name anymore must be more than just a man about town. Still it goes to show you never lose the girl – only your place in the line regardless. So Keep On Keeping On.
Dave, yeah. The name doesn’t matter, it’s all about the story. No need for distractions. 🙂
Sounds like a not-perfect situation but no harm in keeping in at it while you can.
Yeah, not perfect but hopefully good enough! 🙂
Sounds like all those women are spinning plates. It’s a Darwinian rouse for the best long term form of survival. Without knowing every last detail of the woman’s background, it’s a tad farfetched to believe she wouldn’t be any different. Or is that would be any different?
Dan, different background, more middle-class upbringing than the usual girls I meet here. She’s never asked me for a penny either. Whatever attracts her to me doesn’t seem to be based on any financial needs. Appears smarter and more engaged than most as well.
Still not sure where this is going to go, but it ought to be an interesting ride…