The breast of times

Yesterday I got registered for today’s Haggis Hash. For my P1000 fee ($20) I received a bag full of Hash trash.

Said bag which contained my Hash gear…
Including this ball cap…
…a sweat towel…
…these kilt-like looking shorts…
…and of course, the traditional commemorative Hash shirt.

I’m all decked out for today’s Haggis…

The shorts are ridiculous, probably the only time I’ll ever wear them…
And I’m wearing my Subic shirt to represent my team in the Haggis events this afternoon.

Last night we did the “Full Moon Hash” which in actuality is a male-only bar crawl. Of course, there ain’t many bars here, but we hit three of them. What was unusual was the “entertainment” provided–dancing girls dancing. Then dancing without their tops. And finally dancing naked! I’ve seen that in Thailand, but never the Philippines which tends to lean conservative when it comes to sexual mores. I know these shows were specifically put on for our benefit, but still, it seemed pretty risky. The doors weren’t locked and there were non-Hashers in the bars.

And I guess I really am turning into a grumpy old man. I like women just fine, even tattooed prostitutes. Their pussies right up in my face? Not so much. Some of the other guys seemed to really be into it though, at least their tongues were. Yuck! Anyway, I find women more attractive when something is left to the imagination. That’s just how I roll.

At the third bar, we did a Hash circle. I’d had a few beers by then and just wasn’t much in the mood for the usual chicanery. At the La Union Hash, they don’t use ice for punishment. Instead, you drink from this:

No idea what the concoction inside truly is, but obviously it looks like shit. Didn’t get the opportunity to taste any either. I bailed before the circle was completed.

I’m just too old for that crap. Hope it is more fun today. Stay tuned.

4 thoughts on “The breast of times

  1. “Come Together”

    They misspelled your moniker, I see. Alas.

    Are those one-size-fits-all garments, or did they size you to make sure your gift bag contained clothing that fits?

    Anyway, here’s hoping the Haggis Hash went well.

    I can only hope and pray that that’s iced coffee inside a toilet that’s been wrapped in a garbage bag.

  2. The misspelling was likely intentional–as us Subic heathens are frequently reminded–La Union is a “family hash”.

    I preregistered and was asked my shirt size at that time. Didn’t know ridiculous shorts were included. I assume if you were XL shirt they provide XL shorts.

    No idea what was in the toilet–it looked chunky–and I’m glad I didn’t find out.

    Haggis report to come!

  3. “Here lies John Archilbald McCrarey. He liked women just fine. Even tattooed prostitutes.”

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