Comments Posted By Kevin Kim
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“Your wall ain’t gonna stop us! And neither will your fences!”
…said many a determined Mexican.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 08/August/2020 @ 7:04 pm
Regarding your vagina-flower:
If you do a “search Google for this image,” the result you get is “poppy bud.” And there you go.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 07/August/2020 @ 10:52 pm
Gotcher email! Thanks.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 07/August/2020 @ 10:45 pm
Wow– when did you start password-protecting your posts? Only just noticed that.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 07/August/2020 @ 7:12 am
Tillamook is a good, solid brand. They make a variety of dairy products, including cheese. Good to know they’re in the PI.
That spaghetti pic scares me. I do hope that those chunks of mystery material were mushrooms and not garlic. I’m also frightened of the huge bits of onion. No, thanks.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 06/August/2020 @ 2:56 pm
The unbearable lightness of being
I took a gander at your 2005 post and noticed that there were comments questioning the veracity of the story/photos (including from your ex) dating back to 2005. Your new commenter is definitely slow on the uptake.
That photo of the dead hiker with the gnawed leg made me think of the Roman proverb my buddy Mike had wanted me to translate into Chinese years ago: “When your luck runs out, it doesn’t matter how big your dick is.” I ended up turning that into a tee-shirt design over at CafePress. (Still on sale!)
For what it’s worth: it may be bullshit to connect the bear-hunt photos with the dead-hiker photo, but I’d say the dead hiker was legitimately killed and gnawed on by a bear of some sort. Unless there’s a particularly vicious strain of deer out there… which reminds me: do a Google Image search on “vampire deer” if you want to see something strange and wonderful. I have a photo of a Korean vampire-deer carcass over at my Kevin’s Walk 2 blog. Do a search for “deer” on that blog and scroll down a ways.)
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 05/August/2020 @ 3:16 pm
Yeah, that’s the troublesome aspect, here: you two now have to practice a certain level of deceit, even though your relationship will basically be an open secret. There’s also the complicating factor that Iline’s guy will eventually find out (from someone) what’s now going on, and what’s more: if Iline is willing to be unfaithful to her guy, what’s to stop her from one day being unfaithful to you? That’s the problem with dating cheaters. You can rationalize this by saying, “Well, she’s on her way out of that relationship, anyway,” but that doesn’t remove the stain. She’s still in that relationship, like it or not (just ask her far-off guy). This isn’t something that can be wished away. And that’s why I say this is the road leading to unnecessary drama.
The easiest solution would be for Iline to break up with her current guy, making clear to both him and you where she now stands. Leaving her current guy hanging is needlessly cruel.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 05/August/2020 @ 5:49 pm
In answer to Fernando Pessoa and his paragraph on painful counterfactuals:
For all we ought to have thought
but have not thought
For all we ought to have said
but have not said
For all we ought to have done
but have not done
I pray thee, God, for forgiveness
—Ibn Fadlan (Antonio Banderas), “The Thirteenth Warrior”» Posted By Kevin Kim On 04/August/2020 @ 11:11 pm
Great pics of the trail, but cell-phone cameras really don’t do the moon justice, do they. God knows I’ve tried with my own phone.
Women can figure things out via intuition, even when two lovers make an effort to stand innocently apart. Rumors will fly all the same. Such is life in a small town, with small-town-minded people.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 04/August/2020 @ 6:37 pm
Mary’s a parasite who still doesn’t get that her brand of black magic is no longer working on you. Interesting combination of street-smart and people-stupid. She needs to work on what Koreans call nunchi, the perceptive ability to read people. Her desperation indicates she hasn’t found any new johns (sic) yet.
“Things started off with a bang when Iline came to the house. I suppose that’s a double entendre, but yes we did.”
If you’re saying what I think you’re saying… congratulations, I guess? I think you’ve chosen the road that leads to unnecessary drama, but if Iline’s the one leading this dance, well, have fun for as long as it lasts.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 03/August/2020 @ 2:13 pm
De-lousing yourself of the parasitic Mary seems like a good move. Pining for Iline the Unavailable, not so much. Staying in the Friend Zone is the way to go until you find a quality lady of your own. No need to unnecessarily “soap-operatize” your life by turning the Friend Zone into the Constant Temptation Zone. That road leads only to stupidity and useless drama.
In a different comment thread, you called yourself your own worst critic when it came to relationship gaffes. I think we, your faithful readers, will believe that when we see you actually recognizing the danger signs and avoiding the pitfalls. So find yourself a woman of Iline’s quality and character, but don’t be the guy who tries to tempt Iline away from her current man. That would be selfish and destructive.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 01/August/2020 @ 9:36 pm
Oh, yeah—what’s with the change in spelling from “Ilene” to “Iline”? Is the second spelling the correct, updated one? The International Society of Proofreaders of Blogs Written by Over-60 Expats in the Philippines really wants to know. You don’t want to piss off the ISPBWBO60EP.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 31/July/2020 @ 9:55 pm
At least it wasn’t the worst of times. Thanks for the pic of the carbs.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 31/July/2020 @ 6:51 pm
What I really want, though, would be pics of the food!
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 31/July/2020 @ 11:11 am
Here’s hoping you and Ilene have a good, pleasant, no-grope lunch free of any ulterior schemes for getting into poor Ilene’s pants.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 30/July/2020 @ 4:09 pm
Terry cracks me up.
Sorry, John. I really shouldn’t be laughing.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 30/July/2020 @ 12:17 am
To quote myself from a few days ago:
“Just make sure you aren’t being played. She may be only twenty, but she also may be a lot more worldly and wily than she’s letting on.”
Sigh… some of us saw this coming a mile away.
It’s time to start thinking with the head that contains a brain.
And here’s an important thing to remember: you were just about fucked over by a woman… but your ass got saved by a woman, too. There’s a lesson in that.
Be a better judge of quality and character. That means not letting the Johnson do John’s thinking.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 29/July/2020 @ 9:59 pm
Is there a nearby shower for the recipient of the “birthday cake” to use? Or does s/he simply go home caked in cake?
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 28/July/2020 @ 4:54 pm
Fine-looking views, and a fine-looking pork chop. Not so sure I needed to see Rock Bottom, but when you visit Long Time Gone, there’s always some measure of risk.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 27/July/2020 @ 2:55 pm
Well, I will once again spare you any commentary about the situation; it is, after all, your life to live. But I will offer up this joke, which a buddy of mine told me years and years ago:
A man comes to a farm looking to buy a rooster for breeding purposes. The farmer he speaks with grimaces and says, “Yeah, we got ourselves a rooster, but we cain’t sell ‘im. Wouldn’t be proper.”
“What’s the problem with him?” the man asks.
“You don’t wanna know,” says the farmer. “But I’ll give you a look at ‘im if you want.” The man assents, and they move into the farm to see the rooster.
The man is treated to the sight of a powerful-looking, amazingly healthy rooster that would be perfect for breeding. It stood, proud and alone, in its own sequestered part of the farm, like a deadly weapon that gets taken out only in times of emergency.
“Good God!” the man exclaims. “You have to sell him to me!”
“Ain’t fer sale,” says the farmer. “Wouldn’t be proper. All’s I can say is, that thang is dangerous.”
The man grated, “I’ll offer you—” and he named an utterly exorbitant amount of money. The farmer considered.
“Okay, then,” said the farmer. “He’s yers. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya’, though.”
Giddy with delight, the man trucks the rooster back to his own property and, impatient to get things moving, tosses the rooster into his own henhouse. Humming to himself, the man retires for the day.
The next morning, the man walks over to the henhouse and opens the door. He screams in horror. Every single one of his prized hens is dead, and the rooster is standing among the carcasses, breathing hard and staring at the man with crazed, bloodshot eyes. The man moans, “Good Lord, he… he fucked them to death! Jesus, I’m gonna have to figure this out…” And with that, the man takes the rooster out and places him in a barn with a bunch of other farm animals—cows, pigs, horses. “Lemme think about this,” the man mutters to himself, and he goes back into his domicile.
The next morning, the man wakes up and has an idea of what to do. He strides purposefully over to the barn and opens the door… and screams in horror once again. The rooster is standing in the midst of a pile of animal carcasses, looking insanely triumphant. All the cows, pigs, and horses are dead, blood trickling out of their nether regions. “No!” shouts the man, searching around the barn for what he needs. He finds a chain with a spike on one end and a metal collar on the other. Grabbing the chain and the rooster, the man angrily marches out into his pasture, far away from any other beasts. He claps the metal collar around the rooster’s neck, hammers the spike deep into the ground, and stomps away, growling, “That’ll teach you to fuck my animals to death!”
The next day, the man tromps back out to where the rooster is… and as he nears the rooster, he sees that it’s still on its chain, but it’s dead. Its eyes are closed, and its tongue is hanging out of its open beak.
“What in God’s name happened here?” the man blurts out. He approaches the rooster carefully, having seen his share of horror movies. The rooster doesn’t move; it really seems dead. The man gets right up to it. He stares down at the carcass.
One of the rooster’s eyes pops open.
“Sshh,” says the rooster, pointing at the sky with a sly wingtip. “Buzzards.”
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 26/July/2020 @ 6:22 pm
Looks to have been a great hike. Good luck tonight, I guess. Just make sure you aren’t being played. She may be only twenty, but she also may be a lot more worldly and wily than she’s letting on.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 25/July/2020 @ 6:00 pm
Heh. So much for Rule #1. Well… good luck, man.
As for this:
After this very brief exchange, I crossed the highway and continued homeward. And the next thing I knew, he was walking a few steps ahead of me!
I fervently hope that’s a typo.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 24/July/2020 @ 8:06 pm
Reverend Spooner apparently had a condition that caused him to flip parts of words around, especially when he was under stress. One of his classics: “Mardon me, Padam. This pie is occupewed. May I sew you to a sheet?”
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 25/July/2020 @ 10:52 am
Sounds almost like a spoonerism. I think I’ve mentioned spoonerisms before on this blog, but those usually involve switching out parts of words, not entire words.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 24/July/2020 @ 8:21 pm
Whoops. Rule #1 should be, “Don’t BE A sucker…”
Ah, senility and dyslexia.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 23/July/2020 @ 6:09 pm
Well, that final pic just about sums up 2020. Sorry to hear that your gesture seemingly went unappreciated, but if Jhen has any maturity and character, she’ll at least send you a note of gratitude sometime before Christmas. If she doesn’t do that, then remember Rule #1: don’t a be sucker when women come a-pleading. You won’t be making any real difference that way; you’re just a corpse being plucked at by crows. Making a difference should be about proceeding from a sense of self-worth, i.e., from a position of strength and dignity; it shouldn’t be about trying to find a sense of self-worth. You’re already worthy, good sir, so don’t turn your gestures of charity into a subtle form of begging.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 23/July/2020 @ 5:33 pm
May the influx of tourists resume soon, then!
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 23/July/2020 @ 3:14 pm
Boy, the authorities sure are playing with your emotions, aren’t they. Yeesh. I hope the situation stabilizes soon. Yoyo-ing back and forth between “open” and “not open” isn’t good for anyone’s mental health. Was also sorry to read, in your previous post, about the death of Arizona. That place was definitely a fixture in past blog posts. But I guess we knew that some places wouldn’t be hardy enough to survive the current troubles. So just hunker down and hang on. Maybe some reincarnation of Arizona will appear someday.
Based on one of your captions above, I think you may already know this joke:
Jesus was hanging off the cross, slowly dying. A weeping half-circle of his followers stood around the cross. Jesus, in agony, looked down and saw John, one of the faithful disciples.
“John,” Jesus rasped, “come closer.” John, lips quivering, obediently shuffled forward a bit.
“Yes, Lord?” he sobbed.
“No—closer,” Jesus quietly urged.
“Yes, Lord?” said John through his tears as he inched forward.
“No—closer,” insisted Jesus. John got right up to the foot of the cross. He looked up at his teacher.
“What have you to say, my Lord?” John asked.
“I can see your house from here,” Jesus said.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 22/July/2020 @ 8:58 pm
Thanks, Brian! I’ll check it out.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 22/July/2020 @ 5:17 pm
«« Back To Stats PageWhile I’m at it, the Wikipedia entry on “hiking” makes for fascinating reading. There’s a lot of great vocabulary in that entry. Different English-speaking countries use different terms to describe the ways in which we take walks. I got curious about this because the NZ videos kept mentioning “tramping” and “tramping boots”—something we just don’t say in the States, even though the verb “to tramp” (e.g., “tramping around in the rain”) is known to us (US Eng.: to tramp = “to stomp about”).
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 21/July/2020 @ 10:11 pm