Comments Posted By Kevin Kim
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In the other comment thread, I wrote that we can at least be sure that your feelings for J don’t amount to love. At this point, I’d say it’s clear that there’s no seriousness at all regarding your relationship with J, and that you’re content to use women the way they may or may not be using you. The deceit and the fucking-around certainly aren’t indicative of a relationship built on substance, and if substance is what you claim to crave, you sure have a funny way of following that desire.
Someone ought to write a script for a cinematic comedy based on your life. Your moral depravity doesn’t affect me or your other male friends since we’re not in danger of being sexually targeted by you, but if you really do want something more out of life than to treat the women around you as little more than ambulatory vaginas, something very basic in your outlook and your morality is going to have to change.
Other commenters will chime in with their own practical wisdom, but the way I see it, you’re better off being honest with yourself and acknowledging that you’re really not looking for anything more substantive than the carnal.
Has it occurred to you that your ex is probably aware you’ve been with J, and this is the ex’s way of re-marking her “territory”? She now has ammunition that she can “accidentally” let slip during a heated conversation with J, whom she may see (for whatever bizarre, petty reason) as a rival. You’ve dug yourself a lovely hole.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 17/August/2020 @ 3:08 pm
Well, at least we know that whatever you’re feeling for J is not love, or this would never have happened. I’m all for clarity. One mystery solved; several to go!
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 17/August/2020 @ 11:26 am
“And then I wound up doing something stupid. I probably got away with it this time, but I’m pretty disappointed in myself. When will I ever learn?”
So I guess you’re going to leave us hanging as to what the stupid thing was, with only the cartoon as a hint, ja? Thinking with the dick again, is my guess. Deny it all you want, but you’re driven by lust, man. This will be your undoing.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 16/August/2020 @ 7:20 pm
Those face shields are ridiculous. You look like a cafeteria worker. Has there been any official explanation as to why face shields are necessary, above and beyond masks?
“When life gives you lemons…” Maybe turn your face shield into a positive thing by starting up a food truck. Heh.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 15/August/2020 @ 6:11 pm
Well, you can only control your own actions in this matter, and you’ve made it clear* you’re stepping back for the next little while, so it’s up to J to do what must be done. Will she have the strength to break things off with a guy that—I think you both agree—is fairly stupid?
If J is openly declaring love** for you, then breaking up with her man seems to be the only path ahead. It’s going to be difficult, given all the guy has invested in his construction project, but the guy’s own stupidity is what put him in this situation. Obviously, no one needs to consider the guy’s feelings in this matter unless there’s a danger he’s psychotic.
Question is: do you love J? If you’re not sure, then you probably won’t want to lead her on. Real love is something you’re sure about. (Remember what the Oracle said in “The Matrix”?)
Anyway, it seems clear that J needs to free herself from her current tangle before anything more can happen. She’s given you license to do what you want while you wait for her, but I’d recommend doing the noble thing and just waiting for her as opposed to fucking around on the side. My two scents, said the skunk.
———-
*Not sure whether that bout of sex afterward made things “clearer.” I suspect not. You both need to learn to control your appetites: they’re getting in the way of rationally navigating this shit show.
**Is this love, though? You’ve known J for a while, but you’ve been a couple for a very, very short time. How is this different from J’s short time with her current boyfriend? It seems that, with J, things always move very fast. That’d be a red flag for me, and I’d be thinking about whether J’s hastiness is what entrapped her other man. On the positive side, J at least sounded as if she’d be willing to let you go for the sake of love, which is the opposite of a red flag.
You’re on your own with this one, McCrarey.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 14/August/2020 @ 6:27 pm
I seem to be saying this a lot, but good luck with “the talk!”
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 13/August/2020 @ 4:26 pm
Sounds about right. They do love themselves some leaf action.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 13/August/2020 @ 7:19 pm
If I’m not mistaken, you’re looking at good ol’ tent caterpillars, which are all over northern Virginia. Fry ’em up and see how they taste! or at least look up in the trees to see their tents/nests.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 12/August/2020 @ 5:58 pm
Good luck as you figure out when to color inside the lines and when to flout the regulations.
The day looked wet and wild!
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 11/August/2020 @ 5:09 pm
We’ve had some nasty, nasty flooding by the Han River. One section of the Olympic Expressway was completely covered; I imagine that whole stretch of road will need to be repaired, given how soaked the packed earth underneath the roadway has gotten.
Hang in there! Rainy season won’t last forever. I hope. In the meantime, shut the fuck up and enjoy the view! (That goes for me, too.)
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 10/August/2020 @ 3:42 pm
A family friend recently forwarded to me a series of photos showing painted staircases from around the world: artistic efforts to make life just a bit less boring. Many of those photos were incredibly beautiful: from the correct angle, the staircases formed portraits of famous people, various types of still life, or evocative abstract images. I thanked my friend for sending over those moments of beauty. It’s important to remember that life contains such moments, which may be ephemeral, but which nevertheless leave a mark as they pass.
In that spirit, then, thanks for sharing these moments of literary beauty. There is power in words.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 09/August/2020 @ 5:36 pm
“Your wall ain’t gonna stop us! And neither will your fences!”
…said many a determined Mexican.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 08/August/2020 @ 7:04 pm
Regarding your vagina-flower:
If you do a “search Google for this image,” the result you get is “poppy bud.” And there you go.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 07/August/2020 @ 10:52 pm
Gotcher email! Thanks.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 07/August/2020 @ 10:45 pm
Wow– when did you start password-protecting your posts? Only just noticed that.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 07/August/2020 @ 7:12 am
Tillamook is a good, solid brand. They make a variety of dairy products, including cheese. Good to know they’re in the PI.
That spaghetti pic scares me. I do hope that those chunks of mystery material were mushrooms and not garlic. I’m also frightened of the huge bits of onion. No, thanks.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 06/August/2020 @ 2:56 pm
The unbearable lightness of being
I took a gander at your 2005 post and noticed that there were comments questioning the veracity of the story/photos (including from your ex) dating back to 2005. Your new commenter is definitely slow on the uptake.
That photo of the dead hiker with the gnawed leg made me think of the Roman proverb my buddy Mike had wanted me to translate into Chinese years ago: “When your luck runs out, it doesn’t matter how big your dick is.” I ended up turning that into a tee-shirt design over at CafePress. (Still on sale!)
For what it’s worth: it may be bullshit to connect the bear-hunt photos with the dead-hiker photo, but I’d say the dead hiker was legitimately killed and gnawed on by a bear of some sort. Unless there’s a particularly vicious strain of deer out there… which reminds me: do a Google Image search on “vampire deer” if you want to see something strange and wonderful. I have a photo of a Korean vampire-deer carcass over at my Kevin’s Walk 2 blog. Do a search for “deer” on that blog and scroll down a ways.)
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 05/August/2020 @ 3:16 pm
Yeah, that’s the troublesome aspect, here: you two now have to practice a certain level of deceit, even though your relationship will basically be an open secret. There’s also the complicating factor that Iline’s guy will eventually find out (from someone) what’s now going on, and what’s more: if Iline is willing to be unfaithful to her guy, what’s to stop her from one day being unfaithful to you? That’s the problem with dating cheaters. You can rationalize this by saying, “Well, she’s on her way out of that relationship, anyway,” but that doesn’t remove the stain. She’s still in that relationship, like it or not (just ask her far-off guy). This isn’t something that can be wished away. And that’s why I say this is the road leading to unnecessary drama.
The easiest solution would be for Iline to break up with her current guy, making clear to both him and you where she now stands. Leaving her current guy hanging is needlessly cruel.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 05/August/2020 @ 5:49 pm
In answer to Fernando Pessoa and his paragraph on painful counterfactuals:
For all we ought to have thought
but have not thought
For all we ought to have said
but have not said
For all we ought to have done
but have not done
I pray thee, God, for forgiveness
—Ibn Fadlan (Antonio Banderas), “The Thirteenth Warrior”» Posted By Kevin Kim On 04/August/2020 @ 11:11 pm
Great pics of the trail, but cell-phone cameras really don’t do the moon justice, do they. God knows I’ve tried with my own phone.
Women can figure things out via intuition, even when two lovers make an effort to stand innocently apart. Rumors will fly all the same. Such is life in a small town, with small-town-minded people.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 04/August/2020 @ 6:37 pm
Mary’s a parasite who still doesn’t get that her brand of black magic is no longer working on you. Interesting combination of street-smart and people-stupid. She needs to work on what Koreans call nunchi, the perceptive ability to read people. Her desperation indicates she hasn’t found any new johns (sic) yet.
“Things started off with a bang when Iline came to the house. I suppose that’s a double entendre, but yes we did.”
If you’re saying what I think you’re saying… congratulations, I guess? I think you’ve chosen the road that leads to unnecessary drama, but if Iline’s the one leading this dance, well, have fun for as long as it lasts.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 03/August/2020 @ 2:13 pm
De-lousing yourself of the parasitic Mary seems like a good move. Pining for Iline the Unavailable, not so much. Staying in the Friend Zone is the way to go until you find a quality lady of your own. No need to unnecessarily “soap-operatize” your life by turning the Friend Zone into the Constant Temptation Zone. That road leads only to stupidity and useless drama.
In a different comment thread, you called yourself your own worst critic when it came to relationship gaffes. I think we, your faithful readers, will believe that when we see you actually recognizing the danger signs and avoiding the pitfalls. So find yourself a woman of Iline’s quality and character, but don’t be the guy who tries to tempt Iline away from her current man. That would be selfish and destructive.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 01/August/2020 @ 9:36 pm
Oh, yeah—what’s with the change in spelling from “Ilene” to “Iline”? Is the second spelling the correct, updated one? The International Society of Proofreaders of Blogs Written by Over-60 Expats in the Philippines really wants to know. You don’t want to piss off the ISPBWBO60EP.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 31/July/2020 @ 9:55 pm
At least it wasn’t the worst of times. Thanks for the pic of the carbs.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 31/July/2020 @ 6:51 pm
What I really want, though, would be pics of the food!
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 31/July/2020 @ 11:11 am
Here’s hoping you and Ilene have a good, pleasant, no-grope lunch free of any ulterior schemes for getting into poor Ilene’s pants.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 30/July/2020 @ 4:09 pm
Terry cracks me up.
Sorry, John. I really shouldn’t be laughing.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 30/July/2020 @ 12:17 am
To quote myself from a few days ago:
“Just make sure you aren’t being played. She may be only twenty, but she also may be a lot more worldly and wily than she’s letting on.”
Sigh… some of us saw this coming a mile away.
It’s time to start thinking with the head that contains a brain.
And here’s an important thing to remember: you were just about fucked over by a woman… but your ass got saved by a woman, too. There’s a lesson in that.
Be a better judge of quality and character. That means not letting the Johnson do John’s thinking.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 29/July/2020 @ 9:59 pm
Is there a nearby shower for the recipient of the “birthday cake” to use? Or does s/he simply go home caked in cake?
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 28/July/2020 @ 4:54 pm
«« Back To Stats PageFine-looking views, and a fine-looking pork chop. Not so sure I needed to see Rock Bottom, but when you visit Long Time Gone, there’s always some measure of risk.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 27/July/2020 @ 2:55 pm