FUCK ME!

Walking my blues away. It didn’t work yesterday. I’ll try again today.

In my long and storied history of failed love relationships, none were shorter than the one with Loraine, which lasted all of about 24 hours.

On Saturday we had chatted and expressed our excitement with our new boyfriend/girlfriend status.  We exchanged some email, the last of which from Loraine stated:

My dearest John.I am very happy and yes.We need to be strong and face the challenges to keep our relationship work and keep the love more stronger. I Love You more John.

And then on Sunday she disappeared again.  I feared the worst, that she was back with Kev.  I frantically sent her messages and tried to call her, all to no avail.  Finally, after several hours she sent me a photo and said she was at the mall.  With who? I asked.  She said she was alone, then disappeared again.  A couple of hours later she claimed to still be at the mall.  I asked her if she was committed to me, and she replied “to you, and you only”.  Finally she sent a message late that night saying she was going home and for me to get some rest.  She still would not answer my calls or messages.  So, I knew in my heart what she had done.
I didn’t hear from her again until lunchtime today.  I had sent a ton of messages and all but begged her to respond.  She finally did and my worst fears were confirmed.  Yes, she was with Kev.  He promised to marry her, adopt her daughter, and move them to the UK.  So, it was over with me.
I’m still reeling.  I guess I could understand and accept that she felt like she had a better opportunity.  But the lies and deceit were like twisting the knife in my shattered heart.  I’m actually devastated and not sure what to do next.  Well, nothing I can do be start trying to get over it.
When we first got together as GF/BF she told me it was an answer to her prayers.  I guess the Lord truly does work in mysterious ways.  I couldn’t sleep last night and I prayed for wisdom and comfort (I never pray except when I know I’m in deep trouble spiritually and emotionally).  So I’m taking comfort in knowing that I found out how little my love for her meant sooner rather than later.  I wasted 7 years on the last wife.
My acceptance philosophy is overwhelmed right now.  God help me.

The lonely and barren road to future. Whatever that may be.

5 thoughts on “FUCK ME!

  1. Damn, man. Women are your kryptonite. Don’t know what to say except that I’m sorry to read of this turn of events. Turd of events, more like. Ugh.

    Hang in there. You can weather this.

  2. I felt for you John….you don’t deserve such women…we are here for you! Your avid readerrs to always sympathize with u for better or for worse…she been decieving you from the start…how could she engaged in a man that quick if ever…accept the reality…and move on…

  3. Damn it John! As I was reading this I kept waiting for the punchline or positive plot twist…sorry to read about this turn of events.

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