Hoo boy, yesterday’s Hash was a pisser. I might bitch and moan about a trail that is too long, steep, or otherwise exceedingly difficult. But that’s the Hare’s prerogative. What I can’t countenance though is being unnecessarily placed in danger. And in my view that happened not once, but twice, on yesterday’s Hash. It actually made me angry at the Hare’s irresponsibility. I would never knowingly lay a trail where normal caution and diligence are not enough to prevent serious injury.

Okay, well no one got hurt yesterday, so there’s that. I exercised prudence by declining to follow the trail into danger on the two occasions mentioned above. So yeah, I took responsibility for my own safety but I was mad about having to look for an alternative route and it pretty much ruined any enjoyment I might have otherwise had. And I vowed to never go on a trail laid by that Hare (Two Bottles) again.

And that’s pretty much where the enjoyment ended. Because I was faced with this:

Another thing I don’t personally like are checkpoints. This is where at an intersection of paths, the Hare requires you to pursue all possibilities until you find the “true trail”. Now, you might get lucky and guess right the first time. Otherwise you’ll have to walk a hundred yards or so looking for trail marks. If you don’t find any you have to retreat and try the next alternative. If you are in a group you can send one person off in each direction and when (if) they find the trail mark they yell “on-on” and everyone goes that way. It just seems like a pointless waste of time to me, but some Hares and Hashers seem to think it makes for a more interesting trail.

Anyway, there were at least two checkpoints on yesterday’s trail. I guessed right the first time, but didn’t even see the second one. After going on for awhile without seeing any Hash marks I retreated to see where I’d lost the trail. And that’s when I discovered the checkpoint. Well, I’d already eliminated one of the options, so I headed on down and sure enough I was “on-on”. Still, I had a bad feeling about this path. It was eerily familiar and not in a good way. And sure enough my fears were soon confirmed. It was the trail that led through a creek bed that includes an 8 foot waterfall drop off you are expected to climb down. I bitched about that loud and long the first time I experienced it. If I had known this was that trail again before my descent I’d have aborted then and there.

Actually, it was even worse this time around. The rocks were wet and slippery. I knew with one false step and I’d likely break a leg. But here there was no easy walk around. I eventually decided to move to the other side of the waterfall, sit on my ass, and slide/crawl down. Because of tree limbs rocks and roots, that was no easy task. I made it with everything intact except maybe my dignity.

Anyway, once out of harm’s way I shortcut the remainder of the trail (actually the flat part I was going to use next week) and headed on-home to Johan’s on Baloy Beach.

And at the conclusion of the Hash circle, I asked the Johan’s mascot for a little assistance:

(Sung to the tune of the Mickey Mouse Club song)

S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L

Shitty trail (it sucked)

Shitty trail (it really sucked)

The Hare has laid another shitty trail

I would rather drink this beer than hike your shitty trail

S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L

UPDATE: Haha! I used the “worst trail ever” title just last month. But that wasn’t a Hash trail. And yesterday’s was worse!