Friday felt like I ran out of gas. Today, I just feel old and tired.
I’m also dealing with a sore throat, some acid reflux, and a feeling of lethargy (did I spell laziness wrong?). Took a longer than normal nap and now I’m just going tough it out until I feel young again.
I kind of had a nothing-burger of a Saturday night. I invited Swan to join me for dinner, but she was busy with a tutoring session. She promised we’d have a date next weekend. So, I made my way to Sloppy Joe’s and drowned my loneliness in some San Miguel Zeros. The cute little waitress from Sit-n-Bull brought me a menu, so I ordered a chicken burger for dinner. I had a couple of beers at Alaska, then a couple more at Wet Spot, and I called it a night and was home by 8 p.m. Told you I was old!
I’m going to test the leg again later this afternoon with a hike to Hideaway for the Sunday feeding. We’ll see how I feel after that.
In other news, it was good to see one of my former dart mates has made it to the pro level. Back in my glory days, I was his mentor, well, tor-mentor, usually kicking his ass in our matches. But he kept getting better, and I didn’t, and the last year I played in Seoul, he got his revenge by dominating me.
This is the best pun I could find today:
Here’s hoping for a better tomorrow.
Monday’s a national holiday in Korea—the last national holiday until Christmas: Hangeul Day. On the assumption that Monday isn’t a national holiday where you are, I hope you’ll take the time to go see your docs and get checked out. The more I think about it, the more I think Rascal’s theory might have some application to your situation. Maybe lead with that when you’re at the docs’ place.
Knee Buckling: 4 Reasons
Knee Buckling: 5 Causes
Weak in the Knees: Causes and Solutions
7 Reasons for Knee Buckling
Many of the above sources mention multiple sclerosis as a possibility. You mentioned this, too, so you’ve already done some reading around. Sorry if the above is repetitive.
I’m also starting to think that some of your other commenters were right to take a cynical view of Swan’s intentions: you’re now essentially paying rent on a place where she can continue to reside… and I assume you’re also paying her since she’s now your employee. Sweet deal for her. I’ve tried to see Swan as overall classier than the usual bottom-of-the-barrel chick you go for, but if your more cynical commenters are right, she’s just a different subspecies of the same species. What a shame.
And since I’m writing this sort of comment, I’m glad she doesn’t read your blog (as far as you know).
I never read the book, but I saw the John Malkovich/Glenn Close version of “Dangerous Liaisons” long ago. Glenn Close’s character offers a challenge to Malkovich’s character, and if he succeeds at the challenge, she has to put out for him. He does succeed… but she refuses to put out. I’ve been thinking about that story as I witness the slow evolution of your relationship with Swan. More and more, I feel as if Swan is stringing you along. I predict that, sometime around Christmas or New Year’s, I’m going to be suggesting that you give her the boot as both a resident and an employee.
Which sends us back to square one, and to the old advice: lead a higher-quality life, attract higher-quality women. If your world is nothing but bars-bars-bars, and you can’t imagine anything greater, you may as well stop pining for the substantive relationship you seem to crave. You’re not going to find what you want there.
Kev, thanks for the links. I’d seen some, but not these in particular. The reason I don’t think it is an injury is the intermittent nature of the weakness. It seems to kick in around 1K on flat ground and sooner on climbs. After a little rest, I’m back to “normal” and feel none of the symptoms in normal movements around the house. I will schedule a consult with the docs ASAP.
I still don’t ascribe any bad intentions or motivations to Swan. We are both finding our way, and whether that way leads us to being a couple remains to be seen. I do think there has been progress in that regard, but obviously, I’m still not satisfied with the arrangement. I’ll give it some more time, although perhaps not until the end of the year. In the meantime, she is working around the house and earning her pay.
As for me, yeah, perhaps my final destiny is finding whatever comfort that comes with the bar life. This is my last hoorah attempting a normal relationship. I literally am too old for this shit.
Kevs links were very enlightening. I wish i.had seen this long ago
Kev is definitely a fine internet sleuth! I hope you are doing okay, Jerry.