Well, I was all prepared to do a post about the murder of an expat yesterday with the help of criminal defense attorneys from The Law Offices ff Michael H. Pham in Houston .The early details were pretty gruesome–including child molestation allegations and an ice pick in the head. I even had one of my witty headlines almost worked out; something along the lines of “take your pick and shove it!” Alas, the effort was all for naught because it turns out the rumored homicide did not, in fact, occur. That’s a good thing of course. I didn’t know the guy personally and what I have heard about him wasn’t good–turning people into immigration for visa violations–but a violent death is certainly not warranted for the crime of being an asshole. Allegedly.
Anyway, back to reality. Sometimes it feels like my life is a bit of a joke, and that’s no laughing matter. The reality of it all though is pretty much what my faithful readers see here on a daily basis–I’m just filling in the hours, however comfortably and well. Damn, it’s almost like I’m living one of my favorite Hemingway stories: A Clean Well-Lighted Place. What’s even scarier is that a quick search of the archives reveals that I was writing about this story fifteen years ago after a crazy night in Itaewon. Back then I had a lot more staying power, that’s for sure. I never even make it to midnight now. Anyway, if you want to read the short story, here it is. Or if you prefer, you can watch the story acted out in this YouTube video (less than 15 minutes long, it is a short story after all.)
As long as I am in uploading mode, I got a kick out of this 15 seconds of goodness:
So, I played darts in the singles tournament last night. Threw decently, but was as inconsistent as ever. Faced off against Billy in the winner’s bracket finals and lost a hard-fought match. I usually don’t care, but I hated losing that one because I left the door wide open for her to come back and beat me. When it came time to play my loser’s bracket match, I just conceded the game, took third place money, and left. I don’t recall ever doing that before. I just wasn’t feeling like playing anymore, so I didn’t.
I left Alley Cats and hoofed it over to Sit-n-Bull for some nourishment. The pulled pork sandwich (with coleslaw) was one of the daily specials, so that’s what I had. Delicious as usual. After eating, I caught a trike and headed home. In bed before 9:00 p.m. I guess those Itaewon marathon nights are nothing but a memory now. That’s okay, this is my new life. Such as it is.
Well, I managed to craft a post out of almost nothing. Then again, I’ve got a lot of experience doing that lately. And now, finally, the moment you’ve undoubtedly been waiting for:
This is it.
(see what I did there?)
At least your day sounds better than an ice pick in the brain.
I don’t know. Some assholes may indeed deserve death. Too many oxygen thieves in the world (as an Aussie coworker of mine used to say).
Yes, avoiding an ice pick in the brain is one of life’s underrated pleasures. Don’t want to judge the guy too harshly since I don’t know him personally though.