The Wednesday Walkers group yesterday consisted of one other participant and me. So, I took her for a 6K street walk and fed her some lunch when we finished.
I have nothing further to report regarding my status in Lydell’s life. I don’t have a clue what is going on. I guess that says more than enough about where we are. Or are not.
I had a 15% discount coupon for Sit-n-Bull, so decided to splurge for last night’s feeding at Hideaway. A big lasagna dinner for Joy, chicken wings, chicken fingers, and lumpia for the girls, and a box of Choco Pies for dessert. Everything got eaten, so I guess they must have liked the meal.
When I’d had my fill of beers at Hideaway, I went out in search of a place to enjoy a nightcap. It occurred to me it had been a while since my last visit to Alaska Club, so I made that my destination.
Several months ago, I had met an interesting dancer there named Marissa. And then she disappeared. She was back last night and remembered me more than I did her. It was nice to get reacquainted. Marissa told me she had been back in her hometown (Bacolod City, Visayas) building a house. I asked if she had a foreigner sponsor, and she said no, she was using the money she had saved while working at Alaska. That’s why she’s back now, to earn more to finish the house and open a business. Pretty impressive. She also found my jokes hilarious, which either means I’m funny as hell or that she is very good at her job.
Oh, and I saw John Kim (the foodie guy) at Alaska playing in the pool tournament. He looked a lot better, and the fact that he was out of his recliner and moving around is a positive development.
On the subject of illness, I came across this article talking about COPD and mental health issues: Not being isolated helps people with COPD maintain good mental health. Speaking from personal experience, I was crazy long before I was diagnosed, so I’m not seeing the connection. But that said, I do get out and about and have some social connections (as reported in today’s post, for example). True, they are shallow and meaningless, but maybe so am I. Still, I crave a relationship like I had with Jee Yeun–someone to share my life with and take care of me. Of course, we saw how that turned out. Well, that breakup led me here, for better or worse. If the COPD doesn’t kill me, something else will. The challenge is holding out as long as possible. I’d like to experience 80 before I die. It’s good to have goals!
Glad to know John Kim seems to be doing better. I hope this isn’t temporary.
I think in general, not only for people with COPD, isolation is bad for mental health.
Obviously everyone is different, but people need people. We are social animals.
Far from feeling sorry for yourself, you should be proud 👏
not only did you have an outdoor fun date with a beautiful girl in the afternoon, but you also took her out for lunch afterwards. She spent the day with you, doing what you love. If I recall correctly, you’ve been known to lament the absence of a woman in your life who shares your hobbies and proclivities.
But of course, your other hobby is drinking 🍸 and for that you had a date with 2 separate girls . You bought them meals, ogled them and entertained them with your famous jokes. They too, share your proclivities. They like eating and drinking 🍸 with you.
For good or bad, these are your weekly dates. There may be a shortage of romance, except for when one or more of these ladies visit your house from time to time, but make no mistake , these do count as dates. The man pays, the woman eats and drinks 🍸 and she does or doesn’t put out. I’m sure you make some time to lament the lack of intimacy even after spending quite some change wining and dining these ladies . But we both know that financially you’ve done very well for yourself, and the first world -third world dichotomy makes it that you’re much wealthier anyway.
Now, this recent woman that you’re failing to court knows all these facts. No filipina would allow herself to lose face like that, by presumably being a steady lover to someone who’s quite literally having 3 dates on average day. She’d have to be on the desperate side to allow insert herself into such a mess. Of course you’d promise to pause all these activities should she agree to go steady with you, but from the outside looking in, people will quite literally pity her for debasing herself. You see, you don’t announce when your friends with benefits program is on pause, and you don’t ever really stop going to bars even when you’re shackled to a girlfriend, so the people 🤷 who barely know you will pity your girlfriend who seems to have no idea. Even if she does know about these activities, they’d wonder why she would involve herself in such a messy situation.
In a way, you know all of this and it serves your purpose very well, because by being so intertwined with so many people around town, you avoid the actual romantic entanglement with one actual real girlfriend. This way, you get to have your cake and eat it….or rather , ogle a young woman shoving your cake into her mouth.
Your frequent lamentations about wanting or needing a constant woman who shares your proclivities are just wishful thinking, because your proclivities by nature require that you spend time with your favorite bargirls around town , but still hold yourself above the so-called bar monger because you give generously and according to their needs, and therefore avoid the naked transaction that others call the barfine. Besides , you live there so you get repeat visits from your favorites, so you’re more of a connoisseur, or friend , or benefactor…..or whatever label you’d prefer , other than John.
All the foregoing is clearly only gleaned from your writing here. You’re more than your blog , and you should reserve your right to define who you are. More importantly, you should be proud and accepting of who you are, what you do and how you do it. Others may not understand or accept or even like who you are and what you do and how you do it. The woman who joined may be amongst the former, and you can appreciate how that might make a deeper romantic interlude tricky. But you’ve got money in your pocket, and that may be deep enough.
As for the rest of the others, those with whom you desire no interludes of any kind, their chatter should not be of any consequence to you. and yes, that includes this lengthy prattle.
As you were
Nice to see you in the comments again, Ted. I always appreciate your insights.
I think you make some valid points. It’s true I probably don’t appreciate the life I have as much as I should, and that I spend too much time worrying about not having the life I *think* I want.
It could also be true that doing what I do to pass the time creates an image of who I am that repels potential mates. I have had new acquaintances say that I’m considered a “butterfly.” I don’t believe the evidence supports that characterization, but if that’s how people see you, the truth is irrelevant.
I guess I’ll just keep waiting for someone who loves and accepts me as I am. Or more likely, die alone. In the meantime, I’ll enjoy myself the best way I know how.
Thanks again for your thoughtful comment.
Brian, that was my thought too as I read the article: How are isolation issues related to COPD? I get that poor mental health likely impacts physical health, but that’s true for all conditions not just COPD.
Yeah, seeing John sprawled out in that recliner at his restaurant was very disconcerting. Seeing him up and around and doing something he enjoys was reassuring.