The Candy Run | Long Time Gone

A pretty exciting day with the Hash. As I mentioned yesterday, this run was all about the children. We walked the streets passing out Christmas joy in the form of candy. The kids seemed to enjoy it!

It was a short trail (4 kms) all on pavement so I was able to convince Marissa to join in on the fun. She’ll tag along when I walk Buddy and sometimes will consent to walking back to her place (both take about 30 minutes) but otherwise she’s not much into hiking. Says the sun turns her brown. We actually had overcast skies yesterday and some drizzle so that wasn’t an issue. Justin also joined in, although he was technically not a virgin because he did the initiation ritual when he was here in September.

I spent a lot of time on the ice, one of the perils of bringing newbies into the circle. I got punished for their rookie mistakes. A made a couple of my own as well. I also got the Hashit (more on that later). Anyway, it’s all in good fun. I’ve got the photos to prove it!

***Introducing Marissa and Justin to Pubic Head, the SBH3 secretary/treasurer…***

***“Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus lane…”***

***The trail passed by Marissa’s place so I updated my stalker photo op…***

~~***Working***~~ ***Walking hard for the kiddies…***

***“Would you like some candy little girl?”***

***The Subic Bay Hash House Harriers Candy Run participants.***

With the candy all gone, we headed “on-home” to Midnight Rambler for the after Hash activities. We dined on curry chicken and rice…

After our meal, it was time to convene the Hash circle. I was looking forward to seeing Marissa’s initiation and her reaction to some of the bawdy songs and shit talk that makes the Hash the Hash.

The first order of business is to go around the circle and have everyone introduce themselves. When it got to Justin, who does not have a Hash name yet, the Grand Master (HIV) asked Justin who brought him and he responded “John”.

***That’s a major violation…we only use our Hash names in the circle. Since I was the sponsor I had to endure the punishment…***

And then it came time for Marissa’s initiation, along with two other females. When HIV was interviewing her, he asked her who her sponsor was…

…and she blurted out “John”. I was back on the ice. Marissa did feel badly about it though. Later we were doing a head count for next week’s attendance. I knew Tinkerbell wouldn’t be there so I announced: “Betty won’t be here”. Rookie mistake but the ice was waiting….

Anyway, part of the initiation is you have to guzzle a full bottle of beer without the bottle ever leaving your lips. As we say at the Hash, “it’s like a blowjob…what doesn’t go in you goes on you!” Marissa managed about half a bottle so I got to pour the remainder over her head. She was a good sport about it though.

Now for whatever reason HIV really took a liking to Marissa. He made several comments about her shirt emblazoned with the word “salty” on the front. And then is a rather unprecedented move, he decided to name her then and there (you normally have to complete five Hashes prior to being named.

So Marissa had to sit on the Ice during the naming ritual. HIV suggested a name and it was approved by acclimation of those present. So, henceforth at the Hash Marissa will be known as “Salty Cum”. Welcome to the Hash!

But the fun wasn’t over yet. HIV had been awarded the “Hashit” last week, so this week he got to choose who would receive the Hashit “honor”. And he chose me. I’m not exactly sure why, if he said I don’t remember. Probably a culmination of all the stupid stuff I had done that night.

*So, when you get the Hashit a toilet plunger is filled with beer and you have to drink it “down, down, down” while the Hashit song is sung….And what doesn’t go in you, goes on you of course…*

***“I got the hashit, the Subic hashit, for being stupid on trail today. I have to hold it until I pass it, won’t someone take my hashit away…”***

Anyway, it was quite a night!

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