What a day yesterday turned out to be. I never left the house, not even for the dog walk. I was just running on empty energy-wise and had seemingly zero lung capacity. Walking to the toilet and back would leave me practically breathless. Previously, even my worst breathing attacks would pass relatively quickly once I sat down and rested some. Not this time–I was wiped out all day and all night long. Laying down seemed to exacerbate the situation, so I sat on the couch in front of the TV, finally moving to the bedroom and getting a couple of hours sleep around 4:30 a.m.–my usual wake-up time.

I don’t want to be overly dramatic, but in the back of my mind, I couldn’t help but think, “Is this how it is going to end for me?” Of course, I’m still in the fight, but I hope I never experience those feelings of helplessness again.

I’d been using my usual devices throughout the day, especially my nebulizer, but to little effect.

When beer o’clock rolled around, I decided I should get tanked.

I’d never used bottled air before (except in the hospital), and I was relieved to see my oximeter hit 97 after a few minutes of breathing in some imported air. And then, a few minutes after I stopped the ingestion, I’d drop back down to the low 90s. So, I was sucking air off and on all evening, and then Swan noticed that my just-purchased tank was running low. She said I needed to get a larger tank. Well, yeah, but it was now midnight. My helper, Teri, who is a certified caregiver, suggested I take an ambulance to Baypointe Hospital’s emergency room. I told her there was no way I was going to do that as long as I was conscious. Suffice it to say, I’ve not been inspired by the competence I’ve witnessed at that institution, and I wasn’t willing to sit around in an ER at o’dark-thirty waiting to be cured. And actually, other than ingesting oxygen, I don’t know what else can be done for this situation.

Anyone, Swan got on the phone and called a friend whose husband uses oxygen and she said they had an extra tank available. Cool, I was impressed that at this late hour they were even willing to be bothered trying to help. I guess the plan was to have their private trike deliver the tank, but Swan came back a bit later and said the tank was too large for the trike. Oh well. So, I was surprised when about thirty minutes later a pickup truck pulled up in front of my house and two guys rolled this into my living room:

So, I survived the night, and I feel somewhat better today. I still haven’t left the house, but I’m ingesting air now whenever I have the urge. Dr. Jo is supposed to make a house call later (they live in the neighborhood), and I hope to consult with her about what might be causing this flare-up (is it an exacerbation of my COPD or something else?) and whether there is any magic formula that will allow me to breathe freely.

The day wasn’t a total loss, though. I fired up Netflix and binge-watched most of Season 4 of Manifest. I viewed Seasons 1-3 early last year, and then Season 4, the final season, was released last November. I saw thirteen of the twenty episodes yesterday. I was amazed that I never got sleepy. Even when I finally went to bed, I didn’t feel tired; I just knew I needed to get some rest. Coming from someone like me, who is famous for being asleep a nine every night, that’s pretty damn miraculous! Still, I prefer my customary daily rituals. I will breathe easier once I know I can be out and about spreading pesos in the bars again.

I’m hopeful the girls at Hideaway won’t be going hungry tonight. That will be contingent on me having the lung capacity to walk to the far side of town. I’ll let you know how that works out tomorrow.

Check back here tomorrow for the latest updates.