That pretty much sums up my yesterday.
The planned hike from Naugsol to Tibag didn’t work out as intended. We somehow failed to connect with the trail we wanted and wound up on a dead-end path. That’s part of the adventure sometimes, and overall, the journey was quite pleasant. Just not the one we planned. Next time we are going to start in Tibag which should make finding our way back somewhat easier. We’ll see. I’ll share some photos from the trek at the end of this post.
After the hike, some of the group planned to get together at the Car Wash, but I declined to participate in that because I didn’t want to see the ex. I just didn’t feel ready to deal with those emotions. Turns out she wasn’t there at the time, but that’s how it goes.
I also planned to play darts as usual on Friday night. Except it turned out we didn’t have enough players show up to hold a tournament. Oh well, I sponsored a game of super cricket for the girls to compete in with a 500 peso prize for the winner. My plan was for it to be just for the girls, but one of the guys there wound up playing, and he won. Damn it! I bought the girls all a drink instead. And to his credit, I think the winner shared the 500 with the other girls too.
With the dart plans foiled, a group of us guys decided to visit a new bar in town called Lux.
I’ll need to go back and do a full review for the Bars of Barretto series, but Lux was very nice inside. It has a pool table, lots of comfortable seating, a dance stage for a future that allows dancers, and some very cute waitresses in sexy uniforms. I’m guessing they will do well.
I wasn’t ready to go home yet but didn’t really have a plan for the rest of my Friday night. I decided to drop by the Outback bar and say hello to my bartender friend, Bhel. Except the place was packed. Some type of big pool tournament or something. I turned around and walked back out. Now what? I thought I’d give Queen Victoria a try. Except before I even got in the door I could hear one of the bargirls singing karaoke loudly and badly. I was in no mood for that kind of noise, so I stopped and went back out to the highway.
I could see the Car Wash which is practically across the street from Queen Victoria, but I had no plans to go there. I crossed the highway in the other direction and wound up standing in front of the Whiskey Girl bar. The manager, Jonnie Tango, beckoned me to come inside. I had a beer and he chatted with me some, offering some words of support. I appreciated it but wasn’t feeling the vibe in there so I finished my beer and said my goodnights.
I guess the beer bravery kicked in because I said “fuck it” to myself and decided to stroll past the Car Wash to see what I could see. Dick wasn’t there. The ex was sitting with two female customers at the outside counter. I also saw a couple I know seated at the outside table and on impulse decided to pop in and join them.
The ex ignored me at first, but eventually, she turned around and we made eye contact. I gave her a warm greeting and she nodded in return. My friends ordered a pizza to go and then left to visit another bar while it was being prepared. I offered the ex a beer and she accepted. When her friends left, she joined me at the table. And we talked. And talked. For a couple of hours, all told. And I think we came to an understanding about what had happened. I mean, we still blamed each other for the abrupt ending, but at least we better understood our motivations for what had occurred.
Ready for some photos?
Overall, a satisfactory day despite the foiled plans. Maybe sometimes leaving things to chance is the best approach. As long as you keep your eyes wide open.
That “karma” proverb is nonsense. Americans, in particular, love to do this thing where they break up, then get back together, break up, then get back together. “Oh, now, we’re just friends,” they tell everyone. But, no: what usually happens is they get back in with their shit relationship, start fighting, then break up again. It’s a long cycle of stupidity and wasted time. Don’t reenter the vortex. Seek someone else. This is over.
Or, hey—have at it and waste more time! You have all the time in the world, right? At age 66?
Seems like the hike fit the saying – “Its the journey, not the destination”
Sounds like a good day, all in all.
Kev, Harsh but fair. I’m not exactly sure what I’m doing or going to do at this point. The grim reality is that almost all my time is wasted, I just try to salvage as much satisfaction from those wasted moments as possible. That’s why I was so distressed when the whole bargirl companionship thing lost its appeal.
Anyway, eyes wide open. Failure is as likely or not. I’m going to protect my heart as much as I am able wherever this leads. But yeah, I get what you are saying. And you aren’t the only one. I got a dose of “tough love” talk last night from a friend here last night. I’m a stubborn idiot though. That’s the worse kind of stupid.
Dear John,
I”ve been busy attempting to be a gourmet (since no interest in those hoes of mine) so belated Happy New Year.
You appear to be like the proverbial moth to a flame. But, remember, respite from your woes can still be had at Wet Spot for ₱5000 l/t. Even less s/t (and only half goes to Daddy).
I can see this is the same “Thanks for your opinion, but I’m going to do what I’m going to do, anyway” response you gave Brian in the other thread.
Follow your heart, I guess, but you’ve been warned multiple times by people who care.
Actually, that’s not really true. The insights and perspectives you guys provide really do open my eyes to things. Outwardly, perhaps my behavior doesn’t appear to change, but my mental outlook is much more in keeping with the realities noted in your comments. I’m keeping my eyes wide open and will not be suckered into believing what I want to believe rather than what things are. I’m hopeful this approach will allow me to proceed with caution and avoid potential heartbreak in the future. Or maybe I’m delusional. One of those.
Dave, you crack me up! Nice to hear from you again. And yes, it is good to have a Plan B in the event of any (inevitable?) future failure.
I vote “delusional” at this point. This is the same John Mac who recently wrote:
“It was a revelation to me to see just how heartless and unfeeling she can be. That I was blind to that until now is worrisome and perhaps doesn’t bode well for my future efforts to find a true and lasting love.”
Yet here you are, ready for another beating. I’m beginning to think you love this sort of pain, and further, you love the disapproval from your commenters because it amounts to attention. Well, for my part, I’m going to go back to not commenting on relationship matters since it’s obvious you’re determined not to listen or learn. I’ll continue to comment on hiking and darts and bars, etc., but there’s really no point in offering insights about the more unsavory aspects of your life. You say your inward reality has changed because of the comments, but your behavior has changed not at all, and actions speak louder than words.
Kev, the comments are a sounding board, and the feedback I get and appreciate isn’t about attention as much as gaining insights and perspectives from people I respect and admire, like you. I do listen and consider those viewpoints, even if you don’t outwardly see a change in behavior.
For example, you’ve often talked about the generational aspects of our age difference and how I need to incorporate that factor into my thinking about her behavior. When we had our long and unanticipated talk the other night, she admitted that she sometimes says things in anger she doesn’t really mean. And I had a “when I was your age” moment. I had a fiery and largely uncontrolled temper as a young man and often said things that I came to regret later. That’s not making an excuse for her behavior, but it gave me cause to be a bit more understanding and forgiving. That’s just one example of the value I derive from your comments.
Anyway, my eyes are wide open and my guard is up. With the insights I’ve gained, I’ll be able to better deal with whatever the future brings. In the past couple of days, she’s revealed how much she wants to have a baby and also how she’d like to move back to Japan in the future. Neither of those dreams is something I can participate in, so I recognize there may already be an expiration date on the relationship. I can accept that. I just didn’t like breaking up in anger and regret.
Anyway, I’m not saying you’re wrong and I’m right or anything like that. I’m just making my way as best as I am able. For the moment at least, I deem my life better with her than without her. That’s subject to change. I hope you’ll continue to offer your sage advice and know that it is valued, even when it appears to be ignored.
Thanks for being an honest friend.