Welp, one typhoon leaves town, and another is on the way.
Here in my little town, we’ve had localized street flooding, downed trees, and some mudslides.
My first stop on the night was old darts hangout, Alley Cats. No, I’ve not taken up the game again. I just dropped in to say goodbye to Nancy, who is moving on to a new life in Olongapo after five years in the bar.
I so rarely visit Alley Cats it kind of felt like coming home again after a long journey. I was the only customer, so I rang the bell and bought the staff a lady drink. And then I bought them another for old times’ sake.
It was a pleasant visit, and the 2000 pesos I spent there plying my old friends with lady drinks felt like money well spent.
My next stop was Sloppy Joe’s. It wasn’t really my intended destination, but as I paused out front, standing under my umbrella in the rain, Chris bought me a beer. How could I refuse?
And it was incredible watching the highway out front start flooding right before our eyes.
Next stop for me and my soaked shoes was Thumbstar, a bar I don’t care for much. But the SOB had been canceled due to the weather, and in a misguided effort to compete with that event, Thumbstar offers a Friday night “buy one, get one” on food and beverages. They do have decent food, I was hungry, and they were close, so the decision was easy.
After I sat down, my waitress advised that the buy one, get one offer only applied to the first drink. I didn’t care so much about that; I wasn’t going to stay long; I just wanted to eat. I ordered chicken shawarmas and chicken wings. My order took a long time, so I asked the waitress to check on the status. She returned and said that the kitchen had overcooked the wings and was making a fresh batch. I asked her to bring me the shawarmas while I waited. She came back with one, and I asked where the other was. It turns out she had misunderstood my order, thinking I wanted to buy one shawarma and get one order of wings. Nope, two of each. So, I eventually got all I had asked for and gave the wings to my waitress to share with the other gals. Two shawarmas were enough for me.
I bailed on Thumbstar as soon as I finished eating and headed to the nearby Whiskey Girl bar. The rain was still falling, and the highway was still flooded, but at some point, you stop caring. I only saw one other customer when I arrived, and he had called all the dancers down from the stage to join him for drinks at his table. I sat down at a table in front of the empty stage, where I was soon joined by my favorites, Jen and Kim, one on each side, kind of like white meat on a brown bread sandwich. These two gals are entertaining to drink and joke with, and I do enjoy their company. In a completely platonic way, of course. That’s not to say they are unattractive (especially Kim, who’s a real cutie), but I just don’t roll that way. Even if I was single. So, after a couple of drinks and some laughs, I paid up and headed home.
Earlier on Friday, some prospective tenants visited my place but decided it was too small for their needs. Oh well, the agent says she has a couple more foreigners who are interested. I remain hopeful a replacement will be found before I check out.
I also had a rare visit from a postal worker delivering a package from Korea.
It’s funny, I posted the above photo on my Facebook page, and it has been burning down the house. Over 80 likes so far (ten times the typical response I receive) from all over the world and seventeen approving comments. I think we may have discovered an untapped market for shirts bearing this message.
Another pleasant coffee stop with my sweetie Swan this morning.
I deemed it too wet to walk today, so I’ve spent a pretty quiet morning and afternoon at home. The schoolboy I sponsor in Bohol has come down with dengue fever, and I wired his mama some money for meds. Fifty bucks can make a big difference here. And yes, I recognize the irony of sending cash while wearing my new shirt, but this is someone I’ve been helping since I moved here, and she doesn’t abuse my generosity: school tuition and the occasional emergency. I can deal with that.
Glad to help when I can. Speaking of which, I got a message from MJ today that touched my heart.
I am so much Lucky
you are meet you my life because if you don’t have my life so much problem because I don’t know what happened with my kids thank you so much John always
because of you giving me more choices take care my kids with my kids stay safe
Always me too
thank you so much John always
thank you so much John
always big helping with me and my kids
It’s especially nice that this sentiment wasn’t attached to a request for more money. These two woman are my primary charity projects and my goal is to make a positive difference in their lives. You can’t help everyone, of course, but there is still satisfaction in knowing that at least some folks have a better life because I’m here. Or at least that’s what I strive for.
Okay, well enough about me, Jesus wouldn’t approve. Let’s get to the best part of today’s post–pictures from yesterday’s hike. Yes, we marched from Barretto, through Naugsol, and on to the Waltermart in Subic town. 8K in the wind and rain while wading through puddles. Good times!
And that was the way we rolled yesterday.
It’s almost beer o’clock now and still raining outside. Well, what are you gonna do, let a little water keep you from enjoying a Saturday night on the town? That ain’t the way I roll. I’ll likely have wet feet when I get back home but hopefully a smile on my face. Or at least I’ll be too drunk to care. One of those!
Girl, you gotta love your man Girl, you gotta love your man Take him by the hand Make him understand The world on you depends Our life will never end Gotta love your man, yeah Riders on the storm Riders on the storm Into this house we're born Into this world we're thrown Like a dog without a bone An actor out on loan. Riders on the storm
re: typhoon
Batten down them hatches!
It’s always nice to see my old favorite, Jerlyn, again, too.
You’re gonna have to tame that roving eye now that you’re Mr. Committed and no longer Mr. Swinging Single. Your mates might tell you there’s nothing wrong with photographing all these women, but what would Swan say? Does she read your blog?
And it was incredible watching the highway out front start flooding right before our eyes.
I thought Korea had drainage issues.
She returned and said that the kitchen had overcooked the wings and was making a fresh batch. I asked her to bring me the shawarmas while I waited. She came back with one, and I asked where the other was. It turns out she had misunderstood my order, thinking I wanted to buy one shawarma and get one order of wings.
I sympathize. Korean delivery constantly fucks up my orders.
the agent says she has a couple more foreigners who are interested.
Good luck with those foreigners.
I think we may have discovered an untapped market for shirts bearing this message.
Please feel free to send people to my Teespring site.
But if the river rises that much, I’m sure we’ll see the wildlife march by in twos…
You’ve probably heard this joke:
The rains are pouring down, and people are starting to evacuate, and when a pickup truck rolls by Old Joe’s place to offer Joe a ride, Joe says, “I’m not worried. God will save me.” The waters rise, and Joe retreats to the second floor of his place. A boat floats by, and when the boater offers Joe a ride out of town, Joe says, “I’m not worried. God will save me.” The waters continue to rise, and Joe ends up on his house’s rooftop. A helicopter flies over, and a guy with a bullhorn shouts down to ask Joe if he needs a lift. “I’m not worried!” Joe shouts back. “God will save me!” The helo flies off, and the waters continue to rise… Old Joe drowns. Finding himself before the Heavenly Throne, Joe grouses at the Almighty, “I had faith you would save me! What happened?” And God grouses back, “What do you want? I sent you a pickup, a boat, and helicopter!”
re: rainy walk
Yeah, it’s probably best to keep your walks short when there’s that much rain.
I’m not sure if that is good news or bad news for the rice farmers…
I don’t know what the harvest rhythm is like in eternally warm countries, but in Korea, that sort of flooding would be bad news for rice: rice paddies are supposed to be flooded in the spring, not the summer. By fall, all of that groundwater is gone, and the harvest begins.
Nearing Naugsol, two rivers collide…
In Hinduism, the churning confluence of two rivers is religiously significant.
The streets of Naugsol barangay
Okay, on your blog, I’ve seen “barangay” both capitalized and uncapitalized. Is it like how the word “city” can be a common noun or part of a proper noun?
– I’m off to the city.
– Mexico City is huge.
Here’s hoping the storms let up soon.
Seeing an old friend again and enjoying their company doesn’t really equate to a “roving eye.” Even back when I was a regular at Alley Cats, I didn’t engage in flirty behavior with Jerlyn. Most often, she would offer opinions and advice on my futile efforts in pursuit of Filipinas. I did mention to her that I’m seeing Swan now. And I’ve told Swan about the bargirls I drink with, although I didn’t specifically mention taking occasional photos. I do that for my blog readers as much as anything. I don’t believe Swan knows about my blog. If and when she discovers it, I’ll have to be much more discreet in what I write about our burgeoning relationship.
The flooding here is legendary. Also deadly. Lots more rain yesterday, and this morning I’m seeing Facebook posts with photos and videos of flooded houses. What a mess that must be. I’m blessed to live in Alta Vista. And yes, I’ve heard that joke, but it’s a good one and appropriate to the weather. I’ll use it next time I’m in the bars.
When I used barangay yesterday, I had that thought about my inconsistency in capitalization. I haven’t gotten a straight answer on when “barangay” should be capitalized. I asked Joy last night after seeing your comment, and she said, “Yes, but it doesn’t have to be.” That seems consistent with the way most things are done in this country. A cursory glance at Google showed the word both ways, so I still don’t know. My plan henceforth is to capitalize when referencing a particular place, like Barangay Barretto. In general use, “I’m going to the barangay today,” I won’t use the capital letter. Unless a grammar expert tells me otherwise. (Ha, Grammarly just advised me to capitalize barangay in this comment. It didn’t do that when I wrote yesterday’s post.)
Still raining this morning.
Seeing an old friend again and enjoying their company doesn’t really equate to a “roving eye.” … although I didn’t specifically mention taking occasional photos.
You can see why I’m thinking that something doesn’t add up here. From a girlfriend’s perspective, taking pics of other women, especially when you do it over and over again, doesn’t seem like a good thing to be doing when you’re in a committed relationship. Also: these “old friends” strike me as being of the rent-a-friend variety. Would they be “friends” at all if you had no money?
I don’t believe Swan knows about my blog. If and when she discovers it, I’ll have to be much more discreet in what I write about our burgeoning relationship.
So it sounds as if you don’t intend to tell her about this rather major aspect of your existence. She’s going to have to discover it for herself. Why is that?
You’re a great one for rationalizing, and it sometimes feels as if you deliberately blind yourself to certain cause-effect dynamics. So I’ll spell it out: in a committed relationship, taking pics of other women doesn’t lead anywhere good. If you really are as keen as you say about not wanting to fuck things up with Swan, you’ll have to stop with your general appreciation of womanhood in order to focus on the woman you claim to value. Hence my “roving eye” language. There is now only one woman for you, and she is your world. Your focus should be exclusively on her, even if she doesn’t want to be photographed. Thought experiment: what if you discovered a whole other side of Swan—one in which she’s got a blog and often displays photographs of guys she knows and is “just friends” with?
I mean, I’m a guy, too, and I’ve appreciated some of the photos you’ve put up of the occasional good-looking chica. But things are different in your life, now, so there’s a lot that’s going to have to change. If you’re already aware that Swan’s discovery of your blog will mean you’ll have to be more discreet, then on some level, you already understand what I’m talking about even if you can’t bring yourself to consciously acknowledge the truth. You still have an urge to continue in your old ways, but you need to appreciate just how much the real estate of your soul is going to have to be plowed over, re-planted, redeveloped, etc. for the sake of this new relationship. And we, your readers, are tough enough that we’ll get by if you stop posting pics of other young women. There’s still plenty in the Philippines to photograph.
The moral guideline should always be, “What would Swan think about what I’m doing?” There’s no more room for previous self-indulgences. Or so I think, anyway.
Thanks for the feedback, Kevin. Food for thought and things I need to consider as I move forward. I guess the fact that the bargirls don’t mean anything to me beyond drinking companionship perhaps makes me minimize the impact my interactions with them may have with an actual girlfriend. I do intend to be upfront and honest with Swan and at least give due consideration to any objections she raises.
That said, I’m not the type to subordinate who I am to appease unwarranted jealousy. Swan would be welcome to join me on any of my bar excursions; if she chooses not to do so, I don’t feel obligated to alter my activity. That said, I will not be going out every night like I currently do. I’m also considering doing something like playing darts again when I am out. I also plan to choose bars where buying lady drinks is not expected; that should alleviate many of the issues you raise here.
I think the issues with the blog would be more that I am invading her privacy by talking about our relationship. I mean, I’m using the fake name, and I haven’t posted photos, but still. I remember how Pearl got upset when she learned about the blog and I had to go back and make posts mentioning her unavailable to my readers (I’ve since reversed that decision). So, yeah, I’m going to need to consider whether my “diary” format is something worthwhile to continue.
I agree the “how would I feel if she did it” rule of thumb is a good standard for me assess my actions. And yes, as I begin to pull away from my old life, I’m starting to realize that I do, in fact, enjoy it. I believe the life I’m pursuing in a relationship with Swan will be better, but it will be an adjustment.
Bottom line: I intend to be honest and upfront with Swan about my actions. That said, I don’t want to disclose the blog because, in a weird way, I don’t see it as any of her business. I know that doesn’t make sense, but I really don’t want to lose the feedback I get from readers like you. For now, at least, she can find it on her own or not at all. I prefer the latter.
Lots to think about and consider. Thanks for getting me started.
That said, I’m not the type to subordinate who I am to appease unwarranted jealousy. Swan would be welcome to join me on any of my bar excursions; if she chooses not to do so, I don’t feel obligated to alter my activity.
There’s some of that Irish stubbornness coming out! But as you yourself note, you have to strike a balance:
I agree the “how would I feel if she did it” rule of thumb is a good standard for me assess my actions. And yes, as I begin to pull away from my old life, I’m starting to realize that I do, in fact, enjoy it. I believe the life I’m pursuing in a relationship with Swan will be better, but it will be an adjustment.
I understand wanting to keep a measure of privacy—of “me” space. And I can respect that. But to me, for a committed relationship, there are some things that obviously have to change. If the female companionship at bars is as meaningless as you say, why not make some male Filipino friends and hang with them? No: the reality is that there’s a subtle man-woman dynamic that you insist on continuing to enjoy, and for the life of me, I don’t get why since it’s all based on money, anyway, and therefore all artificial. Maybe you can help me understand why such meaningless associations remain important to you—especially when you now have a chance at something real and substantive.
That said, I don’t want to disclose the blog because, in a weird way, I don’t see it as any of her business.
Coming back to the “me” space issue: okay, I get that your blog may not be “any of her business.” But my internal pop psychoanalyst reads that and thinks, “Hmm… so we’ve got some deep trust issues here.” As you know from past experiences, love means vulnerability, and vulnerability means openness. It’s a tough risk to take, and I respect you for taking it. But it sounds as if you’re already establishing strict no-go zones a little early in your relationship. It’s the kind of thing that could blow up in your face later.
Or maybe I’m totally wrong about that. I don’t know. Maybe the no-go zones are necessary for now, but they’ll slowly disappear as time goes on and the relationship deepens. You’ll have to follow your conscience on this one.
Whatever happens, good luck.
It’s tough for me to go “all in” when she is not ready, willing, and able to do so–at least until the magical 365 days have passed. Still, we are making progress. She isn’t comfortable going out to dinner together because of the small town gossip (which is something real here, especially among Filipinas), and I understand that. So, I’m looking at some alternatives, like having dates on SBMA. We are also talking about a getaway to Pundaquit and she liked that idea and even suggested the possibility of an overnight stay. And we’ve both used the “L” word, at least in our messages. So, we are getting there.
I guess I have created the wrong impression about the importance of the bargirls to me. With one or two exceptions (like Joy at Hideaway), they are all interchangeable; I can take them or leave them. I consider Joy a friend, but I do not desire anything more than that from her. Last night I did the feeding at Hideaway, which to me is a charitable good deed kind of thing, then I went to Sloppy Joe’s and hung out with my fellow expats. You don’t see male Filipinos in the bars much, but I intend to spend less time in venues where lady drinks are expected.
Given my disastrous history in the realm of love, I need to proceed cautiously and try to avoid past mistakes. Swan is unlike other women I have met here, and I think she is worth the risk. I hope she will accept me as I am, even as I strive to improve. But I love her enough to accept that if she finds me unworthy, I will not hesitate to let her go. I want her love, but I do not need it. That is unusual for me, and hopefully, it will be a strong foundation for building our relationship. Time will tell.
As always, thanks for sharing your thoughts.
While I usually agree with @Kevins thoughts, on the matter of keeping the blog private or not, I agree with you John.
Even in a committed relationship, I think it is okay (and actually healthy for the relationship) if there is some part of your life that is yours alone. Of course, there are boundaries to that, but I do think that everyone needs their own space.
Thanks, Brian. I am confident that Swan and I will find a middle ground if it is meant to be. The key is to be honest with each other and say what is in our hearts. My sense is that she is not the controlling type. She has made it clear that she is not interested in the bar scene but does not object to my occasional participation without her. I’d rather be with her anyway, but sometimes some space is healthy too. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that.