Let’s talk some about bargirls and their customers. Obviously, not everyone is the same, so much of what I have to say about the bar scene will be generalizations but are based on many years of first-hand observations.

So, let’s start with the roles females fill when employed in a bar:

Waitress: They take and deliver your order. In most establishments, they are permitted to accept a lady drink from a customer and can sit with the customer while they drink it, although they may be required to wait on other customers at the same time.

Guest Relations Officer (GRO): These gals are hired to sit and drink with customers during their visit to the bar as long as the customer is buying them lady drinks.

Bartenders: They fill the drink orders and usually accept a lady drink, although they typically have to stay behind the bar and continue performing their duties.

Dancers: They entertain customers from a stage and are available to provide company to customers who purchase them a lady drink.

And a couple of other relevant definitions:

Lady drink: A customer purchased drink from which the female employee earns a commission. A single lady drink is served in a cocktail glass and may or may not contain any actual alcohol. Prices vary, but in Barretto a single lady drink is around 180 pesos, and the commission paid to the bargirl is around 80 pesos. A bottled lady drink is called a double and in most bars costs 300 pesos and the recipient earns a higher commission. I personally will not spend more than 200 pesos for lady drink.

Early Work Release (EWR)/Barfine: This is the price you pay to take a girl out of the bar before her shift has ended. Many bars have gone to the EWR model to avoid being accused of promoting prostitution, which is illegal in the Philippines. The way an EWR works is the bargirl and the customer negotiate a price for “take out.” The gal will arrange a “short time” price (a couple of hours) or a “long time” overnight price. It’s been quite some time since I’ve paid a girl to leave the bar with me, but I understand the going rate these days is in the 3000-5000 peso range. When the girl returns to duty, she pays the bar a penalty for leaving work early, which I understand is usually 1000 pesos. Anything taking place outside of the bar is between two consenting adults. A barfine is essentially the same thing, except the customer pays a set fee to the bar directly to take the girl out, and the girl is given a commission when she returns to duty.

So, that’s the system; whether you as a customer participate is entirely up to you. I’d say 50% or less play the lady drink game in the bars I frequent. Depending on my mood, I tend to buy lady drinks for my favorites, as often as not. What do I get for my money? Some chat, some joking around, and the satisfaction that comes with the knowledge that those lady commissions can make a big difference to a girl struggling to make ends meet. That’s why I sometimes think of it as an act of charity, although I acknowledge it doesn’t really meet that definition. The girl is just doing her job for that money, and it is earned, not gifted. I sometimes buy the drinks even when I’d be just as happy without the company. That’s just how I roll.

So, what’s the attraction? Yes, some of the girls can be aggressive and mercenary, and those tactics just don’t work for me. I don’t like being asked for a lady drink, I prefer to offer. My standard method is to sit down and order a beer. If the waitress is friendly and engages in chat while I enjoy my beer, I tend to get a drink for her when I order my second beer. Then we go from there, but usually I do two beers for every lady drink I buy. And what do I get for that money? Nothing, really. Some girls are better than others at engaging in conversation, but usually it’s all very much meaningless small talk. Then why do I play the game? Because I can. In most of the bars I frequent, my regulars know me, greet me, and take good care of me during my visit. Perhaps it is all pretending and fake, but I get to enjoy myself for a few dollars. Bottom line, it is worth it to me and makes the girls happy. I’d call that a win-win.

My first exposure to the bargirl culture was when I moved to Korea in 2005. That first weekend, I was exploring the streets of Itaewon in the afternoon. I needed to pee and saw a bar was open (I can’t remember the name now, and it is long gone), so I went in and used the toilet, then ordered a beer. As I was sitting at the bar, a young Korean woman came and sat next to me, and we started chatting. She was very friendly and was telling me about all the things I could see and do in Korea. Naturally, I offered her a drink when I ordered another beer. And we sat there and talked and drank for a couple of hours. When it was time for me to depart, I got my bill and almost fainted when I saw the bottom line: 300,000 Won ($300.) The sweet young lady sitting beside me was enjoying beverages costing 20,000 Won each! I had never heard of a lady drink until that day. That was the first and last time I bought a twenty-dollar drink.

I was still living in Seoul in 2009 when I did a post here about juicy bars and prostitution in Korea. I had a couple of tourist visits to the Philippines by then, so I could compare and contrast aspects of the bar scene in both countries. At that time, lots of Filipinas were being imported to Korea to work the bars near the Army bases. I tried to answer the question of whether they were being trafficked or otherwise exploited. Give it a read if you are so inclined.

My style in those days was to take my barfine out to dinner and shopping, going for what was called a GFE–girlfriend experience. The hard core mongers would take the girls from the bar straight to the hotel, do the dirty deed, then send them on their way. One guy told me, “I don’t pay the girls for sex; I pay them to leave in the morning.” That approach never appealed to me, and the mongers called people like me “Captain Saveaho.” Anyway, I’m having dinner with Sheryl on one of our “dates” and she out of the blue said, “I hate my father.” I asked her why and she told me he had abandoned the family and it was up to her to support her brothers and sisters doing a job she hated. The “whore” pulling the cart at the beginning of this post reminds me of Sheryl’s story. In her case, the story had a happy ending. I helped her with tuition to earn her caregiver license. She graduated, left the bar life behind, and married an Australian. You can read more of her story here with photos from my best ever day as a tourist in the Philippines.

I’m retelling the story of Sheryl to make the broader point about bargirls. Most of the ones I’ve met are doing the job they do because it pays the bills and helps put food on the table. There are good girls and bad girls in the bars, but by and large, they are desperate young women doing they best they can. I don’t judge them and don’t mind helping them out via drink commissions when I visit the bars. I’m not pretending it is anything more than that, but being treated rudely or disrespectfully is a surefire way to close my wallet.

In my opinion, the bargirls are not necessarily being exploited, although I think their compensation is unfair. No one is forcing them to take a job in the bar, but there are no other options for many. A waitress/GRO earns 200-300 pesos daily ($4-$6) plus tips and drink commissions. Many bars have drink quotas, and failure to get enough lady drinks results in a reduction in an already paltry salary. I don’t pretend to be changing the world for them when I throw a lady drink or two their way, but it is better than nothing. In keeping with my selfish nature, it makes me feel good to help them earn a little extra money. If my doing so perpetuates a cycle of poverty, then shame on me. I just don’t see it that way.