As I related in yesterday’s post, I rented a room for the homeless woman I call “mama”. The first month’s rent and a security deposit set me back 6000 pesos ($120.). A small price to pay to make a difference in someone’s life and I was happy to do it.

Late in the afternoon yesterday, I headed out for some liquid refreshment at Cheap Charlies. And lo and behold, mama was sitting under her ever-present umbrella right outside the stairs to the bar. I gave her the good news and told her to stick around for a bit. I contacted my Filipina friend who had found the place and asked her to join us. Once she arrived she contacted the woman getting extra keys made so we could take mama home. Soon enough, we were all in a trike on the way to Baloy beach.

Upon arrival, we showed mama her new place, demonstrated how the lock worked and where to turn on the lights. We also told her that in the morning we’d come back with a bed cushion, a shower curtain, a fan, and anything else needed for her comfort. My friend told her she would help give the place a good scrubbing as well. Then we invited mama to join us for dinner.

Dinner conversation was light and mostly in Tagalog. I did learn that mama is 68 and was very popular back in the days when Subic was a regular port of call for the US Navy. I think I heard her say that at some point she was married to a Marine. After we ate, we walked back to mama’s new place. I wanted to be sure she could open the door and turn on the light (you have to plug it in before hitting the switch). She managed that just fine and so we reminded her we’d be back in the morning to fix the place up some and said our goodnights.

On the way out, we saw Gerlie, mama’s new neighbor and a friend of mine. She invited us to join her for a beer, so we sat on her porch and enjoyed a cold one. Before I finished that beer, the words Kevin Kim left in a comment on an earlier post echoed in my brain:

Keep in mind that many homeless folks get so used to living on the street that, when they’re gifted with lodging, they fail to maintain their domicile and/or abandon it completely. Some habits are too deeply ingrained, and for the benefactor, the whole thing becomes a waste of money and time. I suspect that “mama” will need some constant supervision if this project is to go well and smoothly.

Back in my more bleeding-heart days, I did a lot of work with the homeless in the DC-Metro area. There’re tons of homeless folks in and around my hometown of Alexandria, Virginia. Most of them have some sort of mental/psychological condition, which is what often compels them to fuck up a good thing. As much as I’m a believer in free will and personal responsibility, I know that some compulsions are powerful and extremely hard to beat (viz. me and overeating). They CAN be beaten, but it takes time, effort, focus, and the care/support of other people to help one along.

Upshot: I’m not optimistic that giving “mama” a home will solve whatever you perceive her problems to be. I mean, I might be totally wrong, but experience and instinct both whisper that I’m probably right.

A few minutes after we left her, mama walked up and held out the key to me saying “I can’t do the lock”. I said I’ll help you with that and she responded “no, I don’t want.” I told her to keep her key (I’d put it on a necklace so she wouldn’t lose it), I’d use my key to lock up for her. She repeated, “no, I don’t want.” You don’t want to sleep there, I asked? “No, papa.” Why don’t you try it for a few days and see? “No papa, I don’t want.” She handed me the key and walked away. Alright, then.

Okay, I figured it was a 50-50 chance it wouldn’t work out. But I was surprised she didn’t even want to give it a chance. Granted, it’s a pretty crappy room, but still, you’d think it would be better than sleeping on the street. Apparently not, at least in mama’s tortured mind. Kevin’s thinking proved to be spot-on; sometimes the people you think you are helping don’t want to be helped. And really, one of the things I have always admired about mama was that she seems genuinely happy whenever I see her. Perhaps I was foolish to think I could make things better for her. Although in my defense, she did tell me when I asked that she would like a place of her own. Heh, maybe she was thinking it would be fancier. Who knows? I don’t regret trying. And if any of my readers are looking for an inexpensive place to stay close to the beach, let me know!

My dreams of upgrading my own accommodations hit a snag when the agent for that house I like advised that the owner was not interested in renting it out, only selling. Oh well. I do think I’ll email the owner directly and ask, the agent has a financial interest in making a sale. The owner might find a long-term lease more attractive than a house that has been sitting vacant for over a year now. We’ll see.

The day wasn’t a total loss though. I had a nice 8K solitary walk in the morning. I did that 1000 step photo thing again:

You can Relive that walk here if you are so inclined.

And here we are with another Hash Monday upon us. Leech My Nuggets is the Hare and he has a 7.5K trail lined up. I will be short-cutting at my discretion, but I am walking to the start which adds about 3K,. So, subtracting one of those hills should even things out some.

And so it goes.