The story continues. Prologue. Chapter One. Chapter Two. Chapter Three.

One of my lives within this lifetime is the one I’ve spent as a manwhore. I don’t know what got into me, but I know what I got into. If you get my meaning. Anyway, once a whore always a whore I suppose. But the heydays of that life were from the 1980’s through the early 2000’s.

Now, back in high school I had two girlfriends at the same time. In my defense, the first one moved to San Diego two hours away. So it only seemed natural that I’d have someone local to love, right? That lasted until they both showed up in the same place at the same time. After that I had zero girlfriends.

Not too long afterwards I got the girl I was dating pregnant and married her. I was faithful to her until she wasn’t. Which led me to meeting KaraLynne, the love of my life. I told that story here. Suffice to say she wound up breaking my heart. I guess as much as anything that set me on the road to whoredom, although that was never really my intended destination. Or so I choose to believe.

So, this would have been around 1983 I suppose and I looked like this:

Anyway, I was single again and looking for love. Usually in the wrong places. Heh, some things never change. I was a mailman and um, I “dated”, several gals I met on my mail route (but never during working hours! Okay, maybe once during working hours). I had a pretty passionate fling with my barber Peggy. And then I met Linda who was destined to be my soulmate, but not my life mate. Shortly thereafter I packed it in and left Arizona for a new life in Oklahoma and Arkansas (I was right on the border, working in Fort Smith, AR and living in Monroe, OK).

Wow! My first exposure to Southern women. And what can I say about them except they know what they want and they ain’t shy about asking for it. It was a totally new experience being the pursued and not the pursuer. My first weekend there I went to a country bar (I’m not sure there were any other kinds). I’m sitting there watching the action and a young woman walks up and says in a sweet Southern twang “are you just gonna sit there or did you come to dance?” So we danced in the bar and later on we were dancing horizontally.

And that’s pretty much the way it worked all the time. I met and deflowered my last virgin there. Dated a 37 year old and a 23 year old simultaneously (I was now 30) and interspersed them with gals I met on the mail route and in the bars. Wild times for sure. But the method to my madness was the thought that I might have to date a hundred women before I met another KaraLynne. Of course, that was a fools mission and in the end all I got was fucked. Ahem.

Eventually I married again so my kids would have someone to mother them. We moved to South Carolina and my career took off. I started traveling quite a bit and would occasionally dabble with women I’d meet on the road. Hotel bars can be such lonely places don’t you know. But I wasn’t very smart about it and got caught a couple of times which didn’t help the marriage. Once I got busted because I made the mistake of meeting up with a woman at her house. Her ex was a cop and he drove by, saw my car, and ran the plates. Then he called my wife. And my wife called my boss. It was a mess of my own making, that’s for sure.

After I had moved on to Wife #3 I had an affair with a co-worker. She was a big Chicago Bulls fan and since I had a ton of frequent flyer miles I booked a surprise trip to Chicago to see them play. We had a layover in Pittsburgh and our flight was delayed. The woman in the USAirways club helped us re-book so we wouldn’t miss the game. We made it and in appreciation I bought the agent a souvenir from the game which I presented to her on our return trip through Pittsburgh. She was so pleased that she called my wife in Virginia and thanked her for the kindness her and I had shown in getting her the gift (you see, she thought the woman I was with was my wife). I just never had much luck at cheating I suppose.

Maybe I learned my lessons, because I never cheated on Wife #4.

After Jee Yeun destroyed me I’ve pretty much just been floundering. When it comes to relationships, I’ve got the Midas touch in reverse–they all turn to shit. Ironically, I live in a town chock full of whore bars but I have no interest in whoring these days. Maybe it’s old age or maybe I’ve just had enough. I would enjoy being in a stable, loving relationship with my one and only, but I’m not sure I have the balls to risk it. I’ve got a lifetime of bad Karma to pay for.

Now I think I’m going down to the well tonight
And I’m going to drink till I get my fill
And I hope when I get old I don’t sit around thinking about it
But I probably will
Yeah, just sitting back trying to recapture
A little of the glory of, well time slips away
And leaves you with nothing mister but
Boring stories of

Glory days well they’ll pass you by
Glory days in the wink of a young girl’s eye
Glory days, glory days