Probably my favorite quote from Stephen King.

Last night I heard from an old friend who just had her heart broken. I was pretty surprised because I know she was crazy about this guy and had gone “all in” to the relationship. And now she is devastated. I really feel bad for her because last time we chatted she was excited like a kid before Christmas waiting for his visit next month (yes, it was one of those long distance relationships which are of course especially fraught with peril).

I’m certainly in no position to give relationship advice (unless you are savvy enough to do the opposite of what I say), but I do know a thing or two about dealing with a broken heart. So I mostly just provided an understanding ear and assured her that she would get through this and come out changed, but stronger, on the other side. As they say, it only hurts until the pain goes away.

I’m ten months removed now for my latest broken heart and of course I’ve moved on with my life. Although this life I’m living here is the life I had intended to share with her. That took some getting used to the first few weeks but it also provided some much needed perspective. We all walk the path we choose in life, if we get lucky someone may choose to walk along beside us. There is no guarantee it will be for a lifetime. That’s the risk you take when you allow yourself to love.

In an odd little coincidence, Facebook “memories” feature shared a photo I’d posted two years ago of the love before the last love, Eun Oke.

This was right after we had first met. The caption on my FB post was “the future is a mystery”.

It turned out to be a very short-lived future as a couple. When I think of her I’m reminded of the Jim Croce lyric: “for every time that we spent laughing there were two times that I cried…”. But hey, no regrets. I still on rare occasions will get a Kakao message from her. Usually when she is drunk. Eun Oke is a good, but flawed, woman. I was just too fragile to deal with her mood swings. I hope she is doing better now.

And of course, this new life is what I salvaged when my previous life was ended on the seemingly capricious whim of the last woman I married. I’ll never understand that and I’ve given up trying. I died, spent time in purgatory, and was reborn in the Philippines.

Will I find a true and lasting love here? I honestly don’t know and maybe what I have is good enough. I’m open to whatever the future might bring but I’m not going to spend my time being sad about the past or lamenting what I don’t have in my life now. It is what it is. I’ll just keeping walking on.

Love hurts, love scars, love wounds
And mars, any heart
Not tough or strong enough
To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud
Holds a lot of rain
Love hurts…… ooh, ooh love hurts

I know it isn’t true, I know it isn’t true
Love is just a lie
Made to make you blue
Love hurts…… ooh, ooh love hurts
Ooh, ooh love hurts