Happy New Year everyone!
Maybe it’s the residual impact from spending hours alone on the open road, but I find myself reflecting on the past this morning. Specifically those long ago years when I was living in Oklahoma. At the time I was so wrapped up in my own unhappiness that I could not see the beauty and all the positive aspects of the country lifestyle. I absconded with a few pictures from my parent’s photo albums and was reminded that I actually had a lot of fun in those days. Recalling the horse shows, cattle auctions, softball, camping, canoeing, and friends I made–makes me wonder why I was in such a hurry to leave.
I do remember my reasons. I recall watching the news and feeling like I was not connected to the outside world. I thought happiness would be found through a big promotion. I simply did not value the simple pleasures of what that life had to offer. And so I left it all behind and never really looked back. Until now.
I don’t know that I would call it looking back in regret. South Carolina was great too. And I would not have reached the top of my profession without moving to the DC area. I guess what I regret was not enjoying my Oklahoma life as much as I should have while I was living it. I know my kids really benefited from living on the farm and those years helped them become the successful people they grew up to be. They at least were happy there. Moving to Oklahoma after my divorce was the best decision I could have made, but I remember thinking at the time I should never have left Arizona.
And that I guess leads to my current insight on this New Years morning. I never really had a plan for life, I just reacted to it. Whenever I reached a crossroad, I chose a direction and followed the road without a clue as to where it might take me. I guess it is natural to wonder about the paths that would have led to a different life, but you only get to live the life you chose. No mulligans. But I have been extremely fortunate and blessed. Good people got hurt along the way, and for that I am truly sorry. But the roads I have taken have led to some great adventures and life-altering experiences. A fool’s luck perhaps, but even though I could never have imagined what my life would turn out to be, it has been a very nice ride.
So it is time to look forward again. This year brings a new road in Seoul, Korea. And it will be an adventure with an uncertain outcome for sure. But before I put the Oklahoma chapter of my life back on the shelf, I want to thank those people who made it a very special time. Mom and dad of course, but also everyone else who let a city boy be part of their life. And especially my guardian angel Linda who thought Oklahoma was heaven on earth and was always there to keep me sane. I miss you my friend.
Geez, that was quite a ramble. My point (if there is one) is just to say I have discovered that it is important to take the time to enjoy the life you are living even as you chase rainbows. I think I missed the best part of Oklahoma and it is only in looking back that I realize that should have allowed myself to be happy there.
And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We’re captive on the carousel of time
We can’t return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game
–Joni Mitchell
Your story is very interesting. I am very new to this blog stuff, however, I do enjoy your writing. I look forward to your comments and opinions as I do feel they mirror my own in many ways, so go ahead and ramble on. Remembr John:
“The secret to a rich life
is to have more beginnings than endings.†David Weinbaum
Long drives give you plenty of opportunity to allow your mind to wander and reflect. I’m glad you made it home safely.
Cherish, I appreciate your kind words and support. Writing personal stuff is a lot scarier than doing political commentary.
I am glad to know I have an interested reader out there. Thanks for the quote. I have certainly had my share of beginnings!
Every person, all events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you. Illusions.
Also from Richard Bach’s Illusions:
Don’t be dismayed at good-byes
A farewell is necessary before you can meet again
And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes,
Is certain for those who are friends.
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A lot of talented actors still have to pay their bills.
I had been approached by a couple of people as far as making movies because of my success in music, but it was always to play the white rapper in Sister Act 2, or something that would just kind of put the final nail into my coffin of my career.
I had had a troubled past, but like most rappers they go out and talk about it to kind of help their career.
I have a lot of real life experience with hustling and doing stupid stuff.
I just realized that the whole point of doing interviews was to promote this movie, so see it three times.
I never make the mistake of arguing with people for whose opinions I have no respect.
But it just so happens that when you re in the public eye, everything gets reported.
I love my H.R.H. character. But I never got it. Why do we pay these people millions of pounds to be better than us?
I used to dress up and impersonate our next-door neighbor, Miss Cox. She wore rubber boots, a wool hat, and her nose always dripped.
I like the idea of making big budget films with a heart. I like graphic novels more than comic books.
I think music is what takes the experience off the screen into your soul, into your head.
gold style
But I think that the most important thing was to really stop drinking.
An artist is a dreamer consenting to dream of the actual world.
I only drink to make other people seem more interesting.
Love is an emotion experienced by the many and enjoyed by the few.
Patriotism is a arbitrary veneration of real estate above principles.
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A person who knows how to laugh at himself will never ceased to be amused.
Fear makes strangers of people who would be friends.
The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused.
A policy is a temporary creed liable to be changed, but while it holds good it has got to be pursued with apostolic zeal.
A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history.
I too am living as a writer with this polarisation imprinted on me like a deep scar.
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After the many rumours that we had heard about Hitler and the published criticisms we had read about him, we were pleasantly impressed.
I have always been interested in politics. I was in the student union before, very active.
As long as karma exists, the world changes. There will always be karma to be taken care of.
I think it was that we were really seasoned musicians. We had serious roots that spanned different cultures, obviously the blues.
For a long time I just did theater and after many years I was ready to make a change.
A lot of poets carry a wee notebook in their pockets to jot down ideas and lines and even a verse or two. I never do that.
I was drunk for the second time in my life on junior high and that was a bad one!
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