“If human emotions largely result from thinking, then one may appreciably control one’s feelings by controlling one’s thoughts–or by changing the internalized sentences, or self-talk, with which one largely created the feeling in the first place.”
–Albert Ellis
So yep, I working on upping my self-talk game by emphasizing the positives in my life rather than the failures. It’s not as easy as it sounds especially when faced with yet another disappointment, the details of which I’ll spare you. There’s much, much more good than bad in my life and even what may feel like a failure now could well prove to be an opportunity down the road. Regardless, much better to count my blessings rather than my heartbreaks, right?
First time back on the scales since my vacation to the states and it wasn’t good news–I gained ten pounds! Not really a surprise given the way I was eating high card junk snacks coupled with a serious decrease in my exercise routine. So, I have a new goal to strive for and I am on it! (see more positive self-talk!)
Today’s walk on the beach revealed that the Arizona floating bar is back in operation. Not that I go there much, but it means rainy season is officially over. These next few months are the best time of the year here, or so I am told.
Not a whole lot else to report from here. Had a chat with Gina and let her know I’m not ready for a relationship just yet. She seemed to take that disappointment in stride. We’ll see. I’m gonna follow through on the date with Jessa tomorrow although I don’t foresee a future with her either. I think it’s best that I use this particular time in my life to just embrace the adventure and enjoy what each day may bring.
“It’s not that you have to find the answer, you are the answer.”
–Gary John Bishop
I’m reading a book called The Righteous Mind by Jonathan Haidt, which is a psychological exploration of why people so passionately demonize each other when it comes to politics and religion. Haidt repeatedly states one of the major findings of neuroscience and neuropsychology, which is that we are feeling beings who happen to think, i.e., feelings come first, and thoughts follow. We commit ourselves to our worldviews on an emotional level, and only then do we formulate rational, intellectual justifications for why we believe what we believe. For Haidt, then, human emotions don’t “result from thinking”: it’s more the other way around, which actually makes sense to me.
That said, traditions like Buddhism (and, probably, Stoicism) view the passions as something that either enslave you or are enslaved (i.e., managed or governed) by you. The person who is unable to control his passions ends up ruled by them, so even if the intellect isn’t the source of our emotions, it’s nevertheless the intellect’s duty to make sure the emotions don’t run rampant.
Unfortunately, for those of us who like to drink, governing the emotions is made more difficult when we imbibe because, as we all know, alcohol lowers the inhibitions, thus regressing us into emotional infancy (or as Paul Joseph Watson calls it: emotional incontinence) and opening the door to our saying and doing stupid things that we regret later.
But, yeah: it’s that battle between the rational superego and the emotional id. The dick and the brain, constantly at war. If we believe in the power of choice, though, then we affirm that we have the ability to lead dick-shaped lives or brain-shaped lives. We always have a choice in the matter.
Whoops. I wrote:
“That said, traditions like Buddhism (and, probably, Stoicism) view the passions as something that either enslave you or are enslaved (i.e., managed or governed) by you.”
That should read:
“That said, traditions like Buddhism (and, probably, Stoicism) view the passions as things that either enslave you or are enslaved (i.e., managed or governed) by you.”
Bad monkey! BAD!
Fascinating stuff as always, Kevin. You should write a book of your own. Just publish all the good advice you’ve given me over the years, some of which I’ve actually followed!
Anyway, it’s early in the change yet but working to put a positive spin on my thought processes seems to be helping already. I’ll cop to letting emotions override being rational far too often, although truthfully that happens with or without alcohol. I’ll get there though.