A lazy rainy day here this morning but yesterday turned out to be mighty special.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, my friend Iline joined me for an afternoon cookout. But it turned out to be so much more. For me at least. The food was prepared and served pretty much as intended and my guest seemed to enjoy the meal. Of course, that wasn’t the highlight of our time together.

I’ve been knowing Iline for over a year now, having first met her on one of the Wednesday hikes. I felt an immediate and strong physical attraction to her but I had a girlfriend at the time so that’s all it was. I certainly had no indication that the attraction was mutual anyway. She started coming out to the Hash on a regular basis and I guess I didn’t do a good job of hiding my interest because the girlfriend got very jealous and we had a big fight over it. Actually, Iline revealed to me yesterday that several of the female Hashers had admonished her to stay away from me because of my jealous girlfriend.

After my breakup, Iline is the first person I went to see (she’s the receptionist/cashier at Treasure Island) but alas, she informed me she was in a relationship. So I gave dating Jessa a try without much success and then had my chance encounter with Mary that went nowhere fast. And that’s where things stood with me as we sat down at the dining room table for a meal and some chat.

I was frankly surprised. Or maybe astounded is more like it. As long as I’ve known Iline I’ve never really had the opportunity to talk with her at length. And we talked for hours yesterday. Also laughed a lot, she’s got a great sense of humor. Even got my jokes. And by the end of the afternoon, I realized what I’d been missing. For years and years now. A true emotional and intellectual connection with a female of the species. And I think she felt it too. Hell, I know she did because we talked about it. Sadly, in terms of missed opportunities.

Iline is in a long-distance relationship, one that she is unwilling and/or unable to end now. I completely understand and it was certainly no surprise as she had warned me before accepting my invitation that we were meeting only as friends. And I have no regrets about the experience at all. It was good to feel what I felt again. Honestly, it had been so long that I had forgotten just how good it feels to truly connect with someone on more than a physical level. Yes, I lament the fact that our timing sucked and that I had previously lacked the courage to pursue her in a meaningful way. That’s on me.

So, that was one of my takeaways–you snooze, you lose. But more importantly, I am no longer willing to settle for less than what I found yesterday. I might fool around with someone to pass the time, but I’m not doing a relationship that doesn’t include what I felt with Iline. I have an entirely new outlook now.

Yes, it’s true. I fell in love again and it was wonderful.

The headlines read ‘these are the worst of times’
I do believe it’s true
I feel so helpless like a boat against the tide
I wish the summer winds could bring back Paradise
But I know, if the world turned upside down
Baby, I know you’d always be around

The best of times are when I’m alone with you
Some rain some shine, we’ll make this a world for two
Our memories of yesterday will last a lifetime
We’ll take the best, forget the rest
And someday we’ll find these are the best of times
These are the best of times