Man, oh, man, what an afternoon. Patience isn’t my strong suit, but damn, I was sorely tested yesterday. Here’s the fucked up story.
Okay, my mission was to complete the process of getting “approval clearance” to undergo the surgery I need to remove the polyps in my nostrils. My last two steps were getting a sign-off from the pulmonary doctor I saw last week and then the cardiologist’s approval that my ticker would keep on ticking while I’m under the knife. The complicating factor is the insane process where doctors don’t make appointments; you sign in and are served on a first-in, first-seen basis. Under the best of circumstances, I find that irksome, but yesterday, I thought my head would explode.
So, my helper/caregiver, Teri, is entrusted with making all the arrangements. The pulmonary doctor was scheduled to report for duty at 2:00 p.m. and I was #4 on the list of patients to be seen. The cardiologist would be available at 4:00 p.m. and I was #2 on her list. Accordingly, I scheduled my driver to pick me, Teri and Swan up at 1:00 to take us to Baypointe Hospital. And then things started to go wrong. The scheduler said the pulmonary doctor was running “late.” Well, I didn’t want a repeat of last week’s sitting in the corridor waiting for hours to be seen. So, I had my driver take me to the mall ten minutes away from the hospital to pick up some things I needed.
Teri reported the pulmonary doc would arrive at 2:20, so we headed back to Baypointe. There, we discovered that the pulmonary doctor had been diverted to the ICU, so the wait commenced without her. She finally arrived at 2:45 and took the first of the three patients ahead of me. Forty minutes later, it was #2’s turn. I was getting nervous that, at this rate, my turn with the cardiologist would arrive before I had my pulmonary clearance. So, I devised this scheme: I’d send Swan to sit in front of the cardiologist’s office around the corner in the next hallway and to message me if my name were called. This required that my scheduling paperwork be moved to that office. So what, I figured, I’d be waiting my turn to arrive with the pulmonary doc and then move over. Nope, the hospital bureaucrazy doesn’t work that way. It was one or the other. Welp, I’d already invested over two hours of waiting time with the pulmonary doc, so I wasn’t giving up my place in line with her. If that meant rescheduling with the cardiologist, so be it.
My turn finally came with the pulmonary doctor at about 4:15. She reviewed my paperwork and the chest x-rays. Since the radiologist hadn’t completed an assessment, she went downstairs to review the actual film. She was gone for about fifteen minutes and said my lungs were clear (at least as clear as they would ever be). A few more questions, and she signed off with her approval for surgery. Now, to see the cardiologist.
The good news is I somehow managed to be next in line and only waited five minutes to see her. The bad news is my ECG showed a “slow heart rate,” and she wanted another test done. That has to be scheduled, and once the results are back, I’ll need to navigate the process for some face time with the cardiologist once again. So, I’m hoping to get all this done early next week. I’m going to see the doctor who will do the actual surgery (the one way out in San Marcelino) on Tuesday morning, and hopefully, she will schedule my operation for Sunday the 12th. Fingers crossed I can get everything done between now and then.
It was now a little after 5:00 and my hopes for attending the SOB were dashed. Checking my wallet, I saw that the doctor’s fees had depleted my cash (3500 pesos for the pulmonary and 2000 for the cardioligist) to the extent that I couldn’t pay my driver and have enough for beer drinking, without going home and restocking the billfold. Fuck it, everyone was hungry so I treated them to dinner at John’s place on the way home instead. Then back at the house, I grabbed some cash for the driver’s pay and just decided to stay at home on a Friday night. Will wonders never cease?
Teri and Swan watched television and I drank alone while singing along with some sad songs on my Spotify app. That’s even more pathetic than buying lady drinks in exchange for some company.
This afternoon, I’m headed for Angeles City. A change of scenery is bound to do me good.
I’ll be greeting you from AC in the morning. Stay tuned.
I’m morbidly curious: just how slow is your heart? Like “I’m an Olympic athlete” slow, or “I’m an undead vampire” slow? I’ve had resting heart rates in the 80s and 90s when I’ve been in a health slump. If I’m lucky, like right now thanks to my walk, my resting heart rate drops to the 70s.
Anyway, the need for more testing sucks, but I’ll charitably assume it’s for your safety and not just bureaucracy spinning its wheels.
Good luck with the new Merrells and with Angeles City.
“Teri and Swan watched television and I drank alone while singing along with some sad songs on my Spotify app. That’s even more pathetic than buying lady drinks in exchange for some company.”
lolled at this. Great opening paragraph for a novel I’d actually read.
Shalom, John, shalom.
You have to be the only guy on the planet who thinks buying lady drinks for company is more pathetic than drinking alone and listening to music. It explains your mindset at least and highlights some of your insecurities which would explain your lack of success with women in the Philippines.
How on earth someone with an American passport can struggle to get laid in the Philippines is beyond me, but here we are.
The clock’s ticking. Get out there and do something with the time you have.
Goldberg,
John’s had no trouble in the getting-laid department. If anything, his conjugal success has led some of us commenters (well, me, anyway) to question his priorities. But for the past several months, John has been working on a project: an exclusive and hopefully deep relationship. So this new commitment has meant no poonie on the side (so far as we know). Trouble is, the object of John’s affection is turning out to be a bit of a cold cucumber, hence the passage about drinking and singing sad songs while the ladies watch TV in the next room. John’s been hoping that the cold-cucumber thing will lift like a fog after his funny little honey is through with a year of mourning for her previous love, but we’ll see whether the fog actually lifts.
Kev, thanks for your support! Yes, I’ve been behaving and rejecting all entreaties from my former paramours. That’s a pretty big deal for a guy like me!
Slow and steady progress with Swan. She is getting better at opening her heart to me. Now we will see if I prove worthy of her love.
Goldberg, Peace be unto you!
I’ve been here going on six years now and have had my share of LBFMs. I’ve never been into paying for it via barfines, but I have had my share of success finding ladies willing to share their affections for other types of compensation (like paying the electric bill). I even tried the “Sugar Daddy” thing for a bit with an 18-year-old student. Problem was, over time, I found all those “relationships” shallow and meaningless and I began longing for love. So, that’s my current quest. If I fail, those other girls will still be around, but for now, I’m going to pursue something more wholesome.
Thanks for sharing your insights.
Dan, you are reading it–the story of my life entitled Long Time Gone!
I always appreciate your feedback and comments. Keep ’em coming!
Kev, on the day of the ECG, I registered a heart rate of 58. According to my Fitbit, my resting heart rate is almost always in the low to mid-60s. I’ve always considered that healthy.
Well, I will also assume all these tests are founded on good intentions. But it has been a bureaucratic nightmare nonetheless.
Are you traveling solo to AC?
Because one does not visit AC without getting laid. It just isn’t done. It’s in the Constitution. Or something.
Just kidding. Mostly.
Have fun!
Swan is with me. So, I won’t be violating the Constitution.
John, seeing things from 10,000 feet, I think that you should cut your losses with Swan now, rather than wait. It seems like this relationship may be one of those “sunk cost” fallacies. “Well, I’ve invested this much in the relationship, so I might well wait just a bit longer and see if it gets better, etc.”
She does not seem to enjoy going out with you on the things you like, and when you are at home on an evening together, you do different things.
I am sure we are seeing a very simplified version of what is actually happening, so hope you don’t take offense to my comments.
Brian, feedback is a gift and is always appreciated. No offense taken!
Honestly, I feel like I’ve been making some forward progress with Swan. I’ve been especially impressed with her unselfishly caring for me during my recent illness. It’s true that she doesn’t seem to share any of my primary interests, but perhaps we’ll find some common ground together. Or maybe the time we spend when I’m not engaged in my beloved activities will prove to be enough. Anyway, I’m not giving up yet!