Things are pretty much back to normal around here, but man what a pain in the ass this recovering from the theft of my electronic devices has been.
I’ve managed to reset the passwords on all the accounts I could think of. Oops, just remembered one more. Be right back.
Alright, that’s done. You know I understand the need for the two-step verification process, but in some cases, I’ve been logging in automatically for so long that I was clueless on the password. That coupled with the fact that I’m attempting to log in from a new device (both computer and phone) apparently raises a bunch of red flags. I was jumping through hoops most of the afternoon yesterday to prove I am who I say I am.
Today I’ve been engaged in the business of installing the apps I frequently use on my phone. Slightly less burdensome, but still no fun for a techno-peasant like me.
What else? Well, once the sanctity of your home has been violated it takes some getting used to the new normal. I think the only way anyone is getting through my locked sliding doors is by breaking the glass. I did a security sweep of the house and determined this area in my downstairs bathroom is probably my biggest weakness.
The other thing I’m going to look into getting is some CCTV cameras around the outside of the house, which might offer some deterrent value. You don’t have to have the best security in the neighborhood, you just want to avoid being the easiest target.
Anyway, I have now gone over 24 hours without an incident, so my new measures appear to be working.
Given all the bullshit I had to do yesterday and my lack of sleep the night before I just wasn’t up for hiking the hash trail. The beer-drinking part afterward I was down for, however. I had to sit on the ice for being a socialite, but at least I was able to tell an interesting story as my excuse.
And life goes on.
Did you ever read about a frog
Who dreamed of bein’ a king
And then became one
Well except for the names
And a few other changes
If you talk about me
The story’s the same one
But I got an emptiness deep inside
And I’ve tried
But it won’t let me go
And I’m not a man who likes to swear
But I never cared
For the sound of being alone
“I am”… I said
To no one there
And no one heard at all
Not even the chair
“I am”… I cried
“I am”… said I
And I am lost and I can’t
Even say why
“I am”… I said
“I am”… I cried
“I am”… I said
So you DO have a machete! Goddammit, why were you so coy before? I kept asking and asking, and you kept saying, “Foreigners can’t have weapons.” And yet, here you are with a fookin’ MACHETE! Now the question is: do you have the gear to keep that fucker sharp? I think that’d be an excellent investment, and it’d get you working with your hands. John Mac: expert bladesmith!
Nah, I’m not actually pissed off about your coyness. Just surprised. Congratulations on arming yourself! Get a few other bladed weapons while you’re at it, and scatter them throughout your home for easy access. I’d recommend a battle axe and a leaf-bladed spear that has a point plus two cutting edges so you can either swing it or jab it. A man’s home is his castle, and you must be ready to defend your castle. Oh, and get a much bigger dog for your canine crew. One that’s psychologically unstable and will scare your housekeepers. Belgian Malinois is good; it’s basically a blackface German shepherd, so it can defend your house while doing an impression of Justin Trudeau or Virginia’s current governor, Ralph Northam.
HaHa! Love the dog idea!
To be honest, I was being honest about the machete. It’s not mine. One of my helpers borrowed it from the downstairs guy to cut the grass in my back yard. It was still sitting out there yesterday, and given my recent bad experience, I decided to repurpose it (that sounds better than stealing it, right?). Anyway, I hope I never have to use it in self-defense, but better to have it available than not for sure.
If you haven’t watched “John Wick, Chapter 3” yet, I highly recommend it for the attack-dog scenes. Those dogs do some amazing stunt work, and it’s hilarious, too. According to the behind-the-scenes footage, Halle Berry trained extensively with the dogs from the get-go, so the rapport you see on screen, between her and her character’s dogs, is very real.
‘The sanctity of my home was violated’….
Solutions:
1. Move
2. Bigger dogs, more weapons
3. Investigate (complicated: collusion between perp and ‘guard’ is not exclusively a Philippine sitch but things could get messy)
4. Polis. Surprised you didn’t get them involved. Though fear of bringing attention to yourself is understandable.
5. Time.
I strongly recommend the last. The stinking sense that someone uninvited has trodden on your carpets will be literally washed away with cleaning agents and figuratively bleached out by the process of time. Every 24 hour period you can put between yourself and the incident will serve to reassure. Being of mature years, you understand the idea of ‘closure’ is a fraud perpetrated by Hollywood and Wall Street to divest agency from the common voter. So you won’t be hoping for that. But you shall -I’m gonna put a frame on it and guess 6 -10 weeks- experience a wary shoulder shrugging fuck you to the whole shock. Just don’t get complacent…
John
Been dormant for awhile but following. So sorry about the break in. Lucky you are not states. Occupants usually get assaulted and injured. OTOH sometime the thieves get shot. Would like to see your area first hand. Having some surgery in Dec and the Doc says he can restore my electrical connection from my pea brains to.my legs and walk with more feeling.
Stay well and safe
Jerry
Thanks guys.
Yeah Dan, I’m making progress. The first step was getting the house secured. I don’t think anyone can get in here without breaking glass now. Me and the dogs would hear that for sure.
Jerry, good luck with the surgery!