If there is one thing Uncle Sam excels at, it is collecting his debts. I was reminded of this fact when my daughter sent me a copy of a letter mailed to her address from the Department of the Treasury. It seems the powers that be in my homeland believe I owe them some money. That was shocking news to me since I made it a point to be debt free prior to commencing my second retirement from government service.
My initial reaction was the letter which threatens to withhold up to 25% of my pension check as of June 1st, was that this must be some kind of scam. For instance, the letter does not say to whom and how much I owe or why I’m suddenly indebted to something called “DMSOC-East” in Birmingham, Alabama. I wracked my brain throughout the day trying to figure out why I was being targeted. Of course my first thoughts were that it must be tax related, but I had sent the IRS a hefty $8000. dollar check last April paying my tax obligations in full. I also wondered why whatever the issue with my unknown delinquency may be, I had never been previously contacted to advise me of the mysterious debt. All the letter had to offer in answer to these questions was a 1-800 number I could call.
Well. The first thing I needed to do was to figure out just how in the fuck do I make a call to a toll-free number deep in the heart of Dixie? Once I had obtained some guidance in that regard I needed to wait until my night became working hours back in America the beautiful. On my second attempt (had to figure out how to do the +1 country code on my cell phone keypad) I got a recording with some options. I chose wrong apparently because the robot voice said they couldn’t help with that and immediately hung up. On my next try I was more diligent and chose the “other” option. Whereupon the voice said all agents were busy and would be busy for at least 10 minutes, but to hold the line or otherwise lose my place in the queue. Alrighty then.
In due course a human came on the line and the game was on! He needed to verify that I am who I say I am and after I satisfactorily answered a series of questions he asked me “how can I help you?” I responded please tell me what the heck is going on. Who do I owe and how much? I was advised that the debt was still with a private collection agency and I would have to call them for details. He was able to tell me that my indebtedness was to the Brian Allgood Army Hospital in Seoul, Korea.
Ah! Now I remembered. Just before departing Korea I had all of my prescriptions refilled. The normal process is that my insurance is billed and I’m on the hook for whatever amount is not covered. But for some reason I had never received an invoice for the unpaid balance. I had in fact been diligent about turning in a change of address to the Army Post Office but apparently nothing related to this bill ever got forwarded to my stateside address.
Well, at least I know now that the debt is legit. And I do take some pride in paying what I owe in life–unlike the socialists I’m not looking for a free ride. The agent on the phone was attempting to give me the contact info for the private collection agency and I told him not to bother. I’d prefer to just have the money deducted from the pension check in June. Much less hassle for me that way. The agent indicated there was no downside to my thinking in that regard so I thanked him for his time and we said our goodbyes.
And that constitutes the most excitement I’ve experienced in a good long while. And that is just about all the excitement I need or want. At least until April 15. Which reminds me, I’ve not heard back from my tax preparer. Damn it!