Back at it with the Tuesday routines. We hadn’t been to the grocery store for two weeks, so I spent a little more than the usual weekly amount restocking the shelves, but less than I would have paid in two separate trips. So no complaints.
In the afternoon, I had an appointment with Dr. Jo at 2 p.m. I prefer three or four because it keeps me on schedule for my bar business, but alas, those time slots were not available.
I had three issues I wanted to discuss with Dr. Jo. The most concerning was an itchy rash I’ve been dealing with for the past several weeks. It pops up in random locations every morning as soon as I wake up and sit down at my desk. And two or three hours later, it mysteriously disappears.
I told Dr. Jo I was using an over-the-counter hydrocortisone to deal with the itchiness, but she advised against doing so, saying that the medicine has side effects that can damage the skin. She gave me a generic ointment to use in the interim. As we discussed the recurring rash, it seemed unlikely that it was caused by an allergic reaction to external factors, especially since the rash also broke out while I was in Siargao and Pozorrubio. One possibility is that my liver isn’t processing some toxins while I sleep. I thought to myself, yeah, maybe my liver was drunk! Anyway, I’m going to have some blood tests done, and one of them will measure liver function.
The other issue is that my blood pressure has gone way up recently (153/86 this morning). Dr. Jo wants to review my blood results before deciding on new BP meds.
Finally, I asked about Ozempic meds as a method to deal with my weight gain. After discussing the pros and cons, we both agreed that more dietary discipline on my part was the better solution.
Now I just need to get scheduled for the blood work, which requires fasting. I’m planning to go next Tuesday.
It was 2:30 when I was finished with Dr. Jo. Swan said I needed a haircut, so we walked up the highway and got that taken care of. We were on the far side of town from the road to Baloy Beach, our usual Tuesday hangout, so we decided to postpone the floating bar and go to Cheap Charlies instead.
I ordered my Zero, and Swan asked for her usual red wine. The bartender advised they didn’t have any red wine in stock, and I’m thinking, shit, here we go again. Except this time, they just asked if Swan minded waiting a few minutes while they ordered a bottle for delivery. We were good with that.
We asked for a Foodies menu from downstairs and ordered up some grub. Since I no longer buy lady drinks at Cheap Charlie’s inflated 250 peso price, I bought the girls some chicken wings and lumpia to enjoy, which cost me the equivalent of two lady drinks.
We did our nightcap at Green Room, then headed home at an ungodly early 7 p.m. Well, since we started at three, we were maintaining our four-hour out-on-the-town routine.
The 2016 New Year has arrived in the LTG archives. It didn’t start well with this post recounting the circumstances of my beloved wife leaving me for reasons I still don’t understand. It was the end of one life, but the beginning of another. And ten years later, I’m still standing. Most of the time, anyway. I’m not sure what lessons I should have taken away from that heartbreaking event, but I do know I never want to experience anything like it again.
When I came across today’s YouTube video, I thought, “Now you tell me.” But then I remember reading something very similar on Kevin Kim’s blog long ago. But the wisdom in knowing that everything happens for a reason can be comforting, even if you can’t discern what those reasons may be. Life goes on until it doesn’t, so we should just count the blessings that come with each new day.
Let’s take another crack at some humor, shall we?
And now it is on with my Wednesday. I can almost hear the floating bar calling me.
This song helped me get through the time of sorrow and loneliness I mentioned above.
When the day is long
And the night, the night is yours alone
When you're sure you've had enough
Of this life, well hang on
Don't let yourself go
'Cause everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes
Sometimes everything is wrong
Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone (Hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go (Hold on)
If you think you've had too much
Of this life, well hang on
'Cause everybody hurts
Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts
Don't throw your hand, oh no
Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone
No, no, no, you are not alone
If you're on your own in this life
The days and nights are long
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on
Well, everybody hurts sometimes
Everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes
So hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts
No, no, no, no you are not alone
The 2016 New Year has arrived in the LTG archives. It didn’t start well with this post recounting the circumstances of my beloved wife leaving me for reasons I still don’t understand.
Have you considered coming to Korea and really talking with her face to face, determined to get to the bottom of her “reasoning” (maybe there wasn’t any!) and not leaving until you have satisfactory answers? I mean, I won’t judge you if you don’t: I haven’t spoken to my dad since 2010, when Mom died, and I found out he’d been sneakily seeing another woman—probably before Mom’s death—and lying to his sons about where he’d been going all the time. So I have no moral high ground on which to shake my finger if you’ve concluded that talking would be useless or even destructive. I’m asking my question out of mere curiosity, not to prod you to do anything.
I’m not sure what lessons I should have taken away from that heartbreaking event, but I do know I never want to experience anything like it again.
Be a better judge of character, I’d say. Don’t wear you heart on your sleeve, and never forget Rule #1.
But the wisdom in knowing that everything happens for a reason can be comforting, even if you can’t discern what those reasons may be.
I’ve blogged about a version of this story before (it’s from China; see my post here, for example). The lesson I take away from the versions of the story I’ve read is that life turns on a dime, so great fortune can easily become great misfortune, and great misfortune (not always) often turns into something positive. Highs often give way to lows, and lows often give way to highs. I’m not sure how much I personally believe that everything happens for a reason; some things, like my mom’s brain cancer, just happen, and they suck. Whether I take something good from that experience is up to me, more a matter of personal choice than of the nature of the universe. Mom didn’t deserve what happened to her, and I can’t see that there was any reason for it or cosmic lessons being taught. So I’d submit that if you find reasons for your various misfortunes, it could be that you’ve manufactured those reasons yourself, sort of like finding a treasure that you yourself had buried long ago.
I don’t know… the whole question of invention versus discovery is a murky one. Is math something we’ve invented, or is it something we’re constantly discovering—like an Aristotelian abstraction—as we suss out subtle patterns, principles, and relationships in the cosmos? Are the lessons you take from a tragedy (or just from hard times) already there to be found, or did you craft them yourself? Hard to say.
Most places you arrive, sign in, and are seen on a first-come, first-served basis. The wait can be hours long.
My local doctor operates on a first-come, first-served basis, but after signing in, I’ve never waited longer than fifteen minutes. It’s a different story when I go to Samsung Hospital for my seasonal appointments: there, I have to come in two hours early to do blood work, and sometimes, if I have two appointments that day, they’re spaced a few hours apart. It’s good to have something to read during such times.
re: your REM song
I’m glad that that song saw you through some troubled times, but I’ve never been able to stand the nasal whininess of Michael Stipe. Lord, gimme some Johnny Cash.
Kevin, nope, no desire to reopen old wounds. For what it is worth, we did talk shortly prior to my leaving Korea. She said she regretted her decision and wanted to try again. I was too far gone by then to take that step. The trust I had in her love for me had disappeared. Maybe I was wrong, but something had died in me by then.
I see what you mean about the potential flaws in believing that everything happens for a reason. Maybe.
Yeah, I don’t have a problem with a reasonable wait, but hours and hours won’t work…I’m not that kind of patient. I used to send my helper in early to get my place in line, then I’d join her when my turn was coming.
Wait a minute, I thought you hated twangy country music. I mean, I like Johnny Cash, but was shocked to hear you prefer him over REM…you are full of surprises. Or something. 🙂
I have indeed said I don’t like twangy country music, and I’ve also said that singers like Johnny Cash, Kenny Rogers, Dolly Parton, Bonnie Raitt, and Willie Nelson were all examples of non-twangy singers. Do you consider Cash twangy?
Believing everything happens for a reason doesn’t mean you have to believe God is behind it, but it does kind of nudge you in a theistic direction, i.e., toward the idea that the universe makes some kind of ultimate sense, which many people take to imply that there’s an Ultimate Sense-maker. Post-WW2 (French) existentialism formed when people who had been praying to God looked around them and saw what Europe had become, with its blasted churches and ruined cities. How can anyone seriously believe in God after calling upon God for help and receiving nothing? So existentialists concluded the universe was absurd, and that any meaning one derives from the cosmos is what one hammers out through the exercise of one’s own choices. So this whole notion of “you are the sum of your own choices” comes from the existentialist attitude: in a universe with no inherent meaning or sense, you have to make your own meaning through authentic living, i.e., by taking responsibility for your own choices, by living your own life, not by enslaving yourself to a doctrine or ideology that’s been made by someone else. There’s nothing authentic about that.
I see you’ve taken down the fatty-fucks-granny AI-sexbot comment. Good. The moment I saw the phrase “as you requested” at the beginning (I’m sure you hadn’t “requested” anything), I knew the comment would be up to no good.
Kevin, nope, Cash ain’t twangy. I must have been thinking you just didn’t like country music in general. What’s an example of twangy you don’t like?
Yeah, it is hard to believe in an all-powerful creator who would let His world go to shit, free will of mankind or not. I’m not a man of Biblical faith, but in my fantasies I cling to the idea of something intelligent driving the universe. An intelligent being willing to give me a do-over life to be precise.
I’m trying to tighten up my standards for approving comments. I don’t always spot the AI, but if the comment is unrelated to something I’ve posted, I’ll trash it. Also, attacks on other commenters are verboten. I see I’ve pissed off Linda by deleting her creative writing, but it had nothing to do with this blog, and she can find a better forum for her work.
>nope, no desire to reopen old wounds. For what it is worth, we did talk shortly prior to my leaving Korea. She said she regretted her decision and wanted to try again. I was too far gone by then to take that step. The trust I had in her love for me had disappeared. Maybe I was wrong, but something had died in me by then.
Obviously, we readers don’t know the depth of what you went through. But you still seem to harbor some pretty deep feelings for your Korean ex. I am a forgiving person and certainly do believe in second chances.
If I were judged on the worst episode or period of my life, I would certainly not come out smelling like roses, and probably would be living as a hermit, shunned by just about everyone. LOL I think this is true of every person.
(again, we were not there and you may have already given that second (or third, etc.) chance on that part of your life.)
Brian, the thing that really got me was that I believed my Korean wife would always be by my side. That’s why I gave up my dream of going to the Philippines for her. We had a good run, and I was happy. It was a shock to hear her say she wasn’t. And she was the only wife I was always faithful to…she got the best version of me and rejected it. Ouch!
Once the trust in her was lost, there was no going back for me. I still have feelings, but what is done is done.