Well, it seems the budding romance with Marissa has run its course. You may be asking yourself “what happened?”. Well, nothing happened. That was the problem in a nutshell.
I’m not sure I can get my head around it enough to actually articulate the why of that. Maybe it’s just as simple as being in different places needs-wise. Marissa is independent, a quality I do admire. I don’t think she minds being alone. I on the other hand crave companionship. I want someone to share my life. But more importantly, I want someone who wants to share my life. I just don’t get a warm fuzzy that is something Marissa cares to provide.
I took her out last night. We ate and watched the SOB dance competition. She seemed to enjoy herself. Afterwards I asked if she’d like to go listen to some live music. She said can we go by Alley Cats for one beer first? I was fine with that. One beer became two or three and I finally said “it’s time to go”. She walked me outside and said goodnight. She apparently preferred to be with her friends and co-workers than with me.
Nothing wrong with that. I’d put it in the category of things that are good to know. Doesn’t take the sting of a bruised ego away though.
Anyway, feeling blue this morning. But this too shall pass.
Is this really the end? Somehow, this doesn’t sound like the end. She may be sorting things out in her own head. Anyway, my sympathies, and I hope the blues pass quickly. At least now, you’ve got a little Buddy that you can always come home to.
(Why am I imagining your housekeeper smiling fiendishly at this new turn of events…?)
Haha! She (the housekeeper) doesn’t know. I don’t share those kinds of details with her. I’m more of a “put more diet coke in the fridge” kind of guy as far as she is concerned.
Well, it is interesting. I just had a longish chat with Marissa. She apologized profusely for disappointing me and called herself a “bad girl”. Well, I assured her I didn’t think she was a bad girl at all, just someone who didn’t have feelings for me in the way I’m looking for. There does seem to be an element of miscommunication between us, but if she is incapable of expressing what she does feel for me, it has the same result of leaving me feeling unfulfilled.
I’m going to give it a break and see how I feel after some time passes. Of course, the downside to dating someone who works at your “home” bar is that avoiding her now requires me to miss out on darts, at least on the days she works. Like tonight.
Ah well, life goes on.