Just a quick update from my current “life goes on” adventure. I miss Pamela but I expect she is much further down the moving on road than I am. Walked by her place yesterday on my way to darts. I was on the opposite side of the highway, but I refrained from looking as I passed. Not ready to witness her new life just yet.

As to insights I might have gained, nothing significant to report at this time. I think we were just in different places, a “right love at the wrong time” kind of situation perhaps. Maybe the generational gap played a part in that as well. I don’t think we truly understood each other. And she was just as likely to get pissed by my humorous takes on things as she was to laugh. This breakup has not triggered a bout of depression, but I do carry the burden of sadness. That will pass in time. My takeaway is that our unhappy ending was for the best, perhaps inevitable, especially given her unwillingness to try and talk through and resolve our issues.

But, there are some good things to embrace as well. I’ve already mentioned how much I appreciate the comments and insights my readers here have provided. And I was touched to see that my failures in love inspired a poem called ode to a man who keeps losing women:

you can stick a penis in it
but that doesn't mean you win it
you can get in bed and rock it
but her love ain't in your pocket
you can make her sing a high note
but her foot is still in your scrote
what's the use?
what's the use?
what's the use?

Thanks for that Kevin Kim!

Speaking of Kevin, I came across a post I wrote after the 2017 heartbreak rendered unto me by Loraine. In the comments, Kevin offered up this gem of wisdom:

The Hindu concept of life is that it’s a painful wheel of existence called samsara. We’re chained to this repetitive, revolving wheel through our actions (karma). The object of the game is to gain enough wisdom about the nature of things so as to escape an eternity of repeating the wheel of life-events, again and again, all thanks to our accidental or deliberate unwisdom. Good luck as you examine deep causes and do your best to find liberation from the wheel (moksha) and bliss in your life (ananda). Every day is a new chance to walk a different path!

Yes, indeed! I will definitely seek out a different path. But it won’t be a quest for love. If love is my destiny, it is going to have to find me. I can, and will, be happy without it.

I made a drunken post on Facebook Monday saying “I wasn’t expecting a broken heart for Christmas this year.” Well, that got some reactions and hug emojis, but my favorite comment was from Carol, aka, ex-wife #3:

Carol: get a doll

Me:  haha. A living doll?

Carol: if it’s living it will leave too.

Me:  yeah. Sad but true.

Carol: it’s ok. I think the part you like is the falling “in love”. As long as they keep leaving you get to keep falling over and over. Win-win.

Me:  wow. That’s a good way to look at it. Thanks!

Me: I think I love you!

Carol: You’ll get over it.

Funny shit. On a more serious note, Carol also said the root of my failures is: “because he keeps dating out of his age group and has nothing in common with them socially, economically, religiously, etc.” Yeah, some of my commenters have said the same.

Anyway, my Day 2 Without Her was pretty much like my days were before her.

After the barber, I visited Hideaway bar to see Joy (the cute 23-year-old from Finger Monkey). Bought her a couple of drinks and slipped her some Christmas money so she can buy presents for her kids. She was looking pretty cute, perhaps a sign that my recovery is in progress.

Next stop was Alley Cats for the darts tournament.

While I was at Alley Cats I got a message from someone named Ricardo saying he was coming to my house at 5:00 and would I be home. I said no, I have darts. And who are you? Duh, it was my landlord. Wasn’t expecting a visit from him because he lives in Singapore. Home for the holidays and he wanted to do a meet and greet with me. Sorry!

After darts, my pal Kevin joined me for dinner and more beer at the Outback. Had some good Fish and Chips and chatted with the bartender, Bhel. She is the one I helped out with with surgery expenses. It was good to see her recovered and back at work.

And oh yeah, shopping at Royal. I’ve been hearing about the inflation spiral in the USA and got to witness it first hand in the cheese section:

Alright, this is my Wacky Wednesday. Need to head out for my hike with the Walkers, then rush home, shower up, and head to Baloy for dart league. It’s our last match of the season, thankfully. I hate having to rush around.

That’s where I’m at at the moment. Forward! No more looking back!