It’s a damn good thing that I’m not in Alabama because I’ve decided to abort the last few days of my vacation. I’ll be leaving Sunday as opposed to Thursday now.

I’ve alluded to how things just aren’t working out for me on this trip in earlier posts. I mean, it’s been great seeing some old friends and all but I’m also having to deal with the old baggage I thought I’d left behind me. Instead it seems I’ve just ripped the scab off a still festering wound. Yeah, I know. I’m a fucking pussy. I’ve been berating myself during my long ass walks to no avail. I’m just not happy and really don’t want to prolong the suffering.

Anyway, I’m meeting some friends tonight for dinner. Will take my former team members out for lunch tomorrow and maybe hook up with a few others before I depart Anjeong-ri on Saturday morning. Otherwise there is nothing for me here and it is good to be reminded why I was in such a hurry to get out of Dodge. The better question is why the hell did I come back. No answer for that!

Honestly though, I never gave it a real chance for the year I lived here. I always had one foot in the future (the Philippines) and one foot in the past (my broken life in Seoul). I regret not just embracing the experience and trying to enjoy each day for what it was. But what these past few days, both here and in Seoul, have brought home loud and clear–I no longer have a life in Korea. Time has moved on and it is past time that I did so as well.

In the meantime I continue to retrace old steps. Today I did a four hour walk circumnavigating the perimeter of Camp Humphreys.

I’m used to breaking up my walks into morning/afternoon sessions. Doing four hours in one stretch kicked my ass pretty good.