Did the usual group hike today. We took a Jeepney ride out to Subic Town, then walked the backstreets and neighborhoods before making our way back to Waltermart and the Jeepney ride home. I’ve got some pictures of the trek, but first I want to mention an unexpected trip down memory lane when we ran into a former Hasher named Julica.
I first met Julica shortly after moving to the PI when she regularly attended the Hash. I developed a crush on her and thought we might hook up when we attended an Angeles City Hash event. Julica and her friend Arcel rode down to AC with me and my driver. We weren’t staying at the same hotels, but I thought we had agreed to meet at the Hash signup later. She was a no-show though. The next day at the Hash, she stayed close by my side, fetched my beers, and I thought she was trying to redeem herself. In fact, I was under the impression we were going to go out and hit the bars together that night. Nope. She got out of the van with another group, shrugged, and said “sorry,” then left me sitting there dumbfounded. I don’t know what the deal was, perhaps she had a better offer from someone else. Of course, at that moment I lost all interest in her as a potential girlfriend.
The last time I saw Julica was back in 2019 when she was working on the Kokomo’s floating bar. I wrote about that evening out here.
I last heard from her a few months ago when she used a friend’s Facebook account to contact me and beg for money because she had a sick baby. I was sorry to hear that but had no interest in involving myself in her dramas. There are consequences in making bad life choices.
Which brings us to today. We were walking down the road and a voice calls out “Hi, Scott.” Well, that’s not unusual, Scott’s been around so long he knows a lot of people, even in the backwoods of Subic town. Then the same female voice says “hello, John”. Okay, who is that little lady standing in front of the sari-sari store? Ah, Julica! Well, I was polite but not overly friendly. She lives next door to the sari-sari and we were walking that way, so I paused to say hello to my friend Joy (that’s the Facebook account Julica used to beg for money). She introduced me to her mother who was holding her daughter. I’m glad the baby recovered from whatever it was that ailed her back then.
These past couple of years must have been harsh ones for Julica, she was looking almost as rough as her house. And damn, that house looked bad. Julica said that with all this rain, everything inside was wet. Not surprised that the ramshackle roof isn’t keeping the rain out. It actually made me sorry for her and the tough life she is living. It is easy to forget that the difficult circumstances many folks face have been exacerbated by the idiotic COVID policies. To her credit, Julica didn’t ask me for money today, nor did I offer her any. I did give them a bag of cookies which she seemed to appreciate. I walked away feeling sad.
To the photos then:
And that’s been my Wednesday so far.
UPDATE: And just like clockwork, I got the begging message from Julica (using Joy’s account again). Looks like I’m going to need to block her.
A higher quality of woman, my friend. Aim for that. I notice a lot of white guys go overseas and end up with the trashy, easy local women. They (the guys) have no taste and can’t judge character, or they’re horny, and they just don’t care. If you’re looking for fluff, then fine—you do you. A fuck is a fuck, and a trailer-park skank will service you nicely. But if you’re looking for substance, the Julicas and Joys and other beggars of the world are not for you. Start off by finding an educated woman who is responsible, punctual, responsive in a timely way, can hold her own in a conversation, doesn’t play petty mind games, and who didn’t get pregnant out of wedlock (or abandoned by her guy) as part of a series of godawful-stupid life choices constantly made in the third world, where the poor often shoot themselves in the foot and keep themselves poor. Someone will call me racist for saying all that, but based on what I read on your blog, there are tons of women who fit that description, all to be avoided. Surely, there are better women out there.
Rooting for you. Look outside your normal circles. Assuming you know what you’re after.
Like Kevin said, you are going to have to look outside your normal circles. However, that will most likely involve looking outside your normal locales.
There is an organization called meetup.com
They host (or rather facilitate the organization of) meetings on a wide variety of subjects. Went to couple in Thailand pre pandemic. You can find hiking groups (maybe similar to your hash group but probably different, as I am guessing a fair number of woman would feel uncomfortable with some of the innuendos of your particular hash), political discussion groups, astronomy, environment, sheet metal working, etc. etc etc. Just looked at the Manila list, and there are a shitload of things listed. Of course, that is Manila and I have no idea if anything similar exists in your neck of the woods.
Not saying that there are going to be beautiful, educated, single woman in all of these groups, but I am pretty certain that type of woman will not be found working in the bars of Baretto.
Like that country song by Johnny Lee, I think you are
“Looking for Love in all the wrong Places”
I hear you, guys. Julica is an example of a newbie mistake, back when I didn’t know any better. I didn’t appreciate it at the time, but the revelation of her true nature in AC that day perhaps saved me from myself. I’d like to think I’ve learned to be a better judge of character since then.
Kevin, I don’t disagree with what you are saying. I don’t give most bargirls a second thought (beyond potential membership in my FWB club). Still, there are occasionally diamonds in the rough. That’s how I think of Jessel at this point, although I’m developing doubts as to our compatibility. We have rescheduled our lunch meetup for Friday and I hope to come out of that we a better understanding of the way ahead. I will say that thinking about making a change in my life has made me appreciate the fact that this life I’m living might just suit me. Educated and professional women who are single are rare commodities in these parts. I doubt any of them would be interested in an old white man.
Brian, thanks for the tip on Meetup.com. I actually joined this morning. Alas, there are no groups currently active in the Olongapo area. Heh, maybe I’ll get inspired to start one. I actually have that Johnny Lee song in the playlist I enjoy while solo hiking. The story of my life!
Anyway, I agree with the premise that a lot of the troubles these poor gals face are of their own making. A lot of them probably see guys like me as a ticket out of their poverty. That’s not a solid foundation for a relationship. Something about Jessel “feels” different, I want to find out why. But going in, my eyes are wide-open to the fact that she may not be special after all.
Thanks to you both for keeping me grounded in reality!
Educated and professional women who are single are rare commodities in these parts.
That may be true, but that may also be because of the circles you choose to travel in. Enlarge your circle, move beyond your beloved bars, and I bet you’ll find better women.
Am getting a “here we go again” vibe with Jessel. Charlie Brown once more runs at the football. But I also recognize you may not want more than what’s locally available. Personally, I think this dooms you to an ongoing cycle of the same thing over and over again, but some people like crafting their own little hells. Hell is hot and painful, but at least it’s familiar, and when you’re unwilling to leave your comfort zone, your personal hell is your best and, really, only option.
My opinion, of course. And my opinion notwithstanding, good luck Friday. I mean that sincerely. Jessel may be exactly what you say: a diamond in the rough. I hope she is, but I won’t be shocked if she isn’t.
And it is Friday the 13th too. I’ll need all the luck I can get!
I honestly have no clue what’s up with Jessel at this point, but I’m losing patience with her non-responsiveness. I’m beginning to wonder if she is even going to show up today.
As to your larger point, I’ll concede that I am in my comfort zone but it doesn’t feel like hell. These tentative steps towards changing my life have made me realize that my current circumstances are not so bad and I may well miss the freedom that comes with being single. I’m not sure if that is just a rationalization for cowardice or if I’m heeding the words of Joni Mitchell–“don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone…”
Methinks enlarging my circle is easier said than done, I’ve certainly not seen anything happening or anywhere to go in Barretto where I might encounter a higher quality female. Maybe the gym? I might have to rejoin the dating sites to find something/someone different nearby.