My friend and soulmate, Linda Ketner, succumbed to breast cancer on February 10, 2004. She was 52 years old when she passed away. Four years later, I told our story in this post. Reading that again may provide some context for what I’m writing now. I still think of her frequently and often wonder what she’d have to say about the way I’m currently living my life. I’m sure she would get a laugh out of it, but as was her nature, she’d also offer me support and encouragement. She was my best friend and guardian angel, and I’ll never stop missing her.
What prompted me to revisit the memories of this amazing woman after all these years? Well, it was that damn box with this envelope inside:
I’m sure I looked at the contents when I received it, but I haven’t looked inside again during this century. I just haven’t wanted to revisit the pain, I suppose. From what I recall, it contained the letters I had sent her over the years before email became a thing. I still have not looked to see what else I might find, but I reached in yesterday and pulled this out:
My plan is to excerpt parts of it here because as I reread it, I couldn’t help but feel like she was in the room talking to me. Her personality seems to shine through her words; at least, it did for me. And it also tells the tragic story of her life; cancer was only one of the battles she fought. Preserving the words she wrote to me here on my aptly titled blog is the closest I can come to bringing her back to this world she left behind. Perhaps no one will care about this project but me, and that’s okay. You never know, though. Maybe someone in her family will find her name on the internet and learn what an amazing woman she truly was.
Much more to come soon.
She was of Italian stock and had a German surname (Ketner = chain seller). I can dig that. I’ve got a German (Austrian, but German-language) surname, but a whole branch of my family tree is Irish (Travers). My brother Sean carries the Irish heritage in his middle name, which is Travers. So she was a red-blooded mongrel American.
Sounds like an amazing woman, but it seems that, as a couple, your timing sucked. May she rest in peace.
Yes, it was one of those weird things–great together but unable to make a couple connection. That’s more my fault than hers, naturally. In retrospect, perhaps that was a blessing. Given my history, I’d probably have fucked things up and lost the friend of a lifetime.