I had some really outstanding comments on the Living Dangerously post. As you faithful readers obviously know, LTG is as much a personal diary as anything else. I’m always frankly amazed that people follow my “trials, tribulations, and adventures” as recounted here. But the heartfelt comments and advice I’ve gotten along the way have meant so much more to me than you can ever know. So, I really wanted to acknowledge that and sincerely say thank you!
Aaron (a reader since 2005!) commented on the pending retirement of his parents and his concerns on how well they will fare in the transition. He’s following along with me for any insights he might glean from my journey. Well, it might be more of a “how not to guide, but my life here is pretty much an open book. It may be recalled that this is actually my second go at being retired, having originally stopped working at the tender age of 55 back on December 31, 2010. In that iteration, I was living six months in the USA and six months in Korea. And of course, I had my Korean wife with me back then. The first year was a busy one; both of my parents died, I bought and remodeled a house, and reestablished relationships with family and friends. And then things settled down into a comfortable routine which while sometimes boring, seemed like it was going well. The bombshell that my wife was unhappy in her life with me and wanted a divorce ended those dreams and that life. So I wound up going back to work for another three years.
This is my “do over” retirement. Before getting married I had planned on retiring to the Philippines. And now here I am. I’m still only five months into my life here so it’s a work in progress. I’m getting settled and slowly but surely finding my way. Yes, I probably spend too much time in the bars but at least I’m not one of those guys I see drinking at breakfast time (and I don’t drink at home either). The biggest void in my life I think is not having someone to love who loves me back. Finding someone who actually had some common interests would be icing on the cake (I’d really enjoy having a partner at the Hash for example). As commenter Kevin Kim has often advised I’m looking for love in all the wrong places. But the right kind of places are few and far between here in Barretto. So I need to expand my horizons and I’ve got some plans to do so, even if it means going back on the dating sites.
I don’t think I’m anywhere near as bored with my retired life this go round, but it’s still early in the game so we’ll see. I enjoyed my work but really don’t miss it much. The people and the social connections were really what mattered. I think it takes time to build something similar, but without the common bond of work that is much more difficult. Commenter Brandon recommends that I develop some hobbies and suggests gardening as an example. That’s probably not for me, but I do have darts and walking and will also be incorporating some travel into my lifestyle. So really, I think on balance I’m doing okay.
If I could just find a girlfriend! I think if I fuck up it’s going to be out of a sense of desperation. I had a bargirl friend who needed some extra money over to the house to give me a massage the other day (and that’s all it was, no happy ending!). And now there’s another woman who is friends with my helper wanting to provide me massage services. She’s married though and I’m not comfortable with that. On the other hand, tonight I’ll be helping a gal from Treasure Island celebrate her 30th birthday. She’s a sweetie and a cutie but I don’t have any illusions about why I’m coming to the party. To foot the bill of course. Her friend has already let me know that Jessa would love a new phone as a birthday present. And you know what, I don’t mind getting her one. I’d like her to remember her 30th as much as I do mine!
And I guess that’s the other thing about living here. I can afford to be generous. I’m very popular in the bars I frequent. But I’m also able to help out some folks when they are in need and that’s a good feeling. Just today I was asked if I could contribute some funds to help my downstairs caretaker who was recently hospitalized. I gave 2000 pesos (about $40.) which is no big deal to me but apparently will help him a lot in terms of getting the medicine he needs. Don’t get me wrong, I live on a budget but my budget allows me to live large by local standards. I’d say my standard of living is high compared to a large percentage of the expat community as well. As I’m often reminded, I’m a lucky man and in the bigger scheme of things what I perceive as problems are really meaningless.
So, yeah. That’s my life. It could be worse and it’s bound to get better. Thanks to my readers for joining me on the journey!
They will tell you you can’t sleep alone in a strange place
Then they’ll tell you you can’t sleep with somebody else
Ah, but sooner or later you sleep in your own space
Either way it’s OK, you wake up with yourself
I don’t need you to worry for me ’cause I’m alright
I don’t want you to tell me it’s time to come home
I don’t care what you say anymore, this is my life
Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone
I never said you had to offer me a second chance
I never said I was a victim of circumstance
I still belong, don’t get me wrong
And you can speak your mind, but not on my time
I don’t care what you say anymore, this is my life
Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone
Happy just to ride along. Continued good fortune to you.