A very pleasant gathering with friends and neighbors yesterday to give thanks for all the blessings that come with living in the unique paradise of the Philippines. Drinking began at 4 pm, and food was served at 6. I had two Thanksgiving-sized helpings, and by 7:30, something went wrong. I think it was more about over-ingestion of food than alcohol, but perhaps it was an unhealthy combination of the two. Whatever it was, I knew I needed to lie down, so I shamefully said an early goodnight to the hosts and other guests, and Swan escorted me home. Once I was tucked in, she returned next door and stayed until the conclusion of the party at 10:30 p.m.
Well, I did go back to bed at four and managed to sleep until six, so I’m well-rested today.
It was fun while it lasted, that’s for sure. Folks seemed to enjoy the fruit salad I contributed. The candied yams and green bean casserole were my favorite sides. Good times!
Continuing on in the September 2015 LTG archives, I recount (mostly through photos) a visit with the wife to Nami Island. It was part of my ongoing effort to make my wife happy. Alas, it was an effort destined to fail.
Also in the archives was a link to this post, where I weigh in on the issue of prostitution and human trafficking in the bars. I have to admit, I was pretty shocked to find a post with some substance here at LTG.
Despite my fantasies, I have to accept that time travel is outside the realm of human existence. The next best thing is videos from the past, like this one entitled “Subic Bay Liberty Call.” The song is nice too.
Humor me:
And we’ll leave it at that for today. Thanks for reading!
It doesn’t matter what day you celebrate, it’s the thought that counts.
Sigh… spot the error (same one yet again)….
so I’m well-rested today.
Sigh… what’s the rule about phrasal adjectives?
It was fun while it lasted, that’s for sure. Folks seemed to enjoy the fruit salad I contributed. The candied yams and [green-bean] casserole were my favorite sides.
Sorry to read about the food overdose, but the food looked great, and it seemed to be a good time. Happy pre-Thanksgiving to you and yours.
Oh—why wasn’t the fruit salad one of your favorites? Personally, I wouldn’t add the color marshmallows until right before serving the salad. Otherwise, they melt into a brown mush (brown after the colors combine) when you put them in too early. They might even be better as a kind of tacky topping. Me, I’d love your Aunt Pat’s recipe a lot more if it didn’t have goddamn shredded coconut in it. I hate shredded coconut almost as much as I hate stringy onions in my burgers, spaghetti, and pizza.
It was part of my ongoing effort to make my wife happy. Alas, it was an effort destined to fail.
Did you ever try to engage your Korean wife in regular walking the way you’ve done with Swan? Or was your time in Korea just a tiny, repetitive merry-go-round of bars, darts, drinking, talking in English, then more bars, darts, drinking, and talking in English? If so, I’m beginning to see what the problem was: a life lived without a sense of imagination or adventure which, to your credit, you seem to have acquired (an occasional sense of adventure, I mean) since. I’m not saying that every single day needs to include variety, but having common projects or goals (like Hash-style walking), punctuated by big trips every few months, plus making an effort to show interest in the local culture instead of screening it out by always going where like-minded, familiar people are is a better recipe for relationship success than doing the same damn thing over and over and over. When there’s no growth and no goals anymore, nothing to aim for, and only a contentedly bleary haze brought on by alcohol—a contentment that can’t be shared—well, that’s when life becomes stale. I’m glad you’ve got a good thing with Swan, and I’m glad you’re engaged in regular walking and semi-regular long trips. I guess you’ve discovered that you could’ve done that back in Korea. Maybe in some alternate universe, there’s a John who figured that out. In which case, your much-desired do-over life is already being done over.
Happy early Thanksgiving.
@Kevin is correct in that routine makes the time pass quickly such that one day runs into the next.
>Time seems to go by faster because of the combination of fewer new experiences and the way our brain processes routine activities. Childhood is filled with novelty, leading to densely packed, vivid memories that make time feel slow in retrospect. As we age, routine becomes more common, leading to fewer distinct memories, which makes time feel like it is slipping by quickly.
Obviously, things by default are going to be more of a novelty as a kid. First time you see a squirrel – super cool and amazing. When you see one as an adult. Meh.
Goes to show that it is important to seek out new things and get out of the rut. Having said it, if a person is happy with the routine that they are in, good for them. Everybody is different.
Come on, John, I read the peace plan. Sounds a lot like a US business deal to me. USA gets 100B dollars for their participation. They get 50% of revenue from investments. They also get a mineral extraction deal. In addition. Russia gets their assets unfrozen. The assets are added in a monetary USA-Russia development font. Russia is also re-admittet to G8. Mean while, Europe pays 100B dollar to Ukraine development.
This all sounds like absolute bullshit to me. But it doesn’t stop here. Oh no, John. It gets worse, and you’re going to have to believe it because it’s the godawful truth.
Ukraine’s sovereignty has to be confirmed. Ukraine must withdraw soldiers from Donetsk and Luhansk territories which Ukraine still holds. The frontline is frozen in Kherson and Zaporizhzhia, and Russia gets to keep that territory. A limit on 600.000 soldiers will be implemented to ukraines armed forces. Ukraine must also add to their constitution that they won’t ever become a member of NATO. Ukraine must have an election no later than 100 days from when the memorandum is in effect. These points does not respect the first point: Ukraines sovereignty must be respected, and it will also require a national vote to change the constitution.
Russia has to withdraw troops from other Ukrainian oblasts that are not mentioned. Meaning Kharkiv, and Denipro.
Ukraine gets reliable security guarantees. Now, this one has me almost laughing. Because some of these points are VERY specifik. But this one is so incredibly vague, and it is one point that Ukraine has said they won’t compromise.
All in all, the deal is: let’s reward the USA for doing absolutely nothing to help Ukraine, and negotiating Ukraine surrender on behalf of Ukraine even though Ukraine never asked them to and certainly not their surrender. Let’s also reward Russia for starting the war, and naturally, let’s have Europe pay the entire bill because: Fuck Europe that’s why!
I mean, the fact you think all this is acceptable and “a great gosh darn deal” as you put it says more about your character than anything else, John.
Devin, I don’t know you, and you obviously don’t know me. I’ve never posted anything about Ukraine, so this comment is total bullshit. I’ve been blogging for over 20 years now, and this is the first time I’ve felt compelled to tell a commenter: FUCK OFF YOU CUNT!
Brian, maybe it comes with growing older, but I find comfort, peace, and tranquility in my routines. Then again, most of us spend a lifetime doing the “8 to 5” daily routine, so maybe being lazy in retirement is a benefit. That said, I do enjoy a change of scenery now and then. I’m looking forward to next week’s adventure in a place I’ve never been: Siargao Island.
Anyway, I plan to get out of town at least once a month and do something different to keep life interesting. I’m satisfied with the lifestyle I’ve chosen, which admittedly, isn’t for everyone. I hope to keep it going for as long as possible.
Kevin, I needed a semicolon instead of a comma in that first sentence. Just me being sloppy as usual.
I’m not sure about the phrasal adjective problem. Is it the hyphen?
The fruit salad tasted fine, but I wasn’t pleased with its appearance. I have to make do with the ingredients I can find. Back in the day, I’d use dried coconut that comes in bags, but that’s not available here for some reason. So, I had to use fresh-from-the-shell coconut (they call it “buko” Here) instead. The purpose of the coconut is to sweeten up the sour cream base somewhat, but alas, the stuff I used didn’t accomplish that. Swan suggested adding some canned sweetened condensed creamer, and that did the trick. The marshmallows, also intended to add sweetness, were larger than I liked and negatively impacted the salad aesthetically. Next time I’ll try to find a smaller version.
I met Jee Yeun when she was doing pedicures at a salon on the Army base. Our first dates were in Itaewon, and she was my shadow on dart nights. The other players jokingly complained about my having a cheerleader as an unfair advantage. I wasn’t a regular hiker back then, but we’d do occasional climbs up Seroksan and Namsan. We’d also get out of town together, visiting temples or taking trips to the East and West coasts. And, of course, after I retired, we lived six months of the year in South Carolina. And then, she decided not to go back to the States with me. She also stopped coming with me for darts in Itaewon. I never understood why, but tried to find ways to find alternative things to do she might enjoy. But in the end, I failed. “I no have happy life with you. I want divorce” were the words that stabbed my in the heart. Honestly, I’ve never gotten over it.
And you still haven’t given her the divorce. You’ve long said that she’s never asked for one, but she did ask at least once. The ball is in your court. What was married life like in the States? More bars, beer, and darts? I can see how lack of imagination might be soul-crushing.
Of course, to be fair, she was a full and equal partner in the marriage, so she could have used her imagination, too, to spice things up. And I’m not talking about porcupine-shaped sex toys. Still, it seems as though both of you refused to carry the weight of the relationship.
I’m guessing that “Seroksan” is Seoraksan. From 설악산, i.e., “seol-ak-san.”
Swan’s suggestion for how to temper the sourness of the sour cream was a good one. Or use sweetened evaporated milk. Marshmallows: add at the very end, right before serving.
As for your coconut issue: consider becoming an Amazon Prime member and get your coconut that way. Or use whatever phone-app equivalent the PI has to Amazon. I use Coupang a lot in Korea. But I also use services like iHerb and Amazon. I bet the PI has dozens of ways for you to obtain your dried, shredded coconut. Google has a “shop” feature; click on it and go from there.
A quick online search shows the following shopping apps in the PI:
Lazada
MetroMart
Pick-a-Roo
GrabMart
Food Panda
There are many more. No reason to sit around all passive and helpless in the age of online self-empowerment!
Yes, that first grammar problem was your classic comma splice. The second problem broke the rule of phrasal adjectives: hyphenate when they come BEFORE the nouns they modify.
• a well-written essay
• an essay that was well written
• a six-foot(-tall) man
• a man who was six feet (tall)
• a well-rested John
• John was well rested
• green-bean casserole
• casserole with green beans
I did a BOE on phrasal adjectives at least once. Do a search for “phrasal adjective” and really study it. Don’t let others keep doing your work for you—quoting grammar rules you can look up, suggesting apps and online options you can find yourself, etc. Be proactive, not passive. You’re a smart guy.
Exactly the type of response I’d expect from a Putin-worshipping capitalist. Thanks for proving my point, John. A cad clearly cannot hide their true colors.
Kevin, nothing is stopping Jee Yeun from getting the divorce she said she wanted—no reason for me to do it. In fact, as long as I’m legally married, I get a tax break that saves me $1500 or so a year. During our time in the USA, Jee Yeun was really into the family scene, especially the grandkids. It really surprised me when she gave that life up. Anyway, it may not have been the most exciting life, but I was happy with it and more than willing to spice things up with trips out of town. I did my best, and in the end, it just wasn’t good enough for reasons I’ll never understand.
Yes, I meant Seoraksan. I just spelled it phonetically. I used to love those hikes.
I use Lazada regularly, but when I looked at their coconut offerings, I wasn’t sure it was what I was looking for. Next time I won’t wait so long to order a bag.
Alright, I *think* I’ll remember the hyphenation rule in the future…BEFORE the modified noun, not AFTER. Got it!
Feel free not to answer, as it really is none of my business. (But, it obviously does not stop me from asking. LOL)
Would an official divorce have an impact on (either positive or negative) on your pension?
Is Swan or you in any legal danger living with you? IIRC, you have previously mentioned that adultery is technically against the law in the PI and can result in some pretty severe penalties.
Brian, I suppose if she lawyered up, she could try to make a case for a portion of my pension. I don’t think she’d he successful given the circumstances of her not being American or living in the USA. We’ve also been apart longer than we were married.
No, the Philippine adultery laws don’t apply to my situation. She’s not Filipino, and neither am I, so she has no grounds. As I understand it, a Filipino husband can bring charges if I was sleeping with his wife (even if they have been separated for years), but absent a complaint, the authorities have no basis for action.
Re: legal jeopardy
I was thinking more in terms of Swan. If she could get in trouble living with you; her not being married and you being married, but not to her.
Though, I am guessing that the PI authorities have bigger fish to fry. And if they went after you or others in your situation, they would probably round up 25% of the expats in the PI. LOL
Brian, as I understand it, the authorities do not pursue adultery charges absent a formal complaint from the spouse. I hear the reality is that only cheating wives are ever prosecuted.