Luckily, I didn’t have to experience the nightmare firsthand. I wound up taking the My Bitch option to the Hash On-Home at Always Wet’s house on Rizal Extension. I had a few beers there, then left before the Circle commenced. I was one of the first to arrive, which wasn’t that unusual given my relatively short alternative trail, but what was weird was that the Hare, Vienna Sausage, had yet to return from marking the trail. His girlfriend (Always Wet) said he’d left at ten in the morning and was still out there. Hmm, it was 3:30 now, and the Hashers had started the trail at 2:00. What was going on? It was close to four when the first runner, Leech My Nuggets, showed up, and he wasn’t a happy camper. It seems that the Hare had gotten lost in the thick underbrush and rampant grasses at this time of year. Leech encountered Vienna during his retreat, and they found a different way down from Kalaklan Ridge.

But wait, it gets worse. The Circle normally starts at 4:00 p.m., but there were still several unaccounted-for Hashers at that time, so we waited. And waited. I still had the walk back into town ahead of me, so I decided to leave shortly after five. As I departed, five of the missing Hashers arrived via trike. Yep, they had been lost but eventually found a way back down from the ridge. I didn’t see Gary and his wife (new enough to the Hash to be unnamed), but I assumed they had taken a trike, too, and decided to go home. So, I proceeded on my hike back to town and went to the after-Hash venue at IDM to await my fellow Hashers. I was enjoying my beers and telling jokes to the waitresses I was treating to lady drinks (that always makes my jokes funnier somehow) when I saw my phone had a “missed call” from a name I didn’t recognize. When I opened Messenger, I saw this:

John, it’s Gary. We are stuck up on the mountain. Can you call please.

Oh shit. It was after seven now and pitch black outside. And it was raining. Getting down from Kalaklan Ridge is challenging under the best circumstances. But being lost up there in the dark is the stuff of nightmares. I don’t hear well on the phone, so I went over to another Hasher, Demolition Derby, and asked him to help with the call to Gary. Derby had Gary describe his surroundings and guessed that he might be on or near the ridgeline road. It’s dirt and rugged but easier to hike than a trail, especially at night. There are also occasional shacks and people to maybe provide assistance. Thirty minutes later, Gary messaged that “all was okay now.” We called back, and they had found the ridgeline road and were making their way down to the highway. They still had a long way to go. It was after nine when he messaged that they had made it home. Scary shit. I hope I never have to experience being lost in the middle of nowhere when the sun goes down.

Here are the “Hash” photos I took during my journey on the Bitch.

And now you know the rest of the story. The sad thing was, by the time we learned we had lost Hashers, the rest of us were in no condition to attempt a rescue. That’s why it’s best to stick with a group that knows their way around whenever possible.

Eight years ago I had a drunken birthday at Shenanigans in Itaewon:

Today’s YouTube video is a brief update on the Philippines mayor who turned out to be a Chinese spy. It seems she has fled the country. Surprise, surprise.

And some quick humor (I have a party to attend to):

So, it’s my birthday and we are having a party at The Rite Spot. Except it is raining at the moment. Here’s hoping that ends soon. Swan and her family having been cooking up tons of food, mostly stuff I like (baby back ribs, chicken wings, etc). I’ve also got some chili brewing in the crockpot. I’ll give you a full report on the festivities tomorrow!