Another taking care of business Tuesday. It was time to renew my tourist visa again, so we hit the road with my driver a little earlier than usual. We made an ATM stop at the Harbor Point Mall BPI (Bank of the Philippine Islands) branch, and for the second week in a row, the machine was “offline.” Luckily, I had the foresight to bring enough cash with me to purchase a 60-day visa extension (2800 pesos). I was the first customer of the day at immigration and completed the paperwork in record time. So, I’ll be sticking around until August at least.
Next, we drove to the other side of SBMA to visit the BPI ATMs located there. They have three machines, so I was confident I’d come away with my stash of cash. I inserted my card, punched in my info, and got the usual “your transaction is being processed” screen. And then nothing happened. I hit cancel, retrieved my card, and moved to the next machine—same result. So, I gave up, and we headed back to Royal to take care of the grocery shopping chore. I pay there by credit card, so my lack of funds was not an issue. No problems at Royal other than the usual “out of stock” frustrations (how the fuck do you not have cans of Coke Zero available?). We stopped at 7/11 on the way home, where I successfully withdrew enough funds to pay my expenses for a few more days. What a life, huh?
The day did get better. At beer o’clock, we strolled out to Baloy Beach. I was planning to pay a visit to McCoy’s beach bar, but as we approached, the karaoke was already blaring. No, thank you, we kept on walking.
We wound up making Kokomo’s our thirst-quenching venue. The old floating bar crew was there to serve us. Owner Steve and his wife were there to greet us and a couple of other customers came in during our visit.
Kokomo doesn’t do food, so when it was time to eat, we went next door to DaKudos/Foxhole for some grub. They finally have the “beach bar” open, such as it is. It is basically just a place to sit on uncomfortable stools. Poor Jessa, the bartender/waitress, has to cover the whole bar/dining room/beach bar single-handedly. She gave me a button to push to summon her when I needed service. Kokomo’s had four girls and one-quarter of the area to serve, so it was a much more attention-friendly environment. I’m not sure what the Foxhole owner is thinking, but absent some changes the so-called beach bar is a no-go for me.
Another weird thing happened during our Foxhole visit. In the picture above, you’ll see a small table on the beach at the lower left. That’s a bottle of Red Horse beer on the table. The Filipino couple sitting there got up and walked to the water’s edge to take some photos. While they were gone, a tall foreigner dude walked up, grabbed the beer, guzzled it, put it back on the table, and went inside DaKudos. Jessa said he just walked through. The girls next door at Kokomo’s saw what happened and told the couple. The couple threw away the beer, gathered their valuables, and returned to their room. Never saw anything quite like that before.
We left soon after for home.
Today is Independence Day in the Philippines. What is being celebrated is their declared independence from Spain in 1898. That wasn’t going well for them until Uncle Sam came in to kick some Spanish ass as part of our broader war effort. Of course, with Spain’s defeat, we took over the Philippines and had to subdue some resistance to a new overlord. We granted independence to the Philippines on July 4, 1946. For many years, that was the day Filipinos celebrated being finally free of the imperialist yoke. I’m not sure why the holiday was changed, but I guess it doesn’t matter. Freedom isn’t free, and now they have to defend it from Chinese incursions. I reckon we’ll be called in to help with that.
In somewhat related news, the Philippines is establishing an air defense base at the old U.S. Naval Air Station at Cubi Point, which was part of the former Navy base. This is in direct response to the recent Chinese aggression. I expect honest Filipinos will admit the rash decision in 1991 not to renew the agreement to have US bases in the Philippines wasn’t too smart. China never fucked around like they are doing now when we had a large military presence here. Oh, well. Of course, if and when war breaks out, Subic will now be a prime target, and I’m likely to become collateral damage. I need to update my list of ways I might die to include being bombed and attacked by crazy carabaos.
Speaking of photography, I came across this truism:
I’m not saying one thing leads to another, but I also came across this old meme today:
I keep hearing that it is Pride Month. I am not a big fan, but out of respect for those who care about Pride, I’ll pay my respects.
So, I had a lot of Facebook memories to reflect on today.
Today’s video is another from Reekay. In it, he distinguishes between good and bad Filipinas and the various stages of relationships with them. I could relate. And yes, I finally found a good one. The video is worth the watch just for the pretty women who serve as a backdrop to his narrative. And yes, I feel free to look, but I no longer touch.
This isn’t part of today’s humor, but it is a funny poem. When I shared it with Swan, she laughed.
For I shall always let thee do,
In generous love, just what I please.
Peace comes, and discord flies away,
Love’s bright day follows hatred’s night;
For I am ready to admit
That you are wrong and I am right.
Now, for the funny stuff:
One more:
Okay, I’ve tortured you enough for one day. Come back tomorrow for another dose!
re: those ATMs
Why is a simple ATM withdrawal so damn difficult there? We’re pampered here in Korea, I guess. Unless you’re a tourist here, and searching for a “global” ATM that’s actually global. Most ATMs here don’t work well with non-Korean cards. I’m a resident with a Korean bank account, and I have plenty of money in the bank, so that’s not an issue for me. The PI would drive me crazy.
re: that poem
That’s the poem all the ladies march to, I’m sure.
And yes, I finally found a good one.
Do you think she’s making you a better person? If yes, in what ways would you say you’ve improved?
Title reminded me of Churchill’s remarks in his speech to the Candian Congress.
“Missshter Hitler said he would ring England’s neck like a chicken. Some chicken!……
…..some neck.”
IDK could mean:
1. I Dig Korea
2. I Date Koreans
3. I Delude Koreans.
Sorry, that’s all I’ve got.
IDK for me means Intermittent Diarrhea Kaos. After several more pints of vodka and a hefty amount of beer yesterday I went for a piss at the local library on the way to pick up more drinks. Pretty sure I didn’t need a shit as I’d had explosive asspiss diarrhea all morning and there was nothing left in me to shit out. I hadn’t eaten since…Friday, I think, so it’s all been pure liquid. I decided to use the urinal instead of my usual disabled stall. As I was shaking my dick around to get the last drops of pee out I strained to clean the pipes and…yup, you guessed it: biggest mistake of the day since waking up alive.
I shat my pants. I felt this gush of hot, liquid, awful tickle my ass cheeks. No, no, no, no, no, no! I dashed into one of the stalls and ripped my trousers down. Mercifully, there was only like a cup’s worth of asspiss in the ‘seat’ of my pants. The cheeks caught most of the damage when I reflexively clenched, to prevent a stream of awful from running down my leg(s). Thus began the laborious task of wipe, wipe, wiping.
Every handful of toilet paper I brought up still looked like someone threw curry at me, and I was worried about the auto-timer for the lights in the bathroom going off since there’s no one else in there. I made a snap decision, scraped/wiped off the asspiss in my trousers, listened for anyone incoming, then charged out of the stall to grab some of the heavy duty hand towels they had at the sink, liberally applied soap and water, before I ducked back into the stall. The moistened, soapy, hand towels did the trick and eventually stopped looking orange/yellow when I examined them.
Sure, I headed home with a soapy, soggy, ass, but some relieved bowels and a bag full of brews, too. Let’s get it on!
Thompson, it sounds like a really shitty situation. At least you took care of that crap effectively. You must have been pooped once you finished cleaning. Glad the rest of the day didn’t stink.
“When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.”
Hunter S. Thompson
Good stuff, Dan. Churchill had a way with words, that’s for sure.
I think IDK might mean Instant Death Kills, but maybe that’s too obvious.
Kev, the most common problem with ATMs is they tend to run out of cash on weekends/holidays. I think the issue Tuesday may have been a slow internet connection that wouldn’t connect with my USA bank account. And no, I don’t have a Philippine bank account–they are hard to get on a tourist visa. Don’t think I’d want one anyway. Once a week at the ATM for pocket money and wire transfers for everything else is how I roll. Of course, that makes me vulnerable to the whims of the ATMs, but that’s life here. Relax. Take a deep breath. Accept the Filipino way.
Well, I guess one way I’m better is no longer being a whore. I won’t lie and say that I never think back to those wild days, but then I think about having a gal by my side who genuinely wants what is best for me and takes care of my health and emotional needs, and I know I’m a lucky man.
Re: foreigner drinking the beer. Weird! Ever seen him around before? Wonder if he already was three sheets to the wind.
Brian, he came into Wet Spot briefly last night. Apparently, he likes to drink and then walk out without paying. They cut him off after one beer. The manager says he was wounded as an American servicemember in Somalia and is a little off mentally. I hope he finds the help he needs.