So I mentioned recently meeting Heidi, a bartender at Cheap Charlies. There was just something about her that instantly attracted me. She’s cute enough I suppose, but it wasn’t just her physical appearance that caught my eye. I really can’t explain it, but perhaps the chemistry that triggers a “love at first sight” reaction is inexplicable anyway.
I do know that at least for me it is a very rare event. I can count the occurrences in my lifetime on one hand. And I learned a long time ago that when those feelings arise you owe it to yourself (and the object of your desire) to at a minimum let the person know of your interest. There are worse things than rejection and I would count a missed opportunity for something rare and special among them.
But it is also true that even rarer than the type of attraction I immediately felt for Heidi is for those feelings to be mutual and reciprocated. That kind of power and intensity is usually only found in a Nicholas Sparks love story (and yeah, I really liked The Notebook, sue me!). So, there was no question I was going to find a way to convey my interest to Heidi, but how would she respond? Only one way to find out.
Given the nature of her work it was simple enough to buy her some drinks and chat her up. And honestly, the more I got to know about her the stronger my feelings became. She’s got a good head on her shoulders and a mature and responsible outlook on life. We have some common interests, including darts and walking. Heidi also has a nice sense of humor, she laughs at my jokes (well, okay the girls all laugh at my jokes because I’m buying them drinks) and she also tells her own. I like that!
I asked her if she had a passport and she said yes, although the only country she’s visited is Vietnam. I teasingly said we needed to take a romantic holiday in Bali and she told me she really wanted to visit Spain. I asked why and she told me her dream was to hike the Camino de Santiago. I had honestly never heard of that but when she explained I was once again very impressed. Could she truly be the one I’ve been waiting for?
So I dove in the best way I know how, which may not be the best way. I told her I’d really like to take her out when she gets a day off and she seemed down with that. Then I gave her my phone number. She didn’t offer her’s in return, but she did clean up my writing enough so she could read my number correctly. And that’s where I left it, the ball squarely in her court.
I dropped into Cheap Charlies last night for a beer or three and Heidi wasn’t there. Her friend Andi told me she had the day off. Okay, well then. I understand she might have been busy on her only day off, but it would have been nice to at least get a text message from her. Reading my disappointment, Andi suggested I enhance my pursuit game. And I told her no, I won’t do that. Heidi knows how I feel and what I want. If she doesn’t feel or want the same thing there’s no point in pursuit. I still have my pride and really as arrogant as it may sound, why should I have to chase after a Filipina bargirl? I could give her a life she can only dream about (including that trip to Spain). If that’s not what she wants, so be it.
Anyway, I’m good either way. I saw and felt something rare and I acted on it. Apparently it was just not meant to be. Such is life.
I saw her today at the reception
In her glass was a bleeding man
She was practiced at the art of deception
Well I could tell by her blood-stained hands
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You just might find
You get what you need
UPDATE: Will I ever come up with an original title for a post again? I also asked “What does love have to do with it?” three years ago.
It feels a bit corny to recommend this, but the movie “The Way,” starring Martin Sheen, is actually a great guide to the Camino de Santiago (literally, “the Way of Saint James”—Iago, like the character in Othello, is one Spanish form of “James”). The movie is about a father who loses his son (Emilio Estevez, appearing in flashbacks of memory and in hallucinations); the son had been planning to walk the Camino de Santiago, but died in a storm in the Pyrenees, having only barely begun the Way. The father decides, after having his son cremated in France, to put on his boy’s gear and do the walk his son never had the chance to do. This wasn’t a megahit movie by any means, and as dramas go, it’s relatively quiet, although there are some flare-ups of conflict as the doctor meets various colorful characters along the trail. Despite the movie’s understated tone, the cinematography is wonderful, and you’ll definitely end up with a grand impression of the Camino itself—its twists and turns, and the various rest stops along the way, some of which seem inviting enough, others of which appear rough and spartan.
Europe is shot through with amazing trails. I’d like to hike the GR5, from the Holland coast all the way down to Nice, but that one’s rather intimidating because it goes through several mountain ranges, waaay up and waaay down. The Camino, meanwhile, is globally famous, so if you’re an introvert, you might not appreciate all the people hiking the trail with you—a fact that the Martin Sheen movie doesn’t back away from. It’s a crowded experience, apparently.
Anyway, if Heidi proves to be interested (there’s still hope! she sounds like a good’n), I hope you’ll consider putting the Camino on your list of things to do. At this point, with all the training you’ve had doing the local mountains, I’d say you’re in far better shape than I am to tackle something like the Way. Good luck with both walking and Heidi-ing.
As for this:
…when those feelings arise you owe it to yourself (and the object of your desire) to at a minimum let the person know of your interest. There are worse things than rejection and I would count a missed opportunity for something rare and special among them.
I consider myself rebuked. Heh.
Heh, indeed! You still can go back to see her on some pretext!
Oddly enough, Heidi mentioned that movie when she was explaining to me what the Camino de Santiago was all about. She didn’t know the name of it though, so that’s a big assist. Thanks!
It could be I’m trapped in a paradox. I crave a smart woman but alas, smart women are smart enough to avoid me. Damn, I hate when that happens!
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