Comments Posted By Kevin Kim
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Grammarly is wrong again! In the sentence
And if I ever win the lottery I’ll hire you as my personal editor.
—the “if” cause (subordinate/dependent clause) must be followed by a comma. No comma if the dependent clause comes at the end. Look at these examples:
If you fart on me again, I’ll fucking kill you. (comma)
I’ll fucking kill you if you fart on me again. (no comma)After Ozzy stunned the chicken, he made sweet love to it. (comma)
Ozzy made sweet love to the chicken after he stunned it. (no comma)So: use a comma if the subordinate/dependent clause comes first, but don’t use a comma if that clause comes last.
QUIZ: which of the following sentences need commas, and where should you put the commas?
1. Unless you’re Barack Obama you’re never eating this puppy.
2. You can go on the kiddie ride unless you’re a perv.
3. After he pounded down three more beers he confessed he was wearing a garter and loved Hello Kitty.
4. If he’d been trained as a sniper he would have hit the kitten with his first shot.
5. He had a strong urge to piss after he’d had his way with the sheep.Good luck!
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 17/September/2019 @ 8:33 pm
Rascal, you’re hilarious!
I promise not to be a hectoring, grammar-Nazi asshole on these comment threads. Wouldn’t want to wear out my welcome.
And I suspect your mind is as sharp as a newly forged katana, with not a hint of Alzheimer’s to dull it!
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 16/September/2019 @ 9:51 pm
Pretty good, but here are some gaffes I found. Corrections are [in brackets].
1. And as I write this[,] I’m downloading an app…
2. …an app called “Grammarly” [that] purports to flag…
(Many people think “that” and “which” are interchangeable. In terms of modern usage, which is sloppy, I suppose they are. The technical distinction is that you use “that” before restrictive clauses, and “which” before non-restrictive clauses. More on that later.)3. Shame[,] mostly.
4. And his post is just part 1 of a [nine]-part effort.
(The list keeps growing as I think of new things!)5. I’m not being facetious when I say that[,] when it comes to all things grammar…
(You have to wall off your parenthetical expressions with commas on both sides.)6. “FANBOY[.”]
(More British punctuation! It’s fine if you’re a Brit; it’s not if you’re a damn Yankee. Also: it’s FANBOYS, with an “S.” Don’t forget the conjunction “so.” Type it ten times!)7. I don’t want to feel [as if] I’m back in high school writing an essay.
(Don’t use “like” in front of clauses. Use “as” or “as if” or “as though,” depending on context. Many people say “Like I said,” but that should actually be, “As I said.”)8. But given the [low quality] of my content…
(No hyphen because it’s a noun phrase; hyphenate only with phrasal adjectives, e.g., “low-quality content,” where “low-quality” modifies “content.”)Conclusion: Grammarly is asleep on the job.
See why it’s a good thing I’m not in your comments section every day, nitpicking every error? This would get old fast. But like the terrible Eye of Sauron, I do see every error.
“Write the way you talk” isn’t a bad way to get started with writing, but it’s useless advice when the time comes to polish your prose.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 16/September/2019 @ 6:24 pm
Meant to say that Lucky is huge, now, compared to Buddy!
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 15/September/2019 @ 7:50 pm
Sorry about the rain. When does rainy season end, or does it ever end? It’s been going on so long that I’ve forgotten when it began.
Great outdoor pics, as always. Too bad your socks killed your dogs.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 15/September/2019 @ 6:44 pm
A clear and concise wrap-up to your trip. I think the non-walker-friendly aspect of the city would be a deal-breaker for me. And maybe to some extent the Yankee guilt as well; I’d always be on my guard about encountering angry/resentful people, especially when they’re drunk, as sometimes happens here in Korea. Would I want to live somewhere that daily evoked pangs of conscience?
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 15/September/2019 @ 2:44 am
For what it’s worth, your 20K-step daily average is about three times my daily average because I have days where I don’t do any walking beyond the strolls I take at work. While I never have a “zero steps” day, I’ll have days where I’ve managed only, oh, 6000 steps. On super-lazy Saturdays, I’ve had as low as 250 steps. Heh. All those lazy days drag my average way, way down.
Anyway, you put in an admirable effort every single day, and I suspect you’d make 500 miles well before the 53-day mark. My upcoming walk is officially 633 km, or about 393 miles. So “I would walk 400 miles…”
I’m pretty sure that intermittent fasting involves eating during a 6- or 8-hour window of the day, then consuming absolutely nothing else except water for the remaining 16-18 hours. This doesn’t limit you to one meal a day; you could conceivably squeeze in at least two meals during an 8-hour period, but the important thing is not to eat at all for 16-18 hours at a time, and to stay under your basal metabolic rate when it comes to calorie consumption.* That said, good luck getting down to your goal weight! That shouldn’t take more than a couple weeks, tops.
__________
*Apparently, the medical folks recently changed how one calculates one’s BMR. One quickie method used to be “12 calories per pound of body weight.” That is now considered too generous. I think the current method is closer to 9-10 calories per pound of body weight, but that’s just when you use the simple method of calculation: the actual BMR algorithm is much more complicated and convoluted, factoring in age, general activity level, and other things. Thanks to the changeover, I’ve gone from being a roughly 3500-calorie guy to about a 2600-calorie guy. For me to lose weight at the pace I set while in France last year, eating only a meal a day, I need to have about a 2000-calorie deficit, i.e., if my BMR is around 2600 calories, I need to consume no more than 600 measly calories a day. That’s as painful to me as having no beer is painful to you.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 14/September/2019 @ 12:07 am
Welcome back! Glad that all is in order. Sorry to read about your buddy John. May he heal up quickly.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 12/September/2019 @ 6:42 pm
The cool thing about people who write in public is that it’s easy to track the course of any mental deterioration. Heh.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 11/September/2019 @ 6:58 pm
Whoops! I wrote that Thich Nhat Hanh is “based in Paris.” That was supposed to be “based in France.” He’s actually somewhere in France’s southwest, i.e., in wine country. Heh. And now we know the Buddhist secret to true happiness.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 10/September/2019 @ 9:10 pm
What a conclusion! And you even got a shot of a church. Vietnam has its own native religions, but in terms of the big faiths, it’s largely a Buddhist country. Unlike the rest of SE Asia, though, Mahayana Buddhism is big in Vietnam (in the rest of SE Asia, it’s the older Theravada Buddhism that dominates)—especially Zen Buddhism, called “Thien” in the VN. Famous monk Thich Nhat Hanh, based in Paris and a big exponent of Buddhist-Christian dialogue, is a Vietnamese Thien monk of the Plum Village lineage, which he founded. His books on Buddhism concentrate less on metaphysics and more on psychology; his book Anger, in particular, is a good one to read. His language is simple and clear, as is usually the case with Zennies.
One editor’s note: this is the second time I’ve seen you write “hammer and cycle.” At first, I thought this was a joke that I just wasn’t getting, but now, I’m thinking it’s a genuine mistake. The crescent-shaped tool crossing the hammer is a sickle, i.e., a small scythe (rhymes with “pickle”). Together, as you know, the implements represent the labor of the working man.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 10/September/2019 @ 8:58 pm
Next chapter—
“Vietnam: Lessons Learned.”I’m glad it’s been mostly enjoyable. Will be curious to hear more re: how viable Vietnam is as a “Plan B” retirement location. From where I sit, you seem to have settled quite nicely into the Filipino rhythm of things, so what would it take to nudge you out of the PI and over to the VN?
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 09/September/2019 @ 8:13 pm
It all looks good, although those sandwiches seemed a bit on the small side. I guess that’s why they were so cheap. The meat in the pho looked particularly good. There’s some decent pho to be had in Seoul, but there are also the shitty restaurants here that serve pho where the meat is shriveled and ghost-white. I’m going to guess that that has something to do with not using the brisket cut, which is what’s normally supposed to go into the soup.
So, regarding that fish that came out mounted like a morbid museum piece, are you supposed to pluck it from its mounting, lay it flat on a plate, then eat it? Or do you just tear at it with chopsticks while it’s still vertical?
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 08/September/2019 @ 2:42 pm
“We did not lose Vietnam! It was a tie!”
– Otto the stupid CIA assassin, A Fish Called Wanda» Posted By Kevin Kim On 08/September/2019 @ 10:07 am
So… is Vietnam still a viable Plan B after your glimpse of the culture’s not-so-hidden hatred and resentment of the Yanks? It could be that encountering Vietnamese culture would be much more pleasant if you stayed away from guided tours and just walked the city with a friend/guide—someone with whom you could have a civil, frank, and more-or-less-deep discussion about how things have changed (and haven’t changed) since the war. What do other expats in Vietnam say about Vietnamese attitudes toward foreigners (especially white Westerners)?
Looking forward to the “foodie” post.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 07/September/2019 @ 9:59 pm
You’re practicing your real-life Frogger skills, I guess.
I’m very curious about Vietnamese food culture, but please don’t do anything you don’t wanna do.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 06/September/2019 @ 2:39 pm
Was getting worried because of the absence of posts. Had visions of you covered in stab wounds and bleeding out into a rain gutter somewhere. Luckily, that turned out not to be the case.
Nice pics! Sai Gon, Sai Gone—it all gets kind of confusing.
I tried Googling your fascinating tree. The closest I got was “mam xoi con ga,” but according to this page, there’s only one such tree in Vietnam, so I don’t think that that tree is the same species as your tree.
Wanna see a pic of you eating street food on a stick. Some critter with more than four legs, preferably.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 06/September/2019 @ 12:13 am
Oh, yeah: vocative comma!
(vocative = calling or addressing someone)Good morning, Vietnam!
Yes, sir!
Hey, dude.
Oi, mate!
What is it, Rover?
Carl, I think I’m dying.As the poster says:
“Eat, Grandpa!”
“EAT GRANDPA!”
—Commas save lives.(Here’s one version of that poster.)
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 03/September/2019 @ 7:53 pm
Guess I went a little nuts with the italics HTML. Sorry. I’ll try again:
Good luck and have fun! Hopefully, you’ll wander further afield than the standard bánh mì and phở. (Although I wouldn’t mind seeing pics of those, the way the Vietnamese actually do them.)
Also curious about what counts as street food over there.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 03/September/2019 @ 7:35 pm
Good luck and have fun! Hopefully, you’ll wander further afield than the standard bánh mì and phở. (Although I wouldn’t mind seeing pics of those, the way the Vietnamese actually do them.)
Also curious about what counts as street food over there.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 03/September/2019 @ 7:33 pm
Happy Hashing, safe travels, and please upload lots of food pics.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 02/September/2019 @ 7:13 pm
In French, “queue” means “tail.” It’s also slang for “dick.”
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 02/September/2019 @ 2:01 pm
Damn. I was sure your reply was going to be, “You’re right!”
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 01/September/2019 @ 9:39 pm
That last dialogue—the one with “you’re right” in it—cleverly portrayed a verbal judo flip.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 31/August/2019 @ 8:20 pm
One lifetime, many lives–Chapter 5: Working for a living (part 2, safety first!)
Oy. Those nuns, with their bad habits.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 31/August/2019 @ 12:42 pm
“the Postal Service training facility in Potomoc, MD”
As a resident of the DC-metro area, I must lodge a protest, as the spelling is “PotoMAC.” Just think: “John MAC. Poto-MAC.”
Meanwhile, all praise and honor to Bobbie MAC!
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 30/August/2019 @ 8:39 pm
Hey, thanks for the moped pic. I can’t unsee that.
re: typography
Yes: two spaces after periods, question marks, exclamation points, and colons. One space after other punctuation like commas. That was the old-school way of thinking until the internet came along and fucked it all up. Now it’s all different, at least when it comes to online prose.
I type my blog posts and comments in the old-school way, but Blogger—and other people’s commenting software—automatically “corrects” my typing to make everything a single space.
The standard explanation for the change is that, with the advent of modern word-processing software, automatic kerning (managing the space between typed letters and symbols) and other typographical measures have made it unnecessary to do the two-space thing. The software does it all for you, so there’s no longer a need to “signal” to the reader, via extra spaces, that you’re ending a sentence or introducing a list.
Personally, I find this new way of doing things aesthetically irritating, but I have no choice but to bow to the modern convention because, even if I type things old-school, the software changes my spacing.
re: dawgz
Our dog, a terrier/spaniel mix named Velcro (I named him when I saw how his paws made ripping sounds every time he walked on a carpet), was a horny bastard who humped our cat, our tossed-aside pillows, and pretty much anything else he could salaciously hug. We never got him neutered, so he remained randy for most of his doggy life. I have no idea what goes through a dog’s mind, but the urge to hump may simply be a dominance play although, as you say, if it’s “teh gey,” then there’s nothing wrong with that.
Just don’t be surprised if your dogs end up on parade floats in San Francisco, dressed in rainbow-colored clown costumes and wearing G-strings with “PRIDE” written across the back.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 29/August/2019 @ 7:09 pm
That looks to have been an awesome celebration. What’s better than food, fun, and time spent among friends? Once again, a Happy Sixty-fourth to you. Here’s to many happy returns.
Oh, yeah—did I see that right? Did the slaw have raisins in it? That’s actually kinda cool if so: the sweetness of the raisins balances out the tang of the vinegar in the slaw’s sauce. I’d eat that.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 28/August/2019 @ 7:45 pm
Pasty looks good! And Happy Birfday, Old Fart!
“Age is just a number,” says 89-year-old Clint Eastwood as he hungrily eyes a twenty-year-old.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 27/August/2019 @ 6:17 pm
«« Back To Stats PageFor what it’s worth, I have no problem seeing the pics from my Mac laptop at home. Beddy strangie.
» Posted By Kevin Kim On 27/August/2019 @ 12:29 am