Comments Posted By John McCrarey
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Brian, yes, getting your news from one source, be it CNN or Fox, you will not likely see the whole story. And Google limits search results, or at least buries, stories that challenge the narrative. Luckily, there are still some blogs out there, like Instapundit, that provide links and information thinking people can use to better understand current events.
There are some skinny girls in Hideaway; I wanted to be clear on that. I guess they were off eating elsewhere so the fat gals could have the table to themselves. Old timers here say fast food prominence has changed the average Filipina’s body shape immensely.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 10/October/2023 @ 6:39 am
DS, It felt somewhat better yesterday, so that’s progress.
For the record, they were big when I met them. I consider it a maintenance program!
» Posted By John McCrarey On 10/October/2023 @ 6:25 am
Kev is definitely a fine internet sleuth! I hope you are doing okay, Jerry.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 10/October/2023 @ 7:12 am
Kev, thanks for the links. I’d seen some, but not these in particular. The reason I don’t think it is an injury is the intermittent nature of the weakness. It seems to kick in around 1K on flat ground and sooner on climbs. After a little rest, I’m back to “normal” and feel none of the symptoms in normal movements around the house. I will schedule a consult with the docs ASAP.
I still don’t ascribe any bad intentions or motivations to Swan. We are both finding our way, and whether that way leads us to being a couple remains to be seen. I do think there has been progress in that regard, but obviously, I’m still not satisfied with the arrangement. I’ll give it some more time, although perhaps not until the end of the year. In the meantime, she is working around the house and earning her pay.
As for me, yeah, perhaps my final destiny is finding whatever comfort that comes with the bar life. This is my last hoorah attempting a normal relationship. I literally am too old for this shit.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 09/October/2023 @ 7:53 am
Rascal, I just Googled my symptoms, and that dirty word was the worst of several possibilities. I’m sure it is much more likely to be one of the sciatic ones you mentioned or, hopefully, something less.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 08/October/2023 @ 2:03 pm
Kev, well, that trike driver was already parked there, and I didn’t expect he would leave the family behind. I don’t have any idea what they were doing out there in the middle of nowhere to begin with, but I felt fortunate to find a ride.
I very rarely watch TV, but it is a straight-on view from the couch. It should be fine, and I can close the drapes if need be.
Most larger houses here have a “maid’s room” attached. I wouldn’t have much use for that basement space anyway. And yes, having my helpers living downstairs turns my master bedroom into a master’s room.
That’s a new doorknob in the bathroom, and the installers left the keys in it. I haven’t gotten around to moving them yet, but it does look weird now that you mention it. No, I can’t lock a victim in–it can be unlocked from inside. I think the keys are there in case you accidentally lock yourself out.
Yes, I’m looking to put a dresser on the wall next to my desk for my storage space.
I’m still assessing the situation with Swan. The “everything will be different” line was something of an overstatement, but I do feel like slow progress is being made. We’ll see where this all leads.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 08/October/2023 @ 7:29 am
Thanks for the tips, Rascal. I’ll do some more research and see the docs soon if the issue persists. The scariest possibility I read was MS.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 08/October/2023 @ 7:10 am
Yes, I will continue to monitor the leg problem. I had some issues on the walk into town last night. We’ll see how it goes on my morning walk. The prospect of the knee giving out and me hitting the ground is disconcerting.
I’m still Facebook friends with all of my former wives. Also, my high school sweetheart. There is almost zero actual contact though, and usually nothing more than a happy birthday or Merry Christmas. So, it is not about keeping a door open in the hopes of reuniting someday. In my case, I think both parties would find that idea repugnant. But the past connections represent memories of times once shared together, and I believe there is value in holding on to that.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 07/October/2023 @ 8:13 am
Something great is coming your way
Gera, no, nothing has changed with Swan. Yet. I was just recounting a long ago memory with one of those “might have been” love encounters.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 07/October/2023 @ 8:24 am
DS, I’m not being all lovey-dovey with Lucky these days, but he has shown no signs of aggression since the incident. Perhaps he sees the error of his ways.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 07/October/2023 @ 8:22 am
Soju, it is hard to imagine working an eight-hour shift for the equivalent of three dollars. Way back in the ’70s, I had a summer job at the car wash making $1.35 an hour. I recall sometimes going next door to the Arby’s for lunch and spending almost two hours pay for the meal. I guess that traumatic experience makes being generous with the girls easier.
Yeah, I won’t be a regular at McDonald’s, but I can picture an occasional drunken visit on the way home.
Are you saying that bear got trashed?
» Posted By John McCrarey On 07/October/2023 @ 8:21 am
Jesus, I knew what I meant but once again chose the wrong word to say it. Their must be a reason for that.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 06/October/2023 @ 8:36 am
No, different woman. I was trying to be discrete out of respect for her privacy. This one was in the UK.
Well, the one descended from Eve must be the most evil. It is their nature, right?
Yeah, from my perspective, I’m thinking, what’s a smart girl like you doing with a loser like that? Of course, rejecting the perfect man for her (me) says a lot.
Failing to implement what we read? I wonder what that must be like…
» Posted By John McCrarey On 06/October/2023 @ 6:44 am
DS. I doubt it; she said she doesn’t plan to return, and there is no reason for her to do so. But I have zero interest in being her backup plan anyway. She’s little more than history to me now.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 06/October/2023 @ 6:31 am
Thanks for the link with grilling tips. The stakes are high! Those steaks in the photo are very thick. That’s hard to find here, especially in a ribeye. I do want to master the art of a good sear, but I don’t want to over (or under) cook the inside. A thin cut makes that more difficult, and with inflated prices for USDA beef (those four on the grill cost $70), I don’t get much opportunity to practice. The article mentioned searing at the end, which I’ll need to read more about.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 05/October/2023 @ 7:33 am
Thanks for the tip on the map app; I’ll definitely check it out.
Yes, everyone pitched in for the unpacking chores. Only problem is, I’m clueless about where everything is now. Of course, after finding it the first time, I know where to look in the future.
Buddy was already loaded in the car when Lucky went nuts. He didn’t want to go with us, and I foolishly tried to assert myself as master.
The wounds have pretty much scabbed over and stopped oozing, so that’s progress. I’m still sore, but I’m getting there. Taking my meds and keeping them clean should do the trick.
I’ve always been one to appreciate a full moon, but I usually pant rather than howl!
» Posted By John McCrarey On 04/October/2023 @ 6:50 am
DS, Right after the biting incident, my driver volunteered to take Lucky off my hands. He said he would make some aso adobo. It was tempting…
» Posted By John McCrarey On 04/October/2023 @ 6:52 am
Dan, no Swan doesn’t know about the blog (yet) and I hope it stays that way. I tend to write as if no one I know reads the blog, and I’m surprised when I find out otherwise. There is a feeling of freedom in anonymity, but I’ve also tried to exercise some discretion (hence not using Swan’s actual name). Swan was never shy about posting photos of her and the deceased lover, so her reluctance now is more about keeping our relationship a secret. I don’t post anything about her or us on Facebook, only sharing here on my little-read blog.
As for the TV, given the room layout, it is really the only available wall space. That’s where Swan’s TV was before, too.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 03/October/2023 @ 7:04 am
Thanks for the videos. I saw some others in the sidebar that look interesting, too. I’ve always thought of Lucky as being equal parts stupid and crazy. He’s been fine since that incident, but I know if he is triggered again he will not show any self-restraint. He tends to be disobedient as well, which I find especially frustrating. Buddy is the complete opposite personality-wise.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 03/October/2023 @ 6:52 am
Dan, thank you for the feedback.
Yes, I could make some changes for a healthier lifestyle, but at this point, I’d rather enjoy whatever time I have left. I actually don’t eat much bar food, and when I do, it is usually delivered from a nearby restaurant. Still, I suppose those breaded chicken fingers are the “orange” food you despise.
When you wear your heart on your sleeve and then write about it, you open yourself to well-intentioned criticism. I don’t take offense and value the input, even if I don’t always change my behavior. I don’t think Lucky’s bite was intended as a rebuke, he just didn’t understand what was happening and was afraid, so he lashed out. It’s still unforgivable, but he isn’t very bright.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 03/October/2023 @ 7:20 am
Kev, the chart was intended to be humorous. I’ve been a bargoer literally all my life. Some of my earliest recollections are sitting in a beer joint with my dad (I was drinking cola, of course) while he held court with his bar buddies. I think it is fair to say that the bar life is in my genes. That doesn’t mean it has to be the primary focus of who I am–before I retired, I had a successful career, albeit with the government. So, I know I am able to change my priorities, and I’m willing to do so as circumstances warrant.
I did sorta see a doctor. I got some lunch to go at Sit-n-Bull a couple of hours after the bite. Dave (the owner of Wet Spot) was there eating and couldn’t help but notice my hand. Dave is a retired physician, and he gave me some cleaning/disinfecting suggestions. He asked me to send him a photo of the wounds the following day, and I did. Dave replied that there didn’t appear to be signs of infection but gave me a prescription for some antibiotics (name, dosage, etc.). You don’t actually need a paper prescription to buy most drugs at the pharmacy here. I’m taking those now.
I’m taking a step in a different direction; we’ll see where it leads.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 02/October/2023 @ 8:01 am
BW, taking some antibiotics now. I’ll be fine.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 02/October/2023 @ 7:40 am
DS, yep, good advice, and some of it I’m actually taking! Got some meds, gave Lucky another chance, and assessing the relationship status day-by-day based on her actions more than her words. So yeah, I’m still in the game for now, win or lose.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 02/October/2023 @ 7:39 am
Soju, Lucky didn’t look scared as much as disobedient. It could have been ignorance or apathy–I don’t know, and I don’t care. Seriously though, what bothered me the most was the viciousness of the attack. It wasn’t a leave me alone warning nip; it was a full-on frenzied killer mode. It is scary living with an animal you can’t trust. That said, I let him back inside the house last night, and he’s pretty much acting like nothing happened. I’ll have zero tolerance for future incidents, but for now, his life goes on.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 02/October/2023 @ 7:34 am
Brian, thanks for understanding. I just don’t equate my bar time with being unfaithful or uncommitted. My ex-girlfriend Marissa always joined me in the bars, and I miss that. And yes, I bought lady drinks and she had no issues with that. I think the comparison to a tip is apt.
And yes, if I chose to go to bars versus spending time with Swan, that would be a legitimate issue. There is a balance to be achieved, and I’m hopeful that Swan and I will find our middle ground.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 02/October/2023 @ 8:38 am
Jimbo, I swear you are sounding more and more like that voice in my head I’m always arguing with! 🙂
But seriously, I do appreciate your insights. It’s obvious you know me, but I’m clueless as to how. I hope next time you see me, you say hi. I’ll buy you a beer!
Yes, we all have our struggles on life’s journey. I’m not sure what is going on with Martin, but I saw John on the street the other day, and he’s not looking well as he deals with his Parkinson’s. He married Mango, but last I heard, she was living in the province. None of my business; we all have to walk our own road, but I wish him the best.
If my current path leads to tears, so be it. As you say, as long as we breathe, there are always new roads to explore. And yes, Swan’s answer was more about loving what I do for her than why she allegedly loves me. That’s okay. One more piece of the puzzle.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 02/October/2023 @ 8:27 am
Perhaps it is my destiny to aspire for a different future while refusing to let go of the past. My bar life is what it is, but I can’t, won’t, and don’t see it as being evil in any way, shape or form. That doesn’t mean I won’t pursue better options that arise; I don’t see what I’m doing as wrong.
I respect that you and others hold a contrary opinion and appreciate that y’all care enough to try and help me see the light. Perhaps I’ve been cursed with a blind eye. It could be at 68 I’m firmly set in my ways.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 01/October/2023 @ 10:21 am
Kev, there is no question that Swan has qualities unlike those I’ve experienced with other gals I’ve met here. And no, she is not perfect, but of course, neither am I. It will be interesting to see what happens when we start spending more time in close proximity. Whatever the outcome, I don’t subscribe to the belief that I’m being used for free rent and salary. The money I provide Swan is not intended as a salary; it is just an allowance so she has funds to pay her personal expenses without constantly asking me for help. I choose to believe I’m the white knight sent to rescue her after the tragic loss of her love. God does have a sense of humor, right?
I reject the premise that visiting bars or judging a dance competition is indicative of a lack of commitment. I’m not doing anything in the bars I wouldn’t do if Swan were there beside me. Moreover, from the beginning, I told Swan about my bargirl “friends” and that I occasionally buy lady drinks for them. I brought her with me to an SOB so she could see for herself that it was a legitimate event. I expect I’ll be spending less time in bars because Swan provides a better option, but I have zero remorse or shame about visiting my favorites in the bars occasionally.
Here’s the deal with me in that regard. I was talking to my waitress the other night, and she told me her salary per night was 100 pesos ($2.). Even so, she was happy because this bar lets the girls keep customer tips individually (rather than shared in a tip jar), and with lady drink commissions, she makes enough to support her family. So, yeah, I could act all holier than thou and decline to participate in providing compensation for these friendly and hard-working girls. But then I’d feel guilty and selfish. The girls mean nothing to me on an emotional level. I don’t play touchy-feely with them (I even decline their shoulder rubs these days), so I just don’t feel like I have anything to apologize for or be ashamed of.
Anyway, I hope you are right about Swan being the key to my finally escaping that damn samsara. I respect her and hope I prove worthy of her love. A shared life seems more satisfying than a solitary existence, at least in my imagination. Sharing your heart comes with some risk, of course, but I’ll take that chance one more time and see what happens. If things do go south, her staying or going will be situational. I’ve managed to maintain friendships with most of my exes over the years, and if that’s the case with Swan, she’d be welcome to sleep in the basement with my other helpers. Knowing Swan, I expect she’d want to move, though.
Today’s the day. Let’s get started on the next chapter of my tragicomedy life!
» Posted By John McCrarey On 30/September/2023 @ 7:25 am
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday
Jimbo, welp, I gotta say I’m impressed with your insights. I kept wondering as I read your comment, do I know this guy? I know my life is an open book (I post my diary entry every day), but still, you have a pretty accurate grasp on where things stand with me, and I have to admit your words resonated with me.
Let me just say that my bargirl relationships are all innocent, generous, and not that deep. 🙂 But seriously, I don’t expect Swan or anyone else to hang out with me in bars seven days a week. I fully expect I’ll be making significant lifestyle changes in the days ahead, and I’m fine with that. Still, I would love to have my love at my side on the nights I do go out, and I see no problem at all with introducing her to the girls I consider bar friends, including Joy.
And yes, I’m aware that self-awareness isn’t my strong point. That’s why I really appreciate the insights offered in comments like yours. Even if it appears I ignore the advice I’m offered; I do listen and try to incorporate the ideas into my thinking. I don’t always succeed in making changes, but I am trying.
If disaster lies ahead, I’ll deal with it. I’m going in, eyes wide open, and I will do my best to make this work. If it doesn’t, at least I tried. My old life will be waiting with open arms should that be the road I wind up taking.
You know, I’ve thought about making a book out of the best of Long Time Gone (heh, that would be a thin book, indeed!). I doubt anyone would read it other than maybe my grandkids wondering what that crazy guy who moved to Asia was all about. We’ll see.
Thanks again for reading and sharing your thoughts with me, Jimbo.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 29/September/2023 @ 3:44 pm
«« Back To Stats PagePenetraila, There’s a lot of unknowns, I admit. Swan keeps telling me it will be different once I move in, and now that time has arrived, so I guess we are going to find out. I do enjoy Swan’s company, and if she is truly willing, I know we can find things of mutual interest to share. If it doesn’t work out, at least I tried.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 29/September/2023 @ 3:17 pm