Comments Posted By John McCrarey
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Thanks for the videos. I saw some others in the sidebar that look interesting, too. I’ve always thought of Lucky as being equal parts stupid and crazy. He’s been fine since that incident, but I know if he is triggered again he will not show any self-restraint. He tends to be disobedient as well, which I find especially frustrating. Buddy is the complete opposite personality-wise.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 03/October/2023 @ 6:52 am
Dan, thank you for the feedback.
Yes, I could make some changes for a healthier lifestyle, but at this point, I’d rather enjoy whatever time I have left. I actually don’t eat much bar food, and when I do, it is usually delivered from a nearby restaurant. Still, I suppose those breaded chicken fingers are the “orange” food you despise.
When you wear your heart on your sleeve and then write about it, you open yourself to well-intentioned criticism. I don’t take offense and value the input, even if I don’t always change my behavior. I don’t think Lucky’s bite was intended as a rebuke, he just didn’t understand what was happening and was afraid, so he lashed out. It’s still unforgivable, but he isn’t very bright.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 03/October/2023 @ 7:20 am
Kev, the chart was intended to be humorous. I’ve been a bargoer literally all my life. Some of my earliest recollections are sitting in a beer joint with my dad (I was drinking cola, of course) while he held court with his bar buddies. I think it is fair to say that the bar life is in my genes. That doesn’t mean it has to be the primary focus of who I am–before I retired, I had a successful career, albeit with the government. So, I know I am able to change my priorities, and I’m willing to do so as circumstances warrant.
I did sorta see a doctor. I got some lunch to go at Sit-n-Bull a couple of hours after the bite. Dave (the owner of Wet Spot) was there eating and couldn’t help but notice my hand. Dave is a retired physician, and he gave me some cleaning/disinfecting suggestions. He asked me to send him a photo of the wounds the following day, and I did. Dave replied that there didn’t appear to be signs of infection but gave me a prescription for some antibiotics (name, dosage, etc.). You don’t actually need a paper prescription to buy most drugs at the pharmacy here. I’m taking those now.
I’m taking a step in a different direction; we’ll see where it leads.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 02/October/2023 @ 8:01 am
BW, taking some antibiotics now. I’ll be fine.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 02/October/2023 @ 7:40 am
DS, yep, good advice, and some of it I’m actually taking! Got some meds, gave Lucky another chance, and assessing the relationship status day-by-day based on her actions more than her words. So yeah, I’m still in the game for now, win or lose.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 02/October/2023 @ 7:39 am
Soju, Lucky didn’t look scared as much as disobedient. It could have been ignorance or apathy–I don’t know, and I don’t care. Seriously though, what bothered me the most was the viciousness of the attack. It wasn’t a leave me alone warning nip; it was a full-on frenzied killer mode. It is scary living with an animal you can’t trust. That said, I let him back inside the house last night, and he’s pretty much acting like nothing happened. I’ll have zero tolerance for future incidents, but for now, his life goes on.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 02/October/2023 @ 7:34 am
Brian, thanks for understanding. I just don’t equate my bar time with being unfaithful or uncommitted. My ex-girlfriend Marissa always joined me in the bars, and I miss that. And yes, I bought lady drinks and she had no issues with that. I think the comparison to a tip is apt.
And yes, if I chose to go to bars versus spending time with Swan, that would be a legitimate issue. There is a balance to be achieved, and I’m hopeful that Swan and I will find our middle ground.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 02/October/2023 @ 8:38 am
Jimbo, I swear you are sounding more and more like that voice in my head I’m always arguing with! 🙂
But seriously, I do appreciate your insights. It’s obvious you know me, but I’m clueless as to how. I hope next time you see me, you say hi. I’ll buy you a beer!
Yes, we all have our struggles on life’s journey. I’m not sure what is going on with Martin, but I saw John on the street the other day, and he’s not looking well as he deals with his Parkinson’s. He married Mango, but last I heard, she was living in the province. None of my business; we all have to walk our own road, but I wish him the best.
If my current path leads to tears, so be it. As you say, as long as we breathe, there are always new roads to explore. And yes, Swan’s answer was more about loving what I do for her than why she allegedly loves me. That’s okay. One more piece of the puzzle.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 02/October/2023 @ 8:27 am
Perhaps it is my destiny to aspire for a different future while refusing to let go of the past. My bar life is what it is, but I can’t, won’t, and don’t see it as being evil in any way, shape or form. That doesn’t mean I won’t pursue better options that arise; I don’t see what I’m doing as wrong.
I respect that you and others hold a contrary opinion and appreciate that y’all care enough to try and help me see the light. Perhaps I’ve been cursed with a blind eye. It could be at 68 I’m firmly set in my ways.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 01/October/2023 @ 10:21 am
Kev, there is no question that Swan has qualities unlike those I’ve experienced with other gals I’ve met here. And no, she is not perfect, but of course, neither am I. It will be interesting to see what happens when we start spending more time in close proximity. Whatever the outcome, I don’t subscribe to the belief that I’m being used for free rent and salary. The money I provide Swan is not intended as a salary; it is just an allowance so she has funds to pay her personal expenses without constantly asking me for help. I choose to believe I’m the white knight sent to rescue her after the tragic loss of her love. God does have a sense of humor, right?
I reject the premise that visiting bars or judging a dance competition is indicative of a lack of commitment. I’m not doing anything in the bars I wouldn’t do if Swan were there beside me. Moreover, from the beginning, I told Swan about my bargirl “friends” and that I occasionally buy lady drinks for them. I brought her with me to an SOB so she could see for herself that it was a legitimate event. I expect I’ll be spending less time in bars because Swan provides a better option, but I have zero remorse or shame about visiting my favorites in the bars occasionally.
Here’s the deal with me in that regard. I was talking to my waitress the other night, and she told me her salary per night was 100 pesos ($2.). Even so, she was happy because this bar lets the girls keep customer tips individually (rather than shared in a tip jar), and with lady drink commissions, she makes enough to support her family. So, yeah, I could act all holier than thou and decline to participate in providing compensation for these friendly and hard-working girls. But then I’d feel guilty and selfish. The girls mean nothing to me on an emotional level. I don’t play touchy-feely with them (I even decline their shoulder rubs these days), so I just don’t feel like I have anything to apologize for or be ashamed of.
Anyway, I hope you are right about Swan being the key to my finally escaping that damn samsara. I respect her and hope I prove worthy of her love. A shared life seems more satisfying than a solitary existence, at least in my imagination. Sharing your heart comes with some risk, of course, but I’ll take that chance one more time and see what happens. If things do go south, her staying or going will be situational. I’ve managed to maintain friendships with most of my exes over the years, and if that’s the case with Swan, she’d be welcome to sleep in the basement with my other helpers. Knowing Swan, I expect she’d want to move, though.
Today’s the day. Let’s get started on the next chapter of my tragicomedy life!
» Posted By John McCrarey On 30/September/2023 @ 7:25 am
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday
Jimbo, welp, I gotta say I’m impressed with your insights. I kept wondering as I read your comment, do I know this guy? I know my life is an open book (I post my diary entry every day), but still, you have a pretty accurate grasp on where things stand with me, and I have to admit your words resonated with me.
Let me just say that my bargirl relationships are all innocent, generous, and not that deep. 🙂 But seriously, I don’t expect Swan or anyone else to hang out with me in bars seven days a week. I fully expect I’ll be making significant lifestyle changes in the days ahead, and I’m fine with that. Still, I would love to have my love at my side on the nights I do go out, and I see no problem at all with introducing her to the girls I consider bar friends, including Joy.
And yes, I’m aware that self-awareness isn’t my strong point. That’s why I really appreciate the insights offered in comments like yours. Even if it appears I ignore the advice I’m offered; I do listen and try to incorporate the ideas into my thinking. I don’t always succeed in making changes, but I am trying.
If disaster lies ahead, I’ll deal with it. I’m going in, eyes wide open, and I will do my best to make this work. If it doesn’t, at least I tried. My old life will be waiting with open arms should that be the road I wind up taking.
You know, I’ve thought about making a book out of the best of Long Time Gone (heh, that would be a thin book, indeed!). I doubt anyone would read it other than maybe my grandkids wondering what that crazy guy who moved to Asia was all about. We’ll see.
Thanks again for reading and sharing your thoughts with me, Jimbo.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 29/September/2023 @ 3:44 pm
Penetraila, There’s a lot of unknowns, I admit. Swan keeps telling me it will be different once I move in, and now that time has arrived, so I guess we are going to find out. I do enjoy Swan’s company, and if she is truly willing, I know we can find things of mutual interest to share. If it doesn’t work out, at least I tried.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 29/September/2023 @ 3:17 pm
Nice to hear from you again, Drain. I’m not going to lie and say I don’t have any doubts, but still, I’m willing to take the next step and see what happens. If it turns out to be as you and others predict, I can’t say I wasn’t warned. I guess in the worst-case scenario, I can always go back to the empty life I’m living now. Hell, maybe I’ll come to accept and appreciate it.
Tomorrow is move-in day. I’ll know soon enough.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 29/September/2023 @ 3:12 pm
Kev, yes, I need to have a sit-down heart-to-heart with Swan to discuss our way forward. Most of our communication is on Messenger, which isn’t the best method to express emotions. Living under the same roof will definitely improve our face time, and hopefully, we will connect the dots a little better.
I’ve thought a lot about the things Swan and I might share together. And no, I don’t expect her to be eager to engage in everything I do. Yeah, having a girlfriend with me on the group hikes would be nice, but I wouldn’t enjoy it knowing she didn’t want to be there. Her compromise was to do a weekly solo walk with me, and that’s fine. Similarly, I know she isn’t into the bar scene, and I’m cool with that. Still, I’m hoping we’ll dine out once or twice a week and maybe have a couple of beers afterward. Of course, I expect we will find some new ways to spend our time together–travel is something we will enjoy sharing, I’m sure.
My dad always claimed to be Scotch-Irish. “I drink like an Irishman and respond like a Scot if you want money.” Hmm, maybe I should embrace that heritage when it comes to lady drinks.
Thanks for the Bobby McFerrin links. I don’t recall seeing the video when you posted it back then. Good stuff! (It didn’t make me cry, though.) 🙂
Swan is who she is, and there is nothing wrong with that. We will soon know if we can connect in a meaningful way that fulfills our mutual needs and desires. I’m hopeful but ready to accept it if I prove unworthy of her love.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 28/September/2023 @ 8:09 am
Motorrad, thanks for being a faithful reader of my humble blog all these years. I also very much appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts and advice with me. It means a lot to me, and I value your opinions.
No question about it: Swan and I need to have a heart-to-heart about what we both desire from this relationship. I absolutely do not expect her to adapt to my lifestyle, but I do desire companionship and engaging in some shared activities we both enjoy. Yes, the bar scene has become my default lifestyle, and I do enjoy myself some beers, but I’m willing to adopt some alternatives, like drinking with Swan out on the patio a home.
I told Swan from the start about the bargirls and lady drinks. She understands how that works and didn’t express any issues with it. I’d rather be with her, but she, at least so far, hasn’t found the time or desire to be seen with me in public. If I ever take up darts again, nothing would make me happier than having her there to cheer me on when I play. And yes, I’m willing to make compromises, but I also expect her to show interest in being a part of my life. We will know how willing she is to do that soon.
Thanks again for your comment. It’s great to hear from you!
» Posted By John McCrarey On 28/September/2023 @ 7:43 am
Soju, thanks for the laugh to start my morning!
And I get sacrifice and compromise, but that’s a two-way street. It feels like I’m sacrificing my happiness, compromising what I value, and getting nothing in return.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 28/September/2023 @ 7:12 am
Yes, I recall that walk of yours on the east coast and thinking at the time it was similar to my experience on the National Highway, only much, much longer!
» Posted By John McCrarey On 27/September/2023 @ 6:44 am
If This Is It by Huey Lewis and The News. It’s been a long time since I heard it, but I recognized the lyrics. For some reason, I had it in my head that this was an Eddie Money song. In my defense, they are both from the same era and have a similar sound.
As to its applicability to my situation–we’ll know soon enough. Maybe I believe in miracles, but I’m hoping for a BIG change in attitude once I move in. But then there is that voice in my head saying, “Dude…”
» Posted By John McCrarey On 27/September/2023 @ 6:40 am
He lived in Angeles and had a wife/girlfriend there. She was his Barretto squeeze when he was in town. I honestly don’t know more about it than that. I really didn’t know him well.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 26/September/2023 @ 4:22 pm
By her/our house, I’m referring to the fact that I won’t have the keys until next weekend. Then, it becomes “my/our” house, depending on what happens next in the relationship. No politics involved; she’ll choose to be my partner or not.
Yes, when it comes to birthrate, the PI is not suffering from the China (or Korea/Japan/USA) syndrome. I met one bargirl in her early 30s with SIX kids!
It may well have been mah-jongg that they were playing. Thanks for the link!
I was going to make some lewd reference to Swan regarding the shirt, but I opted for discretion. This time!
The gal Goldfinger brought to the Hash with him each week showed up yesterday. Apparently, she hadn’t heard the news. Sad and weird. She just got up and left when she found out Goldfinger wasn’t coming. Ever.
We’ll see what the future brings with Swan. I do think she is a natural caregiver and that’s a nice feature of the relationship. I just hope she lets me reciprocate.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 26/September/2023 @ 5:49 am
I did take one yesterday and she asked me not post it on Facebook. I’m thinking about putting it on the blog today–after all, no one will see it there! 🙂
» Posted By John McCrarey On 25/September/2023 @ 8:21 am
I understand the owner is of German extraction, which may explain the decorative touches. I enjoyed my visit to Red Bar and will definitely be back.
Everything went well yesterday. I was the only foreigner amongst a dozen or so Filipinos and twenty or more kids. I don’t tend to hang out or party with the natives, so it was interesting to observe some of the cultural aspects of this kind of gathering first-hand. After a few beers, I let loose with some of my cleaner jokes and got a few laughs. Swan seemed to be having a good time, too, so in that respect, it was a successful afternoon.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 25/September/2023 @ 5:01 am
The worst part of being off-trail is having to push your way through the undergrowth. Lots can go wrong.
I can’t speak for my fellow judges, but I tend to give some home team advantage. The host bar goes first, and I let them set the standard–they don’t always win, but the other teams have to be demonstratively better. Basically, ties go to the home team.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 24/September/2023 @ 5:32 am
Kev, whatever may motivate my stupidity, it isn’t lust. I don’t pay to fuck the girls I meet in the bars, nor do I pretend that they are girlfriends. I spend time and money on them as bar companions, but that’s as far as it goes–at least for the last couple of years. There was a time when I tied some of my monetary “gifts” to fulfilling my physical needs, but I found that scenario unsatisfying. I’m still tempted occasionally (Aine seems like she’d be fun), but I just don’t want a quid pro quo relationship, sexual or otherwise. I wake up alone every morning, so if it’s lust that drives me, I suck at it.
One week until I move into my new place with Swan as my roommate. I hope things work out for us, and I’m trying to maintain a positive attitude, but I’m also prepared for failure should that be our destiny. Perhaps I’m unworthy of love. Time will tell.
As for the 18-year-old (Maria), that was pushing the boundaries, but I did require her to document that she was of legal age. Why anyone would even think of engaging in felony behavior with a minor boggles my brain. It’s against the law to even have a platonic relationship with someone underage (that’s why I wouldn’t permit Swan’s niece to stay at the house when I move in). The guy in the video took stupid to a whole other level. I will also say this in defense of Maria–she is smarter and more mature than most of the older women I’ve “dated” here. She’s been working in Manila for a couple of months now but still sends me a daily greeting. The only money she has ever asked for was for school expenses, and that was after I volunteered to be her sponsor. Yeah, I’m not cut out for the “Sugar Daddy” role, but Maria would be a fun companion if I were.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 23/September/2023 @ 7:19 am
IF I were ever to open a bar (and I won’t), it would be at least partially open-air and on the beach. That’s the kind of place I like, and I think it would be a hit, especially if it included some pretty waitresses in sexy uniforms. Oh, and I would play the music at a reasonable volume and let customers request their favorite songs.
The nice thing about the Barretto bar scene is the variety. Something for everyone and every mood. If I want a go-go girly bar, I’ve got choices. If I want a beer with a view, I can find that. But yeah, I think we are reaching a saturation point, and we still have THREE new bars getting ready to open. Good luck to them all!
» Posted By John McCrarey On 23/September/2023 @ 6:46 am
Glad you enjoyed, Soju. Hendrix was a genius on the guitar and an idiot on drugs. Not that I have room to talk.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 23/September/2023 @ 6:37 am
“Does it feel good to be darting again?”
Honestly, not really. I sucked so bad it was on the embarrassing side. IF I decide to play semi-regularly, I’m going to have to up my game considerably. Even then, I’d only play in a tourney or two a week, not league.» Posted By John McCrarey On 22/September/2023 @ 5:40 am
“but this fan will not be blowing anything”
See how you are? Be that way! Up to you. (Those are three standard phrases you hear when you piss off a Filipina).Clark, like the old Navy base, is now an economic freeport zone, and is booming with development–factories, high rose condos, hotels, restaurants, and a big airport. They are both independently administered without local government involvement, which might explain their success.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 21/September/2023 @ 7:05 am
They have something similar to jeonse here; I just can’t remember the word for it now. What I’m doing isn’t that, though. I’ve just paid my rent in advance, so I won’t get any of that money back. But I won’t have to pay rent again for a year, so there’s that.
Nope, I’m not interested in saving my polyps; I’m not expecting Hanibal Lecter as a dinner guest. I did have a tooth pulled here once, and the dentist gave it to me without my even asking. The tooth fairy still hasn’t collected it from under my pillow…
» Posted By John McCrarey On 21/September/2023 @ 6:52 am
«« Back To Stats PageSorry for the confusion; my poor writing is at fault. There was an outage that started at 6:03 a.m. yesterday. That was an unscheduled surprise. Power came back a little after noon. This morning, we have a brownout scheduled to begin at 8:00 a.m. that is slated to last until 5:00. Hopefully, they finish whatever the hell they are doing early.
Did you watch the video about pagpag? Wanna try some? (Update: Never mind, just read your blog. Thanks for the shout out)
» Posted By John McCrarey On 20/September/2023 @ 6:45 am